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WorldRecord1
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Yo Mama
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joe-ks.com
Largest
Source of Internet Humour!
“My
wild oats have turned to shredded wheat.”
“Seen
it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.”
“Don't
worry about avoiding temptation - as you grow older, it will avoid you.”
“By
the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.”
“It's
hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.”
“Four-poster
bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.”
“Have
several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.”
“At
my age, flowers scare me.”
“If
you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that
age.”
“Nice
to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.”
“Age
is not an interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live
long enough.”
“Aging
is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.”
“I'm
at an age when my back goes out more than I do.”
“That's
the formaldehyde. That's why Granny's so well-preserved.”
“Old
age is no place for sissies.”
“Age
is something that doesn’t matter unless you are a cheese.”
“If
I had to live my life again, I’d make the same mistakes, only sooner.”
“When
putting it into memory, remember where you put it.”
“The
older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.”
“Inside
every older lady is a younger lady - wondering what the hell happened.”
“The
hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.”
“Age:
That which makes wine worth more and women less.”
Betcha can't read fast enough for this Harvard test!
“Complaints
About NBA Referees Growing Ugly”
Age is nothing at all… unless you are a cheese.
I wear glasses, so I can look for things I keep losing.
I’m at the age where my back goes out more than I do.
My mother always used to say, “The older you get, the better you get. Unless
you’re a banana.”
One of the best parts of growing older? You can flirt all you like since you’ve
become harmless.
Retirement is like a long vacation in Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it to the
fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.
The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible.
“To
me, old age is always 15 years older than I am.”
What's a computer sign of old age?
Marathon Runner: A person who is happy to be over the hill.
Vacation: When older people find out they are not as young as they feel.
Growing Old
Where did King Midas live after he retired?
Damage: How older people cuss their many years.
Metallic Age: The age at which one finds Gold in one's teeth, silver in one's
hair, and lead in one's pants.
Retirement: The time of life when you stop lying about your age and start lying
about the house.
Wanderbra
Wicked: Anything the old cannot enjoy.
One surefire way to keep living to be one hundred is to keep breathing.
My Birth Certificate is so old, it's written in Roman Numerals.
KIPPERS: Kids In Parents' Pockets Eroding Retirement Savings
Why are a grandfather's teeth like the stars?
Eating plenty of fruit can help you live to a ripe old age.
Life is a test and I didn't take very good notes.
Theory that chocolate slows down the aging process...
A man is not old as long as he is seeking something.
To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am.
Good friends, like wine, get better with age.
Wine improves with age. I improve with wine.
I'm not aging, I'm marinating.
What do you call a 100-year-old cheerleader?
(click on the thumbnail images below to
expand to full size)
Dollar Drop

Best Fairy Tale

When You Gotta Go

Redneck Garage

Tired Truck

Reading Chair

Alzheimer's Wing

Dust Bytes for Dust Mites

Pill Man

Chinese Shoelusion

Real Man's Barbecue

Sushi Earrings

Wheelchair Priorities

Einstein or Monroe?

Looka But Don't Touch

Redneck Trophy Fish

'How Far Apart' Bed

My Ex-Wife, The Pilot

Moldy Bible

Two Face

Thongthing Special

Pacman Skeleton

Senior Wheelies

Geek Gravestone

Ascot Fashion Statement

Gut Check

The Ass Family

Camouflage Face

Expired Parking

Woman's Remote

Mink Love

Handicap Helper

Signs of Old Age

Rubik's Head

Same Mistake

Clown Down

Put On A Happy Face

Barry Bonds Rookie Card

Spot the K-Mart Shopper

Gopher's Phone Booth

Coffin Dragster

Swimming Without Getting Your
Hair Wet

Health Plug

Camouflage Couch

Baby Suit

Celebrity Match

Formula One Wheelchair

Revenue Canada Simplified 2007
Tax Form

Granny Does Windows Too

Senior Protesters

Boy Scout Scooter

Keyboard Technology - Old Meets
New

Police ReTireMeant

Ingrown Motorcycle

Hillbilly Tooth Fairy

All Weather Runner

Good To The Last Drop

Time To Hang Up The Thong

Fencing Down Under

Pianist's Challenge

Ancient Politician

Dear Crossing

4 Stages Of Life

Tired Backhoe

New Wine for Seniors - Anti-Diuretic Hybrid Grape?

End Of The Line
When you know you can't go any further in life...

Special Present For Grandpa
... just before Little Johnny went to bed for the rest of
his life...

It's Never Too Late, Harley

It's Safe To Come Out Now, Honey
1-800-PILLCASH
1907 to 2007: Century of Change
1923 Leaders and Losers
1954 Prom Queen
1957 Comments
2003: Changing Priorities Ahead
2005 British Royal Flush Wedding
2005 Marriage Wisdom
2006 Hooters Calendar
2007 Hooters Calendar
2008 Hooters Calendar

20,000 Leagues Under The Sea - the Real Story
4 Stages Of Life
40th
Wedding Anniversary Wish
401K Plan - Privatizing Social Security
5 Dollars of Gas
50th Anniversary - Electrifying Event!
50th Anniversary Gift of Travel
6 Candy Bars At A Time
6-Year-Old’s Wedding Plans
65 And Pregnant
7 Dwarfs of Menopause
911 Emergency
A Day of Mourning
A Farmer’s Creed

A Free Ride: $10 is $10!
Aerobics Class For Seniors
Age Activated Attention Deficit
Disorder
Ageless Joe-ks
Aging Alphabet
Aging Classmates
Aging Disgracefully
(3.2M)

Aging News
Aging Rock Music
Aging
Without Exercise
All Weather Runner
Almond Treats For The Bus Driver
Alzheimer's Wing

Amish Friends
An Old Farmer's Advice
Ancient Politician
Animal Life Spans
Antique Regifting
Apathetic Ignorance
Are They Hormone or Hermoan Pills?
Are You OLD?
Arguing With Your Wife
Arkansas Cure For Terminal Illness
As You Slide Down The Banister Of Life
ASCII Art -
Illusions
Ascot Fashion Statement
The Ass Family
Asylum Tests
Baby Suit
Baby's First Exam
Balanced Food Delivery
Barb-ed Wire Relationship
Barry Bonds Rookie Card
Baseball in Heaven
B.C. –
Bathroom Commode or Baptist Church?
Beard and Moustache Championship
Beauty That's Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow
Bedside
Non-Assistance
Bedtime Bliss
Beer Diet
Before Fast Food Came Slow Food
Beginning Piano Lessons
Benefits of Aging in Saskatchewan
Best Diet Ever
Best Fairy Tale

Best Years of a Woman's Life
Bike Chaser
Birding Skills 101
Birth Control Pills For Grandma
The Blame Game
Bored
Bounced Check

Bowl Of Chili
Boy Scout Scooter
Bridge Shin Players
Bring Me A Beer
(1.4M)

Broken Lawn Mower – Husband Chores
Building Your Shoulder Muscles – Secret Weightlifting Program
Buy Her Something
Electric
Cake Glue
Calling in Sick - Snow Job for the Boss
Camouflage Couch
Camouflage Face
Can You Take It With You When You Die?
Canada's World War II Invasion of Norway?
Canadian Banknotes - Extreme Makeover For Toonie
Canadian Health Care
Canadian Medical Shaky Study
Canadian North Cookbook
Canadian Snowbirds Moving To or From Florida?
Car For Every Age
Career Path Decisions
Casket Car
Cat Stroke

Cat Woman & Rat Man
CCR Misheard Lyrics
(4.5M)

Celebrity Match
Cherokee Chief Wisdom
Chief of the Computer Indians
Children
Chili Cheater - 2003 Championship Chili Cook-Off
Chinese Graveyard Rice
Chinese Shoelusion

Chocolate Math for 2008

Christmas Baby
Christmas Letter To God
Church
Hymns by Word Association
Citibank Late Fees

Clean As
Cold Water
Clown Down
Coach Inspiring Teamwork
Coffee
Goes Better With Soldiers!
Coffin Dragster
Coke Advertising Slogans
Cold Outhouse
The Computer Age
The Computer Swallowed Grandma
Corvette Tests to Raise The Bar
Couch Throne
Counting Their Blessings
Covers Keep Coming Off?
Cowboy’s Secret to Living a Long Life
Credit Corpsoration
Crisco
Crochet Doll Collection

Cruise Hat
Cure For Fingernail
Biting
Daddy's Trick
Dating After 60
Day Of Leisure
Dear Crossing
Death By Chocolate
Deceased Traits
Deep Thoughts
Depression Millionaire
Designated Driver

Did She Say Yes?
Difference Between Arthritis, Rheumatism and Gout
Differences Between Male and
Female
Disease Prevention for Church Organists
Divorce Cake
Divorce Is Grand
DNA Genes
'Do It' Professional Trades Guide
Do You Drive A Cataract?
Doctor’s Report on Present Deliverer’s Syndrome
Dollar Drop

Don't Forget Her Special Day
(750k)
Don't Let Aging Get You Down
Don't Mess With Speeding Old Ladies
Donut Wisdom
Dreaded Furniture Disease
Dress Code For Older Folks
Dust Bytes for Dust Mites

Dusty Underwear
Dying Prohibited in France
Dynamite Cure For Emptying The Outhouse
Dying Pope’s Last Request
Early Reservations
Eggsellent Friends
Einstein or Monroe?

Elderly Pre-Nups
Email Gone Astray - Meeting Your Wife Earlier Than Expected?
Encyclopedia For Sale - Just Married
End Of The Line
Ethel's Public Appearance: Kettle Calling The Pot Black?
Everybody, Somebody, Anybody & Nobody

Evolution of
Authority
Evolution Of Man
Exact Age of Dinosaur Bones
Exercise Logic
Excuses For Not
Exercising
Expired Marriage
Expired Parking
Eye Examination Chart
False Alarm @ the Senior Citizens Home
Family Reunion
Farmer's Daughter
(2.6M)
Farmer's Pond Advice for Youngsters
Fast Police Response

"Favorite Things" Revised For
Retired People
Feeling Retired?
Fencing Down Under
Fire Department to the Rescue
‘First’ Class Puns
First Divorce Related To
Sept. 11th Terrorist Attacks
First Flight Nerves
Five Word Obituary
Florida's Retired Bikers
Florida Squirrel
The Flour Sack
Flower Show
Food For Grief and |