Future Corrections Officer

Where playground security takes bottom priority


Future Corrections Officer

QuotaBills
Thank God kids never mean well. - Lily Tomlin

Fair speech may hide a foul heart. - JRR Tolkien

The height of cleverness is to conceal it. - Duc de la Rochefoucauld

Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare. - Ed Asner

Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place. - Zora Neale Hurston

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

You know what's cool? My kids think I'm ordinary. - Michael J. Fox

If at first you do succeed, try to hide your astonishment. - Harry Banks

Kids are life's only guaranteed bona fide upside surprise. - Jack Nicholson

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

It is a great ability to be able to conceal one's ability. - Duc de La Rochefoucauld

We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up. - Christopher Morley

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

Try as you may to hide, you can never contain the beauty of your Soul. - Cheryl lee Harnish

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Silence is golden unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious. - Unknown

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

All kids need is a little help, a little hope, and somebody who believes in them. - Earvin "Magic" Johnson

The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids. - Jill Bensley

This is good news... If the Persians hide the sun, we shall do battle in the shade. - Herodotus

Hopefully, kids realize you can do anything you want. Skateboarding can be that gateway. - Ryan Sheckler

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like. - Phyllis Diller

There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend. - Jack Nicholson

There is one difference between a tax collector and a taxidermist - the taxidermist leaves the hide. - Mortimer Caplan

When you hide the bodies of the problems, that's how you eventually amass skeletons in your closet. - Faydra D. Fields

No matter how long we've been together Edith, you still, as the kids say, "turn me over." - Archie Bunker

A woman, especially if she has the misfortune of knowing anything, should conceal it as well as she can. - Jane Austen

Every boy needs a role model that he can be proud of and talk about to the other kids in the playground. - Athol Fugard

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term. - Mark Twain

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. - Jarod Kintz

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the bogeyman or Michael Jackson. - Bart Simpson

When it comes to hockey, it's been in my blood since I was 3 or 4 years old. I love coaching the kids, especially at that level. - Mario Lemieux

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to hell? - Homer Simpson

Distinguished ancestors shed a powerful light on their descendants, and forbid the concealment either of their merits or of their demerits. - Gaius S. Crispus

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller


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13-Dec-2017