Hot Coffee

Spilling the beans in the office

Coffee with special added flavour


A young clerk’s responsibilities included bringing the judge a hot cup of coffee at the start of every day. Each morning the judge was enraged that the coffee cup arrived two-thirds full. The clerk explained that he had to rush to get the coffee delivered while it was still hot, which caused him to spill much of it along the way.

None of the judge’s yelling and insults produced a full cup of coffee, until he finally threatened to cut the clerk’s pay by one-third if he continued to produce one-third less than the judge wanted.

The next morning he was greeted with a cup of coffee that was full to the brim, and the next morning and the morning after that.

The judge couldn’t resist gloating over his success and smugly complimented the clerk on his new technique.

“Oh, there’s not much to it,” admitted the clerk happily, “I take some coffee in my mouth right outside the coffee room, and spit it back in when I get outside your office.”


QuotaBills
Necessity hath no law. - Oliver Cromwell

A lawsuit helps keep lawyers clothed. - Unknown

The good lawyer is the great salesman. - Janet Reno

A morning without coffee is like sleep. - Unknown

Justice is incidental to law and order. - J Edgar Hoover

Law is order, and good law is good order. - Aristotle

A flagrant violation of international law. - Unknown

Law cannot persuade where it cannot punish. - Thomas Fuller

Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Our ancestors ... were laborers, not lawyers. - Thomas Jefferson

Gravity isn't easy, but it's the law. - Unknown

Do not judge, and you will never be mistaken. - Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Keep skunks, bankers and lawyers at a distance. - Unknown

Judge, could I, waddya call, encroach the bench? - Archie Bunker

Lawyers are men who hire out their words and anger. - Martial

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. - Voltaire

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers. - William Shakespeare

The power of the lawyer is in the uncertainty of the law. - Jeremy Bentham

Life without books, chocolate and coffee is just useless. - Nadun Lokuliyanage

I've never been in love. I've always been a lawyer. - Unknown

You shall judge a man by his foes as well as by his friends. - Joseph Conrad

A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless it is paid for. - Unknown

Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. - Boethius

There is no grievance that is a fit object of redress by mob law. - Abraham Lincoln

I would uphold the law if for no other reason but to protect myself. - Thomas More

Do not judge a man until you have walked two moons in his moccasins. - Native American Proverb

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo

What would life be without coffee? But then, what is it even with coffee? - King Louis XV

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields

I never drink coffee at lunch - I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon. - Ronald Reagan

The only stable state is the one in which all men are equal before the law. - Aristotle

I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. - Henny Youngman

Humour is based on a modicum of truth. Ever heard a joe-k about a father-in-law? - Dick Clark

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. - Les Dawson

If the laws could speak for themselves, they would complain of the lawyers in the first place. - George Savile

The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges. - Anatole France

I don't want a lawyer to tell me what I cannot do. I hire one to tell me how to do what I want to do. - J P Morgan

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

I have a huge interest in hockey because I grew up in Canada, where it's kind of the law that you love hockey. - Matthew Perry

No oppression is so heavy or lasting as that which is inflicted by the perversion and exorbitance of legal authority. - Joseph Addison

That old law about "an eye for an eye" leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing. - Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.

When the law no longer protects you from the corrupt, but protects the corrupt from you, you know your nation is doomed. - Ayn Rand

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman

The judge asked, "What do you plead?" I said, "Insanity, your honour, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?" - Steven Wright

What we lawyers want to do is to substitute courts for carnage, dockets for rockets, briefs for bombs, warrants for warheads, mandates for missiles. - George Rhyne

There is only one categorical imperative: Act only according to that maxim by which you can at the same time will that it should become universal law. - Immanuel Kant

Blind dates are treacherous. You don't know who this person is. You wonder, "Should I call my grandma during coffee to get out of this?" - Alan Alda


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17-Sep-2019