A belief is not merely an idea the mind possesses, it is an idea that possesses the mind. Robert Oxton Bolt

A book is like a garden carried in the pocket.

A bore is a person who lights up the room simply by leaving it. L. J. Peter

A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.

A compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he has the biggest piece. Ludwig Erhard

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history – with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. Mitch Ratcliffe

A constant struggle, a ceaseless battle to bring success from inhospitable surroundings, is the price of all great achievements. Orison Swett Marden

A designer knows that he has achieved perfection not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away. Antoine de St-Expurey

A failure is a man who has blundered but is not able to cash in on the experience. Elbert Hubbard

A good scapegoat is nearly as welcome as a solution to the problem.

A good scare is worth more to a man than good advice. Edgar Watson Howe

A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have. Thomas Jefferson

A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. George Bernard Shaw

A great athlete does not come from muscle, speed, and skill, but from the mind first. Dan E. Welker

A great many people seem to end up over the hill without ever having actually climbed it.

A great many people think that polysyllables are a sign of intelligence. Barbara Walters

A great nation deserves great art. Art Delage

A handful of patience is worth more than a bushel of brains. Dutch Proverb

A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money. G. Gordon Liddy

A long dispute means both parties are wrong. Voltaire

A lot of good could be accomplished in this world if nobody cared who got the credit.

A man can fail many times, but he isn't a failure until he begins to blame someone else. John Burroughs

A man of character does not expect to be liked by everyone, nor does he worry about being liked by anyone.

A man is not old as long as he is seeking something. Jean Rostand

A man travels the world over in search of what he needs and returns home to find it. George Moore

A man's true height is determined by his thoughts and actions.

A modern computer is an electronic wonder that performs complex mathematical calculations and intricate accounting tabulations in one ten-thousandth of a second – and then mails out statements ten days later. Paul Sweeney

A patient man will ultimately succeed.

A peacock that rests on his feathers is just another turkey. Dolly Parton

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.  Dave Barry

A person has to be busy to stay alive. Maxwell Anderson

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

A picture is worth a thousand words, but try saying that with a picture.

A racehorse is an animal that can take several thousand people for a ride at the same time. Marjorie Johnson

A room without books is as a body without a soul. Sir John Lubbock

A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the first word you thought of. Burt Bacharach

A teacher affects eternity. Henry B. Adams

A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down. Arnold H. Glasgow

A wise man gets more use from his enemies than a fool from his friends. Baltasar Gracian

Accept the challenges, so that you may feel the exhilaration of victory. General George S. Patton

According to Modern Bride magazine, the average bride spends 150 hours planning her wedding. The average groom spends 150 hours going, “Yeah, sounds good.” Jay Leno

Adventure is the champagne of life. G. K. Chesterton

Adversity is the first path to truth. Lord Byron

Adversity tests a man's true character.

Age is nothing at all… unless you are a cheese. Billie Burke

All change is not growth; all movement is not forward. Ellen Glasgow

All mothers have intuition. The great ones have radar. Cathy Guisewite

All the fun is locking horns with impossibilities. Claes Oldenburg

All things are difficult before they are easy.

All you have to do is make something illegal and everybody wants it.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

Ambition is not a vice of little people. Michel de Montaigne

An angry man is again angry with himself when he returns to reason. Publilius Syrus

An apology is the best way to have the last word.

An error doesn't become a mistake until you refuse to correct it. Orlando A. Battista

An eye for an eye only leads to more blindness. Margaret Atwood

An individual's fate is not a matter of chance, but a matter of choice.

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves. Bill Vaughn

An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory. Friedrich Engels

Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly.

Anger blows out the candle of the mind. R. G. Ingersoll

Anger punishes itself.

Another good thing about telling the truth is that you don't have to remember what you said.

Appropriate rules cultivate a disciplined character.  Bill Welker

As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.  Buddy Hackett

As a rule man is a fool,
When it's hot he wants it cool,
When it's cool he wants it hot,
Always wanting what is not.

As far as I’m concerned, “whom” is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler.  Calvin Trillin

Ask not for whom the bell tolls, and you will pay only the station-to-station rate.

Attitude is everything - shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll be among the stars.

Bad habits are like a good bed; easy to get into but difficult to get out of.

Balance is the key to wrestling and life.

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. Mark Twain

Be of good courage and the Lord will strengthen your heart. The Bible

Be the best, be yourself and not like the rest. Work real hard to be real tough, and remember that 100 percent is not good enough. Set the impossible as being your goal, then reach deep inside from within your soul. All you've got is all you could ask, to give you all to achieve this impossible task. Gene Mills

Beautiful young people are accidents of nature but beautiful old people are works of art.

Because of their cuisine, Germans don't consider farting rude. They'd certainly be out of luck if they did. P.J. O'Rourke

Before I get in the ring, I'd have already won or lost it out on the road. The real part is won or lost somewhere far away from witnesses-behind the lines, in the gym and out there on the road long before I dance under those lights. Muhammad Ali

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes. Ann Brashares

Before you tell anyone to 'be yourself', reassess his character.

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. Jim Carrey

Being in therapy is great. I spend an hour just talking about myself. It’s kinda like being the guy on a date. Caroline Rhea

Being miserable is a habit; being happy is a habit; and the choice is yours. Tom Hopkins

Believe it can be done. When you believe something can be done, really believe, your mind will find the ways to do it. Believing a solution paves the way to solution. David J. Schwartz

Better to light one candle than to curse the darkness. The Christopher Motto

Beware the fury of a patient man. John Dryden

Birds of a feather flock together.

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they will never cease to be amused.

Blowing your own horn only makes other people go deaf.

Busy souls have no time to be busybodies. O'Malley

Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine what it’s doing in the Maritimes. Tommy Douglas

Challenges should not be seen as obstacles but rather as opportunities for acquiring new experiences in life.

Champions expect pain, endure pain, and never complain.

Champions train… Losers complain.

Change favors those who are prepared. Louis Pasteur

Character is much easier kept than recovered. Thomas Paine

Character is not cut in marble, but is living and changing, and subject to disease, as our bodies are.

Character is not made in a crisis – it’s only exhibited. Robert Freeman

Character is not what you are in the dark.

Circumstances are often the masters of our lives.

Civilization is the lamb's skin in which barbarism masquerades. T. B. Aldrich

Coming together is the beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success. Henry Ford

Common sense the knack of seeing things as they are, and doing things as they ought to be done. Josh Billings

Computer logic is no substitute for human wisdom.

Courage is fear in action. William A. Welker

Courage is grace under pressure. Ernest Hemingway

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear. Mark Twain

Courage under sure defeat is true magnificence.

Cowardice is fear inaction. William A. Welker

Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep. Scott Adams

Creativity is intelligence having fun.

Defeat isn't bitter if you don't swallow it.

Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner. James Bovard, Civil Libertarian

Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember it didn't work for the rabbit. R. E. Shay

Desire is the key that opens the door when opportunity knocks.

Desire is the key that opens the door when opportunity knocks.

Destiny is not a matter of chance; it is a matter of choice.

Did you hear about the Bishop who hired a secretary who had worked for the Pentagon? She immediately changed his filing system to “Sacred” and “Top Sacred.” Ira N. Briggs

Difficulties are meant to rouse, not discourage. The human spirit is to grow strong by conflict. William Ellery Channing

Difficulties strengthen the mind, as labor does the body. Seneca

Discussion is an exchange of knowledge; argument is an exchange of ignorance. Robert Quillen

Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.

Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.

Do what you can, with what you have, where you are. Theodore Roosevelt

Do your job and demand your compensation - but in that order. Cary Grant

Doing things by halves is worthless; it may be the other half that counts.

Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't botherin' you none.

Don't judge folks by their relatives.

Don't talk unless you can improve the silence. Vermont Proverb

Don't think your condition is good enough; KNOW IT!

Dose it ever amaze and delight you that of all the places in the world – cold grassy nests under hedgerows, warm patches of sun on a carpet – the cat chooses to sit on your lap? Nevada Barr

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may diet.

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things. Robert Brault

Enthusiasm rinds opportunities and energy makes the most of them. Henry Hoskins

Even in the dictionary, academics comes before athletics. William A. Welker

Even the worst haircut eventually grows out. Lisa Kogan

Every child should have an occasional pat on the back as long as it is applied low enough and hard enough. Bishop Fulton J. Sheen

Every man is a volume, if you how to read him. W. E. Channing

Every man is capable of performing something unique; that which he alone can perfect.

Every man is guilty of all the good he didn't do. Voltaire

Every man is the architect of his own fortune. Sallust

Every Every path has a few puddles.

Everybody falls, but only winners get back on their feet.

Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects. Will Rogers

Everything comes to him who waits. Except a loaned book. Kin Hubbard

Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joe-k. Will Rogers

Everything is possible to those who believe.

“Exercise” is such a dirty word in my household that whenever I even think of it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate. Leonore Fleischer

Exhibit pride in your work and humility in your accomplishments.

Experience is always a good teacher, but she often has dull pupils.

Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.

Experience shows that exceptions are as true as the rules. Edith Ronald Mirrielees

Failure is not a single cataclysmic event. You don't fail overnight. Instead, failure is a few errors in judgment, repeated every day. Jim Rohn

Failure isn't fatal, and success isn't final. Don Shula

Faith, to my mind, is a stiffening process, a sort of mental starch. E.M. Forster

Fame is the perfume of heroic deeds. Socrates

Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered with failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the grey twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat. Theodore Roosevelt

Fathers are like a lighthouse - when there is fog his children can always depend on seeing the light.

Find inner peace? I looked; it wasn't there. Bob Geldorf

Five out of four people have a problem with fractions.

Fools take to themselves the respect that is given to their office. Aesop

For of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: 'It might have been'. John Greenleaf Whittier

For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program. Bob Wells

For those of you who haven't read the book, it's been published tomorrow. David Frost

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the only miracle the Vatican has overlooked. Bill Cosby

Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries. Douglas Casey

Forget injuries; never forget kindness. Confucius

Forgetting is oft times harder than remembering.

Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.

Fortune is ever seen accompanying industry. Oliver Goldsmith

France is a country where the money falls apart but you can't tear the toilet paper. Billy Wilder

Friends are family you choose.

Genius begins great works; labor alone finishes them. Joseph Joubert

German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. Willy Rushton

Germans are flummoxed by humor, the Swiss have no concept of fun, the Spanish think there is nothing at all ridiculous about eating dinner at midnight, and the Italians should never, ever have been let in on the invention of the motor car. Bill Bryson

Give me the ready hand rather than the ready tongue. Garibaldi

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. P.J. O'Rourke

Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget.

Good friends, like wine, get better with age.

Good instincts tell you what to do long before your head has figured it out. Michael Burke

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

Good taste is the enemy of comedy. Mel Brooks

Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else. Frederic Bastiat, French Economist (1801-1850)

Graduation speeches were invented largely in the belief that college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated. Garry Trudeau

Great minds have purposes; others have wishes. Washington Irving

Great opportunities come to those who make the most of small ones.

Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together. Vincent Van Gogh

Great wrestlers don't out-muscle; they out-hustle.

Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days. Benjamin Franklin

Half of the American people have never read a newspaper. Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the same half. Gore Vidal

Happiness is good health and a bad memory. Ingrid Bergman

Happiness never decreases by being shared.

Hard luck is composed of laziness, bad judgement, and poor execution.

Hard work is the best remedy for all of life's trials.

Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your head. Martin Mull

Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken and there's a lot of throwing up. Ray Romano

He has a right to criticize who has a heart to help. Abraham Lincoln

He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose. Jim Elliot

He that has learned to obey will know how to command. Solon

He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else. Benjamin Franklin

He who does wrong does wrong against himself. He who acts unjustly acts unjustly to himself. Marcus Aurelius

He who has a thousand friends has not a friend to spare, while he who has one enemy shall meet him everywhere. Ralph Waldo Emerson

He who is only an athlete is too crude, too vulgar, too much a savage. He who is a scholar only is too soft. The ideal citizen is the scholar athlete, the man of thought and the man of action. Plato

He who takes a stand is often wrong, but he who fails to take a stand is always wrong.

He who won't be counseled can't be helped. Ben Franklin

He who would eat in Spain must bring his kitchen along. German saying

Hold me, grip me, cherish me, pretend that I'm a golf club!

Home is a refuge for all good men.

How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? Rita Rudner

How do I get to Carnegie Hall?

How much money does it take to make a man happy? Just one more dollar.  John D. Rockefeller

How poor are they who have not patience! What wound did ever heal but by degrees. William Shakespeare

Humility is a strange thing. The minute you think you've got it, you've lost it.

Humour is based on a modicum of truth. Ever heard a joe-k about a father-in-law?  Dick Clark

Humour is a rubber sword – it allows you to make a point without drawing blood. Mary Hirsch

Hunger is the best sauce in the world. Cervantes

I become apprehensive when I observe people in large groups because they are often controlled by their emotions - and from there, emerge as mobs. W. Andrew Welker

I believe because it is impossible. Tertullian

I believe in an open mind, but not so open that your brains fall out. Arthur Hays Sulzberger

I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers. Mahatma Gandhi

I can believe anything provided it is incredible. Oscar Wilde

'I can't do it' never yet accomplished anything; 'I will try' has performed miracles.

I care not what others think of what I do, but I care very much about what I think of what I do. That is character! Theodore Roosevelt

I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle. Winston Churchill

I do not ask for any crown but that which all may win; nor try to conquer any world except the one within. Louisa May Alcott

I do not pray for a lighter load, but for a stronger back. Philip Brookes

I don't know the key to success but I know the key to failure is trying to please everybody.

I don’t work out. If God wanted us to bend over, he’d put diamonds on the floor. Joan Rivers

I feel strongly that the visual arts are of vast importance. Of course I could be prejudiced. I am a visual art. Kermit The Frog

I feel that the greatest reward for doing is the opportunity to do more. Jonas Salk

I found a country [America] with thirty-two religions and only one sauce. Charles-Maurice de Talleyrand-Perogord

I found the pearl of the Orient slightly less exciting than a rainy Sunday evening in Rochester. S.J. Perelman

I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet strange, I am ungrateful to those teachers. Khalil Gibran

I have learned that to be with those I like is enough. Walt Whitman

I have much more faith in a kind man than I do in mankind.

I have never been lost, but I will admit to being confused for several weeks. Daniel Boone

I know why the sun never sets on the British Empire: God wouldn't trust an Englishman in the dark. Duncan Spaeth

I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past. Patrick Henry

I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble. Helen Keller

I looked up the word ‘politics’ in the dictionary. It’s actually a combination of two words: ‘poli’, which means many, and ‘tics’, which means bloodsuckers. Jay Leno

I love Thanksgiving turkey - it's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts. Arnold Schwarzenegger

I must be cruel, only to be kind. William Shakespeare

I never came upon any of my discoveries through the process of rational thinking. Albert Einstein

I think I have a disease called spontaneous disclosure. I need to tell everyone my life story instantaneously. Kelly Ripa

I wanted a man who wouldn’t stray so I’m dating a guy on house arrest. Kim Bove

I wear glasses, so I can look for things I keep losing. Bill Cosby

I will study and prepare myself… and someday my chance will come. Abraham Lincoln

If a man has common sense, he has all the sense there is. Sam Rayburn

If a window of opportunity appears, don't pull down the shade. Tom Peters

If Adam and Eve were alive today, they would probably sue the snake. Bern Williams

If an idea’s worth having once, it’s worth having twice. Tom Stoppard

If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one. Andrew A. Rooney

If I had a pause button on my life, I would use it. Jaycee Jay Anderson at the XXI 2010 Vancouver Winter Olympics

If I lose, I'll walk away and never feel bad because I did all I could. There was nothing more to do. Joe Frazier

If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet? Steven Wright

If I try I can only lose, not fail.

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day.

If men can run the world, why can’t they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck? Linda Ellerbee

If money is your hope for independence, you will never have it. Henry Ford

'If only' are the famous last words of those who weren't.

If pregnancy were a book, they would cut the last two chapters? Nora Ephron

If some countries have too much history, we have too much geography. William Lyon Mackenzie King

If there's one thing I know, it's that God does love a good joe-k. Hugh Elliott

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library? Lily Tomlin

If we are a country committed to free speech, then why do we have phone bills? Steven Wright

If you are patient in one moment of anger you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.

If you blame others for your failures, do you also credit them for your successes?

If you choose not to decide, you've still made a choice.

If you can see a bandwagon, it’s too late to get on it. James Goldsmith

If you don't have someone tracking you down, you haven't exhausted your credit options.

If you don't try, you can't fail… or succeed.

If you fail to plan, plan to fail.

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun. Katharine Hepburn

If you take responsibility for yourself you will develop a hunger to accomplish your dreams. Les Brown

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. P.J. O'Rourke

If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster. Clint Eastwood

If you want to be the person you ought to be, you've got to welcome competition.

If you want to truly understand something, try to change it. Kurt Lewin

If you’re going to write a book on how to raise children, do it before you have them. Bob McLaren

If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it. Jonathan Winters

I’m always relieved when someone delivers a eulogy and I realize I’m listening to it. George Carlin

I’m at the age where my back goes out more than I do. Phyllis Diller

I’m convinced that every boy, in his heart, would rather steal second base than an automobile. Tom Clark

I’m not aging, I'm marinating.

I’m paranoid about everything. On my stationary bike I have a rearview mirror. Richard Lewis

I’m still hot - it just comes in flashes.

In America, only the successful writer is important, in France all writers are important, in England no writer is important, and in Australia you have to explain what a writer is. Geoffrey Cottrell

In any moment of decision the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing. Theodore Roosevelte

In any world menu, Canada must be considered the vichyssoise of nations – it’s cold, half-French, and difficult to stir. Stuart Keate

In California virtually everyone has had their teeth whitened. If they all smiled at once, they would give us a headache. Garrison Keillor

In case of fire, don't panic. Simply flee the building with the same reckless abandon that occurs each day at quitting time.

In doing we learn. George Herbert

In doing what we ought we deserve no praise. Saint Augustine

In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. Voltaire

In great attempts, it is glorious even to fail. Cassius

In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them.

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. John Adams

In our world, more often the truth is 'Money talks and integrity walks.' Bill Welker

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. Margaret Thatcher

In prosperity our friends know us; in adversity we know our friends. J. Churton Collins

In the quest for knowledge, there are no barriers. Joseph J. Thomas

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. Ben Franklin

Individuals who act too 'cool' often freeze under pressure.

Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results. Scott Adams

Information is pretty thin stuff unless mixed with experience. Clarence Day

Ingenuity, plus courage, plus work, equals miracles. Bob Richards

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and just give her a house. Rod Stewart

Intelligence is like a 4 wheel drive - it allows you to get stuck in more remote places.

It doesn't take a very big person to carry a grudge.

It takes a whole village to raise a child. African Proverb

It might be a good idea if the various countries of the world would occasionally swap history books, just to see what other people are doing with the same set of facts. Bill Vaughan

It takes two fools to argue.

It’s a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it. W. Somerset Maugham

It’s a rough road that leads to heights of greatness. Senaca

It’s a whole lot more satisfying to reach for the stars, even if you end up landing only on the moon. Kermit The Frog

It is after you have lost your teeth that you can afford to buy steaks. Pierre Renoir

It’s all right letting yourself go, as long as you can let yourself back. Mick Jagger

It is better to be hated for what you are, than loved for what you are not. Andre Gide

It’s difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream of yesterday is the hope for tomorrow. Robert H. Goddard

It’s easier to believe a lie that one has heard a thousand times than to believe a fact that no one has heard before.

It’s easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them. Adlai Stevenson

It’s easy to get a reputation for wisdom. It’s only necessary to live long, speak little and do less. P.D. James

It’s great to get up in the morning, but nicer to lie in bed.

It’s hard to fail, but it's worse never to have tried to succeed.

It is not enough to have a good mind. The main thing is to use it well. Rene Descartes

It is quite untrue that British people don't appreciate music. They may not understand it but they absolutely love the noise it makes. Sir Thomas Beecham

It isn't over till it's over. Yogi Berra

It isn't the hours you put in, but what you put IN the hours.

It isn't the load that breaks us down; it's the way we carry it.

It’s not the oath that makes us believe the man, but the man who says the oath. Aeschylus

It’s not what you were, but what you are.

It’s not who I am underneath. It's what I do that defines me. Batman

It’s only when the tide goes out that you learn who's been swimming naked. Warren Buffet

It’s possible to store the mind with a million facts and still be entirely uneducated. Alec Bourne

It’s time to diet and exercise when you accept the fact that you can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time – but not while you’re wearing a bathing suit. Gene Perret

It’s very hard to win when your thoughts turn to losing.

It takes less time to do something right the first time, than it does to explain why you did it wrong.

I’ve come to learn that the best time to debate family members is when they have good in their mouths. Kenneth Cole

I’ve learned that the important thing is to know that you've tried your very hardest, gave 100 percent on every play. George Rogers

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they’re the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. Dennis Miller

Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you. Pericles (430 B.C.)

Just think how far we’ve come in the 20th Century. The man who used to be a cog in the wheel is now a digit in the computer. Robert Fuoss

Justice is a law of nature rarely found in human affairs.

Keep cool; anger is not an argument. Daniel Webster

Keep skunks, bankers and lawyers at a distance.

Laugh at yourself first before anyone else can. Elsa Maxwell

Laughter is a most healthful exertion, it is one of the greatest helps to digestion with which I am acquainted; and the custom prevalent among our forefathers, of exciting it at table by jesters and buffoons, was founded on true medical principles. Christoph Wilhelm Hufeland (1762-1836), German physician

Law cannot persuade where it cannot punish. Thomas Fuller

Lawyers are like beavers: They get in the middle of the stream and dam it up. Donald Rumsfeld

Leadership is action, not position. Samuel Gompers

Learn as if you were going to live forever. Live as if you were going to die tomorrow. Mahatma Gandhi

Learn to enjoy your own company. You are the one person you can count on living with for the rest of your life. Ann Richards

Let me win, but if I can't win, let me be brave in the attempt. Special Olympics

Let the wind blow through your hair while you still have some. Dave Weinbaum

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.

Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it. George Bernard Shaw

Lies tarnish the soul.

Life can be fun if you learn to enjoy the adventure.

Life is a long lesson in humility. Sir James M. Barrie

Life is like a horse - either you ride it or it rides you.

Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we’ve set aside enough money for our kids’ therapy. Michelle Pfeiffer

Like an Irishman's obligation, all on the one side, and always yours. English saying

Like attracts like and we attract just what we are in mind. Ernest Holmes

Live a good, honourable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.

Live so you won't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip. Will Rogers

Lose your cool - play the fool. W. Andrew Welker

Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. Woody Allen

Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.

Make good habits and they will make you. Parks Cousins

Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you. Ralph Waldo Emerson

Making mistakes reveals human nature. How one deals with them reveals character.

Man tends to treat all his opinions as principles. Herbert Agar

Many an optimist has become rich by buying out a pessimist. Robert G. Allen

Many can argue; not many converse. Alcott

Many receive advice, but only the wise profit from it. Syrus

Maturity is accepting the consequences of your actions.

May you have warmth in your igloo, oil in your lamp, and peace in your heart. Eskimo Proverb

Maybe more youngsters would stay home at nights if they were not afraid to stay alone at nights. Herbert Prochnow

Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.

Measure a man by the opposition it takes to discourage him.

Men are born with two eyes but with one tongue, in order that they may see twice as much as they say. C. C. Colton

Men who try to do something and fail are infinitely better than those who try to do nothing and succeed. L. Jones

Miracles happen to those who believe in them.

Mobile phones are the only subject on which men boast about who’s got the smallest. Neil Kinnock

Money doesn’t talk, it swears. Bob Dylan

Moses took us Israelis forty years through the desert in order to bring us to the one spot in the Middle East that has no oil. Golda Meir

Most men look to what is right for them. Few search for the truth.

Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.

Most people hate cell phone use on trains – I love cell phone use on trains. What do you want to do – read that report on your lap, or hear about your neighbour’s worst date ever? Liza Mundy

Most people would learn from their mistakes if they weren't so busy trying to place the blame on someone else.

Most people would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism.

Most problems are solved with resolve.

Mothers are angels that lift us when we cannot fly.

My Birth Certificate is so old, it's written in Roman Numerals. Bill Carter

My drinking team has a sailing problem.

My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them. Penn Jillette

My husband is so confident that when he watches sports on television, he thinks that if he concentrates he can help his team. If the team is in trouble, he coaches the players from our living room, and if they’re really in trouble, I have to get off the phone in case they call him. Rita Rudner

My metabolism stinks. I can gain weight just listening to dinner music. Ron Dentinger

My mother always used to say, “The older you get, the better you get. Unless you’re a banana.” Betty White

My perspective on my mother has changed immensely. She was a lot taller when I was younger. Howie Mandel

My way of joe-king is telling the truth; that is the funniest joke in the world. George Bernard Shaw

My weight is perfect for my height - which varies.

Native ability without education is like a tree without fruit. Aristippus

Never be ashamed of the work you have done, only the work you haven't done.

Never doubt yourself nor your abilities. Pete Cuffaro

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly.

Never ever lose your head. Its the best part of your body. Art Rooney

Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake. Napoleon Bonaparte

Never marvel at the strength of a man's words, but rather by the determination and truthfulness of his actions.

Never pray to win, but to do your best - for God has no favorites. Dorothy I. Welker

Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity. George S. Patton

Never trust the advice of a man in difficulties. Aesop

No goal is unattainable with individual determination.

No man can think clearly when his fists are clinched. G. J. Nathan

No man is free who is not a master of himself. Epictetus

No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement. Florida Scott-Maxwell

No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously. Dave Barry

No one can be as calculatedly rude as the British, which amazes Americans, who do not understand studied insult and can only offer abuse as a substitute. Paul Gallico

No one can ever make you feel inferior without your consent.

Nobody is a failure until he stops trying.

Noli illegitimi carborundum: Don't let the bastards grind you down.

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. Dave Barry

Not doing more than average is what keeps the average down. William M. Winans

Not failure, but low aim, is crime. J. R. Lowell

Not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. George Sala

Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood. Marie Curie

Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely. Rodin

Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he's talking about. Sam Ewing

Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else. J. M. Barrie

Nothing is so exhausting as indecision, and nothing is so futile. Bertand Russell

Nothing positive comes from self-pity.

Nothing really sets human nature free but self-control. Paul Bottome

Nothing will ever be accomplished if all possible objections must be first overcome. Samuel Johnson

Nowadays people know the price of everything and the value of nothing. Oscar Wilde

Nowadays they say you need a special chip to put in the TV so kids can’t watch this and that. In my day, we didn’t need a chip. My mom was the chip. End of story. Ray Charles

Often the test of courage is not to die, but to live. Conte Vittorio Afieri

On the keyboard of life always keep one finger on the 'escape' key.

Once when I was lost I asked a policeman to help me find my parents. I said to him, “Do you think we’ll ever find them?” He answered, “I don’t know, kid. There are so many places they can hide.” Rodney Dangerfield

Once you agree upon the price you and your family must pay for success, it enables you to ignore the minor hurts the opponent's pressure, and the temporary failures. Vincent Lombardi

Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy. Albert Einstein

One good thing about living in America is that there is no neurosis too insignificant to merit its own paperback. Deborah Solomon

One machine can do the work of a hundred ordinary men, but no machine can do the work of one extraordinary man. Elbert Hubbard

One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

One of the best parts of growing older? You can flirt all you like since you’ve become harmless. Liz Smith

One of the most important things a father can do for his children is to love their mother. Ray Chenoweth

One thing I will say about the Germans, they are always perfectly willing to give somebody's land to somebody else. Will Rogers

One trouble with the world is that so many people who stand up vigorously for their rights, fall down miserably on their duties.

Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile. Albert Einstein

Only a man who knows what it is like to be defeated can reach down to the bottom of his soul and come up with the extra ounce of power it takes to win when the match is even. Muhammad Ali

Only someone who attempts the absurd can achieve the impossible.

Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go. T. S. Eliot

Only through practice can new ideas truly be evaluated.

Opportunity may knock, but you must open the door.

Order is the shape upon which beauty depends. Pearl S. Buck

Other people have a nationality. The Irish and the Jews have a psychosis. Brendan Behan

Our progress as a nation can be no swifter than our progress in education. John F. Kennedy

Out of clutter, find simplicity, From discord, find harmony. In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity. Albert Einstein

Patience has its limits. Take it too far and it's cowardice. George Jackson

Patience is the companion of wisdom. Saint Augustine

Patience is a vital trait of the great athlete.

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.

People differ. Some object to the fan dancer, and others to the fan.

People often say that 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder,' and I say that the most liberating thing about beauty is realizing that you are the beholder. This empowers us to find beauty in places where others have not dared to look, including inside ourselves. Salma Hayek

People only see what they are prepared to see. Ralph Waldo Emerson

People say New Yorkers can’t get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete strangers, sharing a cab. One guy took the tires and the radio; the other guy took the engine. David Letterman

People seldom improve when they have no other model but themselves to copy after. Oliver Goldsmith

People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them Benjamin Franklin said it first. David H. Comins

People will buy anything that's one to a customer.

Pep without purpose is piffle.

Perseverance is a great element of success; if you only knock long enough and loud enough at the gate, you are sure to wake up somebody. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Personal judgments are like watches; none go just the same, yet each believes his own. Alexander Pope

Polite conversation is rarely either. Fran Lebowitz

Positive anything is better than negative nothing. Elbert Hubbard

Pride is a tricky, glorious, double-edged feeling. Adrienne Rich

Progress always involves risk; you can't steal second base and keep your foot on first. Frederick Wilcox

Progress is not created by contented people. Frank Tyger

Quality means doing it right when no one is looking. Henry Ford

Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare. Ed Asner

Rather suffer an injustice than commit one.

Reaching high keeps a man on his toes.

Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body. Joseph Addison

Responsible – who wants to be responsible? Whenever something bad happens, it’s always, “Who’s responsible for this?” Jerry Seinfeld

Retirement is like a long vacation in Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it to the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money. Jonathan Clements

Rome didn't create an Empire by holding meetings - they did it by killing their enemies. Chris Johnson

Second guessing is much easier than speculating under pressure.

See everything; overlook a great deal; correct a little. Pope John XXIII

Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings. Dr. Samuel Johnson

Self-delusion is pulling in your stomach when you step on the scale. Paul Sweeney

Setting a good example for your children does nothing but increase their embarrassment. Doug Larson

Seven-thirty is my time to rise,
But I'm seldom bright of eye.
Part of me says, “Look alive!”
And the other part asks, “Why?”

Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half sorrow. Swedish Proverb

Show me a good loser and I'll show you a man playing golf with his boss.

Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.

Silence is one of the hardest things to refute. Josh Billings

Silence is sometimes the best answer.

Silence often gives impressions that words can not.

Smiling is infectious, you catch it like the flu
When someone smiled at me today, I started smiling too.
I passed around the corner and someone saw my grin.
When he smiled I realized I'd passed it on to him.
I thought about that smile, then I realized its worth;
A single smile, just like mine could travel round the earth.
So, if you feel a smile begin, don't leave it undetected.
Let's start an epidemic quick, and get the world infected! Idske Mulder

Smoking means always having to say you’re sorry. Tom Ferguson

Some people color inside the lines, others color outside the lines. Me? I eat the crayons. Bill Carter

Some people say they can do a little bit of everything… very little.

Some say cling to the earth while others say reach for the stars. There's time enough for the earth in the grave.

Sometimes the best gain is to lose. George Herbert

Sometimes the poorest man leaves his children the richest inheritance. Ruth E. Renkel

Sometimes true courage in life is just being a decent human being.

Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.

Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy. Thich Nhat Hanh

Speak when you're angry and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret. L. J. Peter

Sports do not build character; they reveal it.

Success can test one's mettle as surely as the strongest adversary.

Success consists of getting up just one more time than you fall.

Success covers a multitude of blunders. George Bernard Shaw

Success is falling nine times and getting up ten. Jon Bon Jovi

Superstition is the religion of feeble minds. Edmund Burke

Sympathy is never wasted except when you give it to yourself.

Talent is no match for hard work, determination, and perseverance.

Talk is cheap... except when Congress does it.

Talk that does not end in any kind of action is better suppressed altogether. Thomas Carlyle

Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself. Friedrich Nietzsche

Tart words make no friends: A spoonful of honey will catch more flies than a gallon of vinegar. Benjamin Franklin

Television remote controls encourage couch potatoes to exercise their options while broadening their base. William Arthur Ward

Temptation usually comes in through a door that has been deliberately left open. Arnold Glasgow

That best portion of a good man's life - his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love. William Wordsworth

That which does not kill us, makes us stronger.

The absence of desire can be fatal.

The actions of men are the best interpreters of their thoughts. John Locke

The beaten path is the safest, but the traffic's terrible. Jeff Taylor

The best remedy for a short temper is a long walk. Jacqueline Schiff

The best rule of thumb for character is to remember that if you can't be big, don't belittle.

The best sermons are lived, not preached.

The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he's too old for it.

The best way to predict your future is to create it.

The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'.

The brain is a commodity used to fertilize ideas. Elbert Hubbard

The bravest sight in the world is to see a great man struggling against adversity. Seneca

The bulletin board on the lawn of a New Jersey Church reads “We reserve the right to accept everybody.” John Kazmark

The cat could very well be man’s best friend but would never stoop to admitting it. Doug Larson

The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.

The definition of FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real.

The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.

The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little EXTRA.

The English country gentleman galloping after a fox - the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable. Oscar Wilde

The evil that men do lives after them; the good is oft interred with their bones. William Shakespeare

The finish line is just the beginning of a whole new race. Susan Saint James

The first great gift we can bestow on others is a good example. Morell

The food in Yugoslavia is fine if you like pork tartare. Ed Begley Jr.

The gods too are fond of a joe-k. Aristotle

The grass may be greener on the other side, but it’s just as hard to cut. Little Richard

The great thing about Glasgow now is that if there is a nuclear attack it'll look exactly the same afterwards. Billy Connolly

The great thing about rock and roll is that someone like me can be a star. Elton John

The greatest athletes are those who discover that what they should be doing and what they are doing are the same thing.

The greatest match a man can win is won within.

The greatest of faults is to be conscious of none. Carlyle

The greatest mistake you can make in this life is to be continually fearing you will make one. Elbert Hubbard

The greatest remedy for anger is delay. Seneca

The harder you work, the harder it is to lose.

The harder you work, the luckier you get.

The hardest thing about earning a title is the ability to live up to it. W. A. Welker

The heart has reasons that reason cannot know. Blaise Pascal

The highest reward for a person's toil is not what he gets for it, but what he becomes by it. John Ruskin

The higher the stakes, the greater the temptation to lose your temper. C. S. Lewis

The impossible is often the untried. Jim Goodwin

The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery. Winston Churchill

The inner fire is the most important thing mankind possesses. Edith Sodergran

The Irish are a fair people, they never speak well of one another. Samuel Johnson

The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves. William Penn

The key to success? Work hard, stay focused and marry a Kennedy. Arnold Schwarzenegger

The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible. Judith Regan

The largest room available to athletes is room for improvement.

The last birthday that’s any good is 23. Andy Rooney

The less a person accomplishes in a day, the more he talks during meals.

The longer you live, the more you realize you can't change the world, but it doesn't have to change you.

The man who is in real danger is the man who thinks he is perfectly safe. James M. Barrie

The man who never makes mistakes loses a great many chances to learn something.

The measure of a man's real character is what he would do if he knew he would never be found out. Thomas Macaulay

The more things a man is ashamed of, the more respectable he is. George Bernard Shaw

The music is all around us. All you have to do is listen. August Rush

The nearest to perfection most people ever come is when filling out an employment application.

The older I grow, the more I listen to people who don't say much. Germain G. Glidden

The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion or ethnic background, is that we all believe we are above-average drivers. Dave Barry

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. Edmund Burke

The only thing some people do is get older. Edgar Watson Howe

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d druther not. Mark Twain

The only way you can know where the line is, is if you cross it. Dave Chappelle

The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person who is doing it.

The power to tax is the power to destroy. John Marshal

The price of greatness is responsibility.

The problem with people who have no vices is that they’re pretty sure to have some annoying virtues. Elizabeth Taylor

The real character of a man is found out by his amusements. Joshua Reynolds

The real test of your character is your treatment of those who can be of no possible service to you.

The reason there are so many tree-lined boulevards in Paris is so the German army can march in the shade. George Patton

The remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served us nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. Calvin Trillin

The reward of a thing well done is to have done it. Ralph Waldo Emerson

The secret of happiness is not doing what one likes, but liking what one has to do. James M. Burrie

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. Denzel Washington

The speed of the leader determines the rate of the pack. Wayne Lukas

The squeaky wheel may get the most oil, but it’s also the first to be replaced. Marilyn Vos Savant

The superiority of some men is merely local - they are great because their associates are little.

The sweetest music in the world to every person is his own name.

The time will come when winter will ask what you were doing all summer. Henry Clay

The tragedy of life is not what men suffer, but rather what they miss. Thomas Carlyle

The trouble with being a good sport is that you have to lose to prove it.

The trouble with Ireland is that it's a country full of genius, with absolutely no talent. Hugh Leonard

The trouble with many critics is that they tell you what should be in situations they never have been in themselves.

The trouble with our laws these days is that the criminals know their rights better than their wrongs.

The true champion believes in the impossible.

The true champion loses many battles before winning the war.

The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good. Ann Landers

The turkey is living proof that an animal can survive with no intelligence at all. Harvey D. Comstock

The two kinds of people on earth are the people who lift and the people who lean.

The ultimate measure of a person is not where he/she stands in moments of comfort, but where he/she stands at times of challenge and controversy. Martin Luther King Jr.

The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools. Herbert Spencer, English Philosopher (1820-1903)

The unselfish effort to bring cheer to others will be the beginning of a happier life for ourselves. Helen Keller

The vision of a champion is someone who is drenched in sweat at the point of exhaustion when no one else is watching. Anson Dorrance

The way to avoid roadblocks to learning is to ask questions. Joseph J. Thomas

The will to win is not nearly so important as the will to prepare to win.

The wisdom of the wise and the experience of the ages are perpetuated by quoatations. Benjamin Disraeli

The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. Albert Einstein

The world is moving so fast these days that the man who says it can't be done is generally interrupted by someone doing it. Elbert Hubbard

The worst bankrupt in the world is the man who has lost his enthusiasm. H. W. Arnold

There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure. Gen. Colin L. Powell

There are no shortcuts to any place worth going. Beverly Sills

There are only 3 true sports: mountain climbing, bull fighting and auto racing. All the rest are games. Ernest Hemingway

There are some defeats more triumphant than victories. Montaigne

There are two kinds of people in one's life - people whom one keeps waiting, and the people for whom one waits.

There is a boundary to men's passions when they act from feelings; but none when they are under the influence of imagination. Edmund Burke

There is always a limit to self-indulgence, but none to self-restraint. M. K. Gandhi

There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness. Friedrich Nietzsche

There’s an upside to grandparenthood. You play, you give, you love, then you hand them back and go to an early movie. Billy Crystal

There’s no rejection in life quite like a cancelled shrink appointment. Bill Schenk

There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval. George Santayana

There is no genius in life like the genius of energy and industry. D. G. Mitchell

There is no place where success comes before work, except in the dictionary. Donald Kimball

There’s no such thing as fun for the whole family. Jerry Seinfeld

There is no such thing as a great talent without great willpower. Honore de Balzac

There is nothing worse than a sharp image of a fuzzy concept. Ansel Adams

There is one thing more exasperating than a spouse who can cook and won't... and that's a spouse who can't cook and will.

There's no educational value in the second kick of a mule. American saying

There's only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self. Aldous Huxley

There is so much good in the worst of us, and so much bad in the best of us, that it hardly behooves any of us to talk about the rest of us. Edward Wallis Hoch

They are all discoverers that think there is no land, when they can see nothing but sea. Francis Bacon

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. Tim Allen

Things may come to those that wait, but only things left by those that hustle. Abraham Lincoln

Think like a man of action and act like a man of thought. Henri Bergson

Those who can laugh without cause have either found the true meaning of happiness or have gone stark raving mad. Norm Papernick

Three words strike fear into the hearts of men: Pop the question.

Those who seek faultless friends will remain friendless.

Though many people regret growing old, it’s a privilege denied to many.

Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

Trust in God – but tie your camel tight. Persian Proverb

To appreciate nonsense requires a serious interest in life. Gelett Burgess

To be satisfied with yourself is a sure sign that your forward motion has stopped.

To be upset over what you don't have is to waste what you do have. Ken S. Keyes, Jr.

To climb steep hills requires slow pace at first. William Shakespeare

To demand more of yourself than you do of others is the first step on any ladder of success.

To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift. Steve Prefontaine

To love what you do and feel that it matters - how could anything be more fun. Katharine Graham

To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am. René Descartes

To truly succeed, it is necessary to accept the world as it is and rise above it.

To try and fail is at least to learn. To fail to try is to suffer the inestimable loss of what might have been. Chester Bernard

Too many people quit looking for work when thy find a job.

Tough times don't last, but tough people do.

Transplanting the ballet to the United States is like trying to raise a palm tree in Dakota. Lincoln Kirsten

True beauty comes from within - from within bottles, jars, compacts, and tubes.

Truly intelligent men know better than to take themselves too seriously.

Try not to be a man of success, but rather a man of value. Albert Einstein

Two main factors that move worldly men to action: desire for gain and fear of loss.

Unwelcome guests are often most welcome when they are gone.

Vegetarian:  an old Indian word for “doesn’t hunt well.” Paul Harvey

Victory comes to those who make the least mistakes.

We all get the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summer. The poor get it in the winter. Bat Masterson

We are in the extreme centre, the radical middle. That is our position. Pierre Trudeau

We are just tenants on this earth. We have been given a new lease, and a warning from the landlord.

We cannot be separated in interest or divided in purpose. We stand together until the end. Woodrow Wilson

We could never learn to be brave and patient, if there were only joy in the world. Helen Keller

We don't know who we are until we see what we can do. Martha Grimes

We forfeit three-fourths of ourselves in order to be like other people. Arthur Schopenhauer

We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have done. H. W. Longfellow

We know what we are, but we know not what we may be. William Shakespeare

We live in a very instant society, where quick fixes, instant meals, online shopping, even the opportunity to be an instant millionaire surround us every day. Our working patterns are increasingly influenced by change and by giant issues such as the global economy, travel, the world wide web, etc, leading to a faster and faster pace of life. 'Replicating Nature's Beauty', The Art of Natural Bonsai by David Joyce

We make our own fortunes and call them fate. Benjamin Disreali

We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of the missing drop. Mother Teresa

We see things not as they are, but as we are. H. M. Tomlinson

What difference does it make how much you have? What you do not have amounts to much more. Seneca

What I’ve learned is that life is too short and movies are too long. Denis Leary

What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you. Nora Ephron

What people say behind your back is your standing in the community. E. W. Howe

What this country needs are more unemployed politicians. Edward Langley, Artist (1928 - 1995)

What we learn to do, we learn by doing. Aristotle

What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say. R. W. Emerson

What you don't say, sometimes says more.

Whatever is worth doing is worth doing well. Stanhope

When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my country. I make up for lost time when I am at home. Winston Churchill

When I hear about people making vast fortunes without doing any productive work or contributing anything to society, my reaction is, “How do I get in on that?” Dave Barry

When I was young, I kissed my first woman and smoked my first cigarette on the same day. Believe me, never since have I wasted any more time on tobacco. Arturo Toscanini

When I'd get tired and want to stop, I'd wonder what my next opponent was doing. I'd wonder if he was still working out. I tried to visualize him. When I could see him still working, I'd start pushing myself. When I could see him in the shower, I'd push myself harder. Dan Gable

When it comes to raising children, I believe in give and take. I give orders and they take ‘em. Bernie Mac

When it gets hot like this, you know what I do? I keep my undies in the ice box. Marilyn Monroe

When it's three o'clock in New York, it's still 1938 in London. Bette Midler

When my generation was your age, we took crazy risks. The wildest thing was – prepare to be shocked – we deliberately ingested carbohydrates!  Dave Barry

When passion rules, she never rules wisely. Ben Franklin

When people ask if I do my own stunts, I always answer, “Not on purpose.” Billy Bob Thornton

When people ask me how old I am, I tell them I'm 39 - with 25 years of experience. Chuck Norris

When you aim for perfection, you discover it's a moving target. George Fisher

When you cease to make a contribution, you begin to die. Eleanor Roosevelt

When you come to a fork in the road, take it. Yogi Berra

When you don’t know what you’re talking about, it’s hard to know when you’re finished. Tommy Smothers

When you wake up in the morning, smile - and get it over with. W.C. Fields

When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

When you’re in love, it’s the most glorious two-and-a-half minutes of your life. Richard Lewis

Who darns nothing, need hope for nothing. Johann von Schiller

Why leave the nut you got for one you don’t know? Loretta Lynn

Wine improves with age. I improve with wine.

Winners in life don't always win; they just don't give up.

Winning is a habit, but unfortunately so is losing. Vince Lombardi

Without enough sleep, we all become tall two-year-olds. JoJo Jenson

Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled.

Work before pleasure - for there is no real pleasure without work.

Wrinkles only go where the smiles have been. Jimmy Buffet

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is God's Gift. That's why we call it the 'Present.'

You can buy anything on eBay. I bought the world’s oldest globe. It’s flat. Buzz Nutley

You can conquer the city, the nation, the world, but until you can conquer your spirit, you're a loser.

You can get old pretty young if you don’t take care of yourself. Yogi Berra

You can go your whole life and not need math or physics for a minute, but the ability to tell a joke is always handy. Garrison Keillor

You cannot plough a field by turning it over in your mind.

You can’t ever work too much because there's no such thing as being in too good condition. You can't ever lift too many weights because you can't ever get too strong. You can't ever wrestle too much because you can always do better. Dan Gable

You can’t have everything. Where would you put it? Steven Wright

You cannot unsay a cruel word.

You can’t write poetry on the computer. Quentin Tarantino

You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the three R’s, only one begins with an R. Dennis Miller

You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish. Jerry Seinfeld

You know your kids are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they’re going. P. J. O’Rourke

You never fail until you stop trying. Florence Griffith Joyner

You will never get ahead of anyone as long as you are trying to get even.

Your balance may be recovered when you trip, but not your words when they slip.

Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight, and bull-strong.

You’re never allowed to step on people to get ahead, but you can step over them if they’re in your way. Star Jones

You’re not famous until my mother has heard of you. Jay Leno

Your majesty, I thank you from the bottom of my heart, and Madame Houde thanks you from her bottom too. Camillein Houde

You’ve got to be original, because if you’re like someone else, what do they need you for? Bernadette Peters

Daffynitions

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