Amish Elevator View

What goes up “better” come down

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, “What is this, Father?”
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, “Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life - I don’t know what it is.”

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24-year-old blonde woman stepped out.

The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, “Go get your mother.”

QuotaBills
Hell hath no fury like a woman's corns. - Archie Bunker

Few maxims are true from every point of view. - Marquis de Lac de Clapiers Vauvenargue

As Unto The Bow The Cord Is, So Unto The Man Is Woman - Longfellow

The woman cries before the wedding and the man after. - Polish Proverb

Temptation is a woman's weapon and man's excuse. - H L Mencken

A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears. - Woodrow Wyatt

The only place men want depth in a woman is in her decolletage. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Honesty is probably the sexiest thing a man can give to a woman. - Debra Messing

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

It is much easier to take care of a sackful of fleas than a woman. - German Proverb

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. - Unknown

Every woman dreams of her own political career and her own place in life. - Raisa M. Gorbachev

Blessed be Thou, our God and Lord of Hosts, who has not created me a woman. - Jewish Prayer

I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent. - Erma Bombeck

Beauty is the first present nature gives to a woman and the first it takes away. - Fay Weldon

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

A woman will flirt with anybody in the world as long as other people are looking on. - Oscar Wilde

The Book of Life begins with a man and woman in a garden, and it ends with Revelations. - Oscar Wilde

I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate. - Phyllis Diller

You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, which doesn't say much for you. - Groucho Marx

One of the few articles of clothing that a man won't try to remove from a woman is an apron. - Marilyn Vos Savant

The elevator to success is out of order. You'll have to use the stairs... one step at a time. - Joe Girard

I would venture to guess that Anon, who wrote so many poems without signing them, was often a woman. - Virginia Woolf

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard for the night, she can still survive. - WC Fields

A woman, especially if she has the misfortune of knowing anything, should conceal it as well as she can. - Jane Austen

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart

No matter how plain a woman may be, if truth and honesty are written across her face, she will be beautiful. - Eleanor Roosevelt

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with the word 'Guess' on it. I said, "Thyroid problem?" - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Never try to impress a woman because if you do, you'll have to keep up that standard the rest of your life. - WC Fields

For twenty-four years I've been in love with the same woman. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me. - Henny Youngman

Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while, so that we can see life with a clearer view again. - Alex Tan

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. - Sam Levenson

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married? - Barbara Streisand

Hosting the Oscars is much like making love to a woman. It's something I only get to do when Billy Crystal is out of town. - Steve Martin

Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots. - Hoosier Farmer

And why should it not be terrifying? A little terror, in my view, is good for the soul, when it is terror in the face of a noble object. - Robertson Davies

Every man and woman is born into the world to do something unique and distinctive, and if he or she does not do it, it will never be done. - Benjamin E. Mays

Nature will bear the closest inspection. She invites us to lay our eye level with her smallest leaf, and take an insect view of its plain. - Henry David Thoreau

A beautiful woman moved in next door. So I went over and returned a cup of sugar. "You didn't borrow this." "I will." - Steven Wright

A woman with confidence is hypnotic. A smile is mesmerizing. Presence, openness, a sense of humor - these are all things that make a woman attractive. - Jessica Ortner


see also   Amish & Mennonite   Section
Amish 3 Horsepower Country Camper
Amish Airlines – Maiden Voyage
Amish Centerfold
Amish Friends
Amish Man’s Occupation
Amish Mechanical Problems
Amish Prom Limo
Amish Smart Car
Looking For Your Wife?

 

Cheating Husband

Stuck On High Gear

Bottom Blast Car Wash

Yo Mama Bin Shopping

Gangsta

Helmet Full Of Hair

Air Conditioner Repair

Redneck Towing

Walking His Fresh Food Pet

Japanese Tea Bath

Redneck Daycare

Hedge Hunter

Pilot Prop Job

Front To Side View

Moses' USB Tablets
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23-Sep-2019