Either The Cat or Husband Goes

When one of them will go to a good home



Free To Good Home - Either the cat or husband goes

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A meowing cat catches no mice. - Yiddish proverb

Inequality of knowledge is the key to a sale. - Neil O Gustafson

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer. - Joan Rivers

I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist. - Tammy Faye Bakker

A deaf husband and a blind wife make the best couple. - French Proverb

Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near. - Helen Rowland

My husband is a general's chauffeur somewhere in France. - Lillie Langtry

Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat. - P.J. O'Rourke

I spent seven hours in a beauty shop... and that was for the estimate. - Phyllis Diller

When rats infest the palace, a lame cat is better than the swiftest horse. - Chinese Proverb

Someone told me that each equation I included in the book would halve the sales. - Stephen Hawking

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. - Rodney Dangerfield

If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man, but deteriorate the cat. - Mark Twain

Sleep is like my cat. I can call him by his name, but he still won't come to me. - Shane Koyczan

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look. - Mia Farrow

The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it. - Doug Larson

Without my Vulcan cat suit, Frankenstein wig and pointed ears, I don't get recognized. - Jolene Blalock

Always the cat remains a little beyond the limits we try to set for him in our blind folly. - Andre Norton

A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. - Charles Darwin

If Hillary Clinton can't satisfy her husband what makes her think she can satisfy America. - Donald Trump

I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap? - Phyllis Diller

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. - Mark Twain

I went to a garage sale. "How much for the garage?" "It's not for sale." - Steven Wright

Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love, though I'd stepped in it a few times. - Rita Rudner

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. - Groucho Marx

Everything is for sale in Hollywood; the fairy tale, the costume, the pumpkin, the footman and the mice. - Amanda Eliasch

Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they are on the same side. - Zig Ziglar

I will be deafer than the blue-eyed cat, And thrice as blind as any noonday owl, To holy virgins in their ecstasies. - Lord Alfred Tennyson

A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded, "Take me to the Canaries." - Bob Monkhouse

The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

I don't sit around thinking that I'd like to have another husband; only another man would make me think that way. - Lauren Bacall

My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already. - Wendy Liebman

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

A husband is a guy who tells you when you’ve got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick. - Ogden Nash

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots. - Hoosier Farmer

I hate smart sales clerks. I said to one, "What do you have in lingerie?" She says, "More than you'll ever have!" - Phyllis Diller

Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer

When I hear of an 'equity' in a case like this, I am reminded of a blind man in a dark room - looking for a black cat - which isn't there. - Charles Bowen


see also   Cat,  Marriage  &  Shopping  Sections
Husband Day Care Center
Husband Creche
Husband Makes Lunch
Husband of the Year
Husband Mart
Man of the Year Finalists
Names of the Colours
National Husband Care Program
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20-Nov-2017