Hot Coffee

Spilling the beans in the office

Coffee with special added flavour


A young clerk’s responsibilities included bringing the judge a hot cup of coffee at the start of every day. Each morning the judge was enraged that the coffee cup arrived two-thirds full. The clerk explained that he had to rush to get the coffee delivered while it was still hot, which caused him to spill much of it along the way.

None of the judge’s yelling and insults produced a full cup of coffee, until he finally threatened to cut the clerk’s pay by one-third if he continued to produce one-third less than the judge wanted.

The next morning he was greeted with a cup of coffee that was full to the brim, and the next morning and the morning after that.

The judge couldn’t resist gloating over his success and smugly complimented the clerk on his new technique.

“Oh, there’s not much to it,” admitted the clerk happily, “I take some coffee in my mouth right outside the coffee room, and spit it back in when I get outside your office.”


QuotaBills
Order is Heaven's first law. - Alexander Pope

A morning without coffee is like sleep. - Unknown

Don't judge folks by their relatives. - Unknown

We judge of man's wisdom by his hope. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Law cannot persuade where it cannot punish. - Thomas Fuller

Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Gravity isn't easy, but it's the law. - Unknown

I'm trusting in the Lord and a good lawyer. - Oliver North

It is not wisdom but authority that makes a law. - Thomas Hobbes

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

The law must be stable, but it must not stand still. - Roscoe Pound

Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke. - Robin Hall

Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. - Voltaire

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers. - William Shakespeare

Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. - Groucho Marx

Stop soft soapin' and trying to deterge the judge! - Archie Bunker

I only drink coffee grown in high altitude rain forests. - Rob Dyrdek

The power of the lawyer is in the uncertainty of the law. - Jeremy Bentham

I think if I were a woman I'd wear coffee as a perfume. - John Van Druten

The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law. - Yiddish Proverb

People hasten to judge in order not to be judged themselves. - Albert Camus

Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee. - Stephanie Piro

Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. - Boethius

Adam was the luckiest man in the world - he had no mother-in-law. - Sholom Aleichem

Tragedy: a busload of lawyers going over a cliff with an empty seat. - Unknown

If you have ten thousand regulations you destroy all respect for the law. - Winston Churchill

I never drink coffee at lunch - I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon. - Ronald Reagan

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

You cannot live without the lawyers, and certainly you cannot die without them. - Joseph H Choate

On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. - Milton Berle

Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. - Steven Wright

My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez

If two friends ask you to judge a dispute, don't accept, because you will lose one friend. - St. Augustine

At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst. - Aristotle

You haven't had enough coffee until you can thread a sewing machine while it's running. - Unknown

In a litigation-happy society, clear agreements often prevent small disagreements form becoming big ones. - Harvey Mackay

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

There's a lot of fake people in the world, but before you judge them, make sure you're not one of them. - Unknown

Whenever men take the law into their own hands, the loser is the law. And when the law loses, freedom languishes. - Robert Kennedy

I have a huge interest in hockey because I grew up in Canada, where it's kind of the law that you love hockey. - Matthew Perry

That old law about "an eye for an eye" leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing. - Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman

What's the first excellence in a lawyer? Tautology. What's the second? Tautology. What's the third? Tautology. - Richard Steele

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted? - George Carlin

What we lawyers want to do is to substitute courts for carnage, dockets for rockets, briefs for bombs, warrants for warheads, mandates for missiles. - George Rhyne


see also   Coffee  &  Judge  Sections
Justice Is Blind
Legal Assistance For All

 

Shot Glasses

Frog Spout Security

Chopper Bicycle

Canadian Suntan

Walkway To Heaven

Groucho Marx and Jimmy Savile

Despicable Shoes

Prayer Conditioning

Lazy People Make Excellent Engineers

Spaghetti Western

Under The Weather

Backpack Barney

My Sweet Potato

Who Needs a Guard Dog?

My Next Life

Mouse Insider

Close Ups

Redneck Camera Phone

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Redneck Cupboard
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

19-May-2019