Secret Of A Long Marriage

Lessons learned on a Grand Canyon honeymoon


A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.

“Well, it dates back to our honeymoon,” explained the man.

“We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon by pack mule. We hadn’t gone too far when my wife’s mule stumbled. My wife quietly said, “That’s once.”

We proceeded a little further and the mule stumbled again. Once more my wife quietly said, “That’s twice.” We hadn’t gone a half-mile when the mule stumbled the third time. My wife quietly removed a revolver from her pocket and shot the mule dead.

I started to protest over her treatment of the mule when she looked at me and quietly said, ‘That’s once.’ ”


QuotaBills
Death ends a life, not a relationship. - Jack Lemmon

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. - Groucho Marx

Assumptions are the termites of relationships. - Henry Winkler

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. - Paula Deen

Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near. - Helen Rowland

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once. - Phyllis Diller

The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. - Oscar Wilde

In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - Rita Rudner

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. - Unknown

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

Before you marry keep both eyes open; after marriage shut one. - Jamaican Proverb

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash

Marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever. - Quentin Crisp

Marriage is better than leprosy because it's easier to get rid of. - WC Fields

Every politician should have been born an orphan and remain a bachelor. - Lady Bird Johnson

There's one thing about a late marriage - it doesn't last long. - Unknown

Marriage is too interesting an experiment to be tried only once or twice. - Eva Gabor

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

Marriage is very difficult. It's like a 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle, all sky. - Cathy Ladman

Want to improve your relationships? See love as a verb rather than as a feeling. - Stephen R. Covey

In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person. - Wilbert Donald Gough

Peppering your relationship with a dash of mystery can make it far more palatable. - Khang K. Nguyen

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

Marketers need to build digital relationships and reputation before closing a sale. - Chris Brogan

A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time. - Anne Taylor Fleming

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive. - Oscar Wilde

Love and respect are the most important aspects of parenting, and of all relationships. - Jodie Foster

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. - Mignon McLaughlin

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

As a man in a relationship, you have a simple choice: You can be right or you can be happy. - Ralphie May

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked. - Phyllis Diller

The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash

Marriage is like a beleaguered fortress: those who are outside want to get in, and those inside want to get out. - French Proverb

Relationships are about give and take; not tit-for-tat. If you're keeping score, you'll lose at your own game. - Faydra D. Fields

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the only miracle the Vatican has overlooked. - Bill Cosby

The greatest mistake we humans make in our relationships: we listen half, understand quarter, think zero, and react double. - Unknown

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is. - Milton Berle


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22-Sep-2018