Forgetful Old Ladies

When the memory fails


Three old ladies are sitting in a diner, chatting about various things. One lady says, “You know, I’m getting really forgetful. This morning, I was standing at the top of the stairs, and I couldn’t remember whether I had just come up or was about to go down.”

The second lady says, “You think that’s bad? The other day, I was sitting on the edge of my bed, and I couldn’t remember whether I was going to bed or had just woken up!”

The third lady smiles smugly. “Well, my memory’s just as good as it’s always been, knock on wood.” She raps the table. With a startled look on her face, she asks, “Who’s there?”


QuotaBills
Women and elephants never forget. - Dorothy Parker

You live and learn, then die and forget it all. - Noel Coward

Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet. - Kin Hubbard

It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live. - J K Rowling

Those who forget their past are destined to repeat it. - Robert A. Heinlein

Never forget what a person says to you when they are angry. - Henry Ward Beecher

I never deny.
I never contradict.
I sometimes forget. - Benjamin Disraeli

The positive side to memory loss: you meet new people every day. - Unknown

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

The future you shall know when it has come; before then forget it. - Aeschylus

Elected leaders who forget how they got there won't the next time. - Malcolm Forbes

One must have a good memory to be able to keep the promises one makes. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. - E. Joseph Cossman

Ultimately it is persistence that will pay off; forget about perfection. - Joe Segal

He who does not remember the past is condemned to forget where he parked. - David Rudnitsky

Those who can't forget are worse off than those who can't remember. - Unknown

Obscenity is whatever happens to shock some elderly and ignorant magistrate. - Bertrand Russell

I have a memory like an elephant. I remember every elephant I've ever met. - Herb Caen

He is indebted to his memory for his jests and to his imagination for his facts. - Richard Brinsley Sheridan

Never forget that it is not a pneumonia, but a pneumonic man who is your patient. - William Withey Gull

They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel. - Carl W. Buechner

Everybody talks about rock these days; the problem is they forget about the roll. - Keith Richards

It's surprising how much of memory is built around things unnoticed at the time. - Barbara Kingsolver

I am not so lost in lexicography as to forget that words are the daughters of earth. - Samuel Johnson

The first rule is not to lose money. The second rule is not to forget the first rule. - Warren Buffet

People advising others often forget that the same advice applies to their life as well. - Anuj Somany

No memory of having starred atones for later disregard, or keeps the end from being hard. - Robert Frost

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers

There's an old saying about those who forget history. I don't remember it, but it's good. - Stephen Colbert

The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive, but do not forget. - Thomas Szasz

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

Sometimes I feel like a normal person. Sometimes I forget I'm on parole, that I'm not really free. - Jennifer Lane

I'd hate to be an alcoholic with Alzheimer's. Imagine needing a drink and forgetting where you put it. - George Carlin

I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown

A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else... even the fact that I'm on a diet. - Barbara Brooke

Please promise me. If and when the day comes that I may forget who you are, please promise that you won't forget that I am still me. - Mara Botonis

Love easily confuses us because it is always in flux between illusion and substance, between memory and wish, between contentment and need. - Tom Robbins

You need the kind of objectivity that makes you forget everything you've heard, clear the table, and do a factual study like a scientist would. - Steve Wozniak


see also   Aging  &  Stress   Sections
Camping For Seniors
Dementia Relations
Dreams Come True
Good Morning Babushka
Grandma Not Welcome
Grandma’s Beautiful Pies
Grandma Was Here
Granny Does Windows Too

 

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23-Sep-2019