Bear Praise

Survival kit for bears


Jack loved to hunt. Every winter he went out with his friends on the weekends looking for bear. One weekend, he couldn’t find a friend to go with, so he went out into the woods himself.

In the middle of a forest, he was taking a break when suddenly he was confronted by the largest, meanest looking bear he had ever seen. In his fear, all attempts to shoot the bear were unsuccessful.

Finally, he turned and ran as fast as he could in a vain attempt to outrun the bear. Jack ran and ran and ran, until he ended up at the edge of a very steep cliff. His hopes were dim.

Seeing no way out of his predicament, and with the bear closing in rather quickly, Jack got down on his knees, opened his arms, and exclaimed, “Dear Lord! Please give this bear some *religion*!”

The skies darkened and there was lightning in the air. Just a few feet short of Jack, the bear came to an abrupt stop, and glanced around, somewhat confused. He seemed to have become very calm and friendly...

Suddenly, the bear looked up into the sky, put his paws together, bent his head and said, “Thank you, Lord, for the food I am about to receive.”


QuotaBills
damn with faint praise - Alexander Pope

The best way to get praise is to die. - Italian Proverb

Human kind cannot bear very much reality. - T S Eliot

Praise the ripe field, not the green corn. - Unknown

I will praise any man that will praise me. - William Shakespeare

My parents put a live teddy bear in my crib. - Woody Allen

Survival is a major contributor to longevity. - Unknown

A puff of wind and popular praise weigh the same. - English Proverb

Humor is one of the best ingredients of survival. - Aung San Suu Kyi

I'd rather write about polar bears than people. - Mary Oliver

A classic is a book which people praise and don't read. - Mark Twain

We come not to mourn our dead soldiers, but to praise them. - Francis A Walker

Praise is the only gift for which people are really grateful. - Marguerite

The measure of a man is the way he bears up under misfortune. - Plutarch

It is simpler and easier to flatter people than to praise them. - Jean Paul Richter

For all that has been - thanks.
For all that will be - yes. - Dag Hammarskjold

Sandwich every bit of criticism between two heavy layers of praise. - Mary Kay Ash

It is not clear that intelligence has any long-term survival value. - Stephen Hawking

Nothing happens to anybody which he is not fitted by nature to bear. - Marcus Aurelius

I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

The silence of a man who loves to praise is a censure sufficiently severe. - Charlotte Lennox

Thanks to this man I've gone from over-the-counter to over-the-barrel. - Unknown

Wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving. - Unknown

The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear. - Josh Billins

The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate. - Oprah Winfrey

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except for bears. Bears will kill you. - Unknown

So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence. - Bertrand Russell

Thanks you for being a part of my life, whether you were a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime. - Unknown

A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows. - Doug Larson

The ideal man bears the accidents of life with dignity and grace, making the best of circumstances. - Aristotle

A word of encouragement during failure is worth more than a dictionary of praise following success. - Unknown

You can't let praise or criticism get to you. It's a weakness to get caught up in either one. - John Wooden

Your majesty, I thank you from the bottom of my heart, and Madame Houde thanks you from her bottom too. - Camillein Houde

Let us be of good cheer, remembering that the misfortunes hardest to bear are those that will never happen. - James Russell Lowell

We are all motivated by a keen desire for praise, and the better a man is, the more he is inspired to glory. - Cicero

Drunk Man: "I can't bear fools."
Dorothy Parker: "Apparently your mother could." - Dorothy Parker

We deem those happy who, from the experience of life, have learned to bear its ills, without being overcome by them. - Juvenal

So long as men praise you, you can only be sure that you are not yet on your own true path but on someone else's. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise. - Paula Poundstone

If you think that praise is due, now's the time to show it, 'cause a man can't read his tombstone when he's dead. - Unknown


see also   Bear  &  Safety   Sections
Bear Pinata
Bear Print
Bear Protection
Canadian Food Chain
Canadian High Five
Golf Gimme
Grizzly Bear Chair
I Found A Bear Cub!
Russian Car Pool
Salmon Fight

 

Cowboy Bubble Bath

Trunk Load

Centennial Puff

Don't Be A Stick In The Mud

Redneck Hitch Attachment

Texas Rims

Window Fall Repair

Louvre Paintings

Parking Spot For Women

Generations Past And Present

Jumping The Gun

New Speed Trap

Window Cleaning in New York

Welcome Beer Mat

Mr. Dressup II
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22-Sep-2019