The Senility Prayer
Forgetting the people I never liked

God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune to run into the ones that I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Now that I’m “older” (and refusing to grow up), here’s what I’ve discovered:

1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.
3. I finally got my head together; now my body is falling apart.
4. Funny, I don’t remember being absent minded....
5. All reports are in; life is now officially unfair.
6. If all is not lost; where is it?
7. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
8. Some days you’re the dog; some days you’re the hydrant.
9. I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few...
10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.
12. It’s hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere.
13. Only time the world beats a path to your door is when you’re in the bathroom.
14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.
15. When I’m finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess?
16. It’s not hard to meet expenses... they’re everywhere.
17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter...I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I’m here after.
19. I’M UNABLE TO REMEMBER IF I HAVE MAILED THIS TO YOU OR NOT AND DOUBT IF YOU CAN EITHER!


see also   Aging  Section

Alzheimer’s Wing
Brain Transplant
Cell Phone For Seniors
Daily Exercise for Seniors
Dementia Relations
Handicap Porch
Hopscotch for Seniors
Redneck ATV
Redneck Wheelchair
Redneck Wheelchair Stroller
Senile Agitation
Senior Center Reminder
Time For a Trade-In?
Working Past 65

 

It's Not My Job

Mathematician's Truck

Redneck Baby Stroller

Redneck Estate Sale

Blonde Car Mirror

Corn Maze Warning

Lane Closure

Texting For Dummies

Clever Weather Billboard

Tree Huggers

Australian Construction Security

India Road Assistance

Cow Walking

Cultural Exchange

Meowzart

Bonus Baby

Strawberry Heart

Water Skiing in Russia

Plumber's Party

Hand Face
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16-Oct-2019