The Rules of Chocolate

Are you eating too slowly?


If you’ve got melted chocolate all over your hands, you’re eating it too slowly.

Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It’ll take the edge off your appetite and you’ll eat less.

A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn’t that handy?

If you can’t eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can’t eat all your chocolate, what’s wrong with you?

If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.

If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don’t they actually counteract each other?

Money talks. Chocolate sings.

Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.

Q. Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous?
A. Because no one wants to quit.

If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated.

Put “eat chocolate” at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you’ll get one thing done.


QuotaBills
Books and chocolate make life bearable. - Unknown

I'm a woman who wants her chocolate. - Jessica Simpson

When coffee dreams, it dreams of chocolate. - Unknown

I am a chocolatarian. I only eat chocolate. - Unknown

I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown

Chocolate is what I love. I have it every day. - Jennifer Hudson

Anything is good if it's made of chocolate. - Jo Brand

When no one understands you, chocolate is there. - Daniel Worona

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

It does seem like the chocolate brings good luck. - Lauren Oliver

In the cookie of life, friends are chocolate chips. - Salman Rushdie

To me, chocolate was the sole reason we on this earth. - Esi Edugyan

If chocolate is the answer, the question is irrelevant. - Kim Knott

It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst

When we don't have the words, chocolate can speak volumes. - Joan Bauer

Coffee and chocolate - the inventor of mocha should be sainted. - Cherise Sinclair

Chocolate is medicinal. I just did another study that confirms it. - Michelle M. Pillow

Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world's perfect food. - Michael Levine

I only eat chocolate for you... so there'll be more of me to love! - Unknown

Some say women are addicted to chocolate. I say we're merely loyal. - Cathy Guisewite

Chocolate is something you take for granted until you don't have any. - Marja McGraw

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt. - Charles M. Schulz

The 12-step chocolate program: Never be more than 12 steps away from chocolate! - Terry Moore

I want to stay curled and cosied and chocolated... forever in my mother's arms. - Sanober Khan

Happiness. Simple as a glass of chocolate or tortuous as the heart. Bitter Sweet. Alive. - Joanne Harris

Happiness. Simple as a glass of chocolate or tortuous as the heart. Bitter. Sweet. Alive. - Joanne Harris

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

Money can't buy happiness. But, it can buy a chocolate, which is pretty much the same thing. - Hanako Ishii

Then she thought bitterly that it would be much easier to resist chocolate if her life were less stressful. - J K Rowling

I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown

A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else... even the fact that I'm on a diet. - Barbara Brooke

When you're stressed, eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is desserts. - Unknown

Put 'eat chocolate' at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done. - Unknown

Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals. - Robert Orben

"Exercise" is such a dirty word in my household that whenever I even think of it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate. - Leonore Fleischer

Whenever I have a spare second, I'm in the kitchen whipping up a batch of cookies. I make a mean batch of chocolate chippers. - Karlie Kloss

My greatest strength is common sense. I'm really a standard brand - like Campbell's tomato soup or Baker's chocolate. - Katharine Hepburn

I'm pretty sure that eating chocolate keeps wrinkles away because I have never seen a 10 year old with a Hershey bar and crows feet. - Amy Neftzger

I'm finally starting to scratch the surface of what women want. And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate. - Mel Gibson

I've got this thing for spicy stuff. Now, if you give me hot chocolate with chili pepper, a book and a bubble bath, I'm a happy girl. - Shiloh Walker


see also   Chocolate  Section
Chocolate Bed
Chocolate Chip Cookies for Engineers & Scientists
Chocolate Couch
Chocolate Easter Eggs
Chocolate Math
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15-Oct-2019