Bear Praise

Survival kit for bears


Jack loved to hunt. Every winter he went out with his friends on the weekends looking for bear. One weekend, he couldn’t find a friend to go with, so he went out into the woods himself.

In the middle of a forest, he was taking a break when suddenly he was confronted by the largest, meanest looking bear he had ever seen. In his fear, all attempts to shoot the bear were unsuccessful.

Finally, he turned and ran as fast as he could in a vain attempt to outrun the bear. Jack ran and ran and ran, until he ended up at the edge of a very steep cliff. His hopes were dim.

Seeing no way out of his predicament, and with the bear closing in rather quickly, Jack got down on his knees, opened his arms, and exclaimed, “Dear Lord! Please give this bear some *religion*!”

The skies darkened and there was lightning in the air. Just a few feet short of Jack, the bear came to an abrupt stop, and glanced around, somewhat confused. He seemed to have become very calm and friendly...

Suddenly, the bear looked up into the sky, put his paws together, bent his head and said, “Thank you, Lord, for the food I am about to receive.”


QuotaBills
damn with faint praise - Alexander Pope

Human kind cannot bear very much reality. - T S Eliot

Praise the ripe field, not the green corn. - Unknown

I will praise any man that will praise me. - William Shakespeare

In doing what we ought we deserve no praise. - St. Augustine

Survival is a major contributor to longevity. - Unknown

A puff of wind and popular praise weigh the same. - English Proverb

Thanks, Darth Obvious. Or is it Emperor Palpable? - Chuck Wendig

Every survival kit should include a sense of humor. - Unknown

People ask for criticism, but they only want praise. - W Somerset Maugham

No duty is more urgent than that of returning thanks. - St. Ambrose

It is more difficult to praise rightly than to blame. - Thomas Fuller

I bear no grudges. I have a mind that retains nothing. - Bette Midler

Praise is the only gift for which people are really grateful. - Marguerite

For all that has been - thanks.
For all that will be - yes. - Dag Hammarskjold

It has yet to be proven that intelligence has any survival value. - Arthur C. Clarke

We take for granted the things that we should be giving thanks for. - Unknown

I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

The silence of a man who loves to praise is a censure sufficiently severe. - Charlotte Lennox

Thanks to this man I've gone from over-the-counter to over-the-barrel. - Unknown

Wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving. - Unknown

Bulls and bears aren't responsible for as many stock losses as bum steers. - Olin Miller

It's not the bulls or the bears you need to avoid, it's the bum steers. - Chuck Hillis

To be blind is not miserable; not to be able to bear blindness, that is miserable. - John Milton

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except for bears. Bears will kill you. - Unknown

So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence. - Bertrand Russell

Thanks you for being a part of my life, whether you were a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime. - Unknown

Praise the Lord. Blessed is the man who fears the Lord, who finds great delight in his commands. - Bible

A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows. - Doug Larson

A word of encouragement during failure is worth more than a dictionary of praise following success. - Unknown

You can't let praise or criticism get to you. It's a weakness to get caught up in either one. - John Wooden

My favorite animal is a polar bear. They're going extinct, and I really don't want that to happen. - Quvenzhane Wallis

Let us be of good cheer, remembering that the misfortunes hardest to bear are those that will never happen. - James Russell Lowell

We are all motivated by a keen desire for praise, and the better a man is, the more he is inspired to glory. - Cicero

Even if my strength should fail, my daring will win me praise: in might enterprises even the will to succeed is enough. - Propertius

Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. - I Thessalonians 5:16-18

If you think that praise is due, now's the time to show it, 'cause a man can't read his tombstone when he's dead. - Unknown

Nature will bear the closest inspection. She invites us to lay our eye level with her smallest leaf, and take an insect view of its plain. - Henry David Thoreau

The chief ingredients in the composition of those qualities that gain esteem and praise, are good nature, truth, good sense, and good breeding. - Joseph Addison

If you think that nobility consists of having sixteen ancestors rather than merit, great Prince, then you may - and you may also praise or condemn me. - Franz Grillparzer


see also   Bear  &  Safety   Sections
Bear Pinata
Bear Print
Bear Protection
Canadian Food Chain
Canadian High Five
Golf Gimme
Grizzly Bear Chair
I Found A Bear Cub!
Russian Car Pool
Salmon Fight

 

Stealth Cell Phone Tower

Holes of the World

Sunken Bed

Australian Wildfire Survivor

Rat Toys

Radish Camouflage

Apple Art

Cake Finders

Shot Glasses

Frog Spout Security

Chopper Bicycle

Canadian Suntan

Walkway To Heaven

Groucho Marx and Jimmy Savile

Despicable Shoes
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

20-May-2019