#1 humor site on the 'net

Your Meal Is Ready

It's free if you can eat it all

Your Meal Is Ready thanks to Barry McCartney

QuotaBills
Dinner is poured. - WC Fields

Keep a clean kitchen - dine out. - Unknown

If you wish to grow thinner, diminish your dinner. - H.S. Leigh

I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach. - WC Fields

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

My favorite thing to make for dinner is reservations. - Unknown

He that waits upon fortune is never sure of a dinner. - Benjamin Franklin

Out for lunch. If not back by five, out for dinner also. - Unknown

The kind man feeds his cat before sitting down to dinner. - Hebrew Proverb

We're eating dinner soon. Don't fill up on homework. - Alex Baze

My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare. - Mike Myers

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying. - Fran Lebowitz

I'm a bit of a gourmet chef. I love cooking - mostly Thai food. - Will Ferrell

The man who can dominate a London dinner-table can dominate the world. - Oscar Wilde

My metabolism stinks. I can gain weight just listening to dinner music. - Ron Dentinger

A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch. - James Beard

Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a pauper. - Adelle Davis

After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations. - Oscar Wilde

Dinner and a movie? Forget that. I'd rather have a picnic and a waterfall. - Amanda Grace

Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner. - James Bovard

I'm on a strict liquid diet: Mimosas for breakfast, Margaritas for lunch, Martinis for dinner. - Unknown

The truly free man is the one who will turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse. - Jules Renard

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

I had a feeling once about mathematics – that I saw it all... but it was after dinner and I let it go. - Winston Churchill

When I invite a woman to dinner I expect her to look at my face.
That's the price she has to pay. - Groucho Marx

If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner. - H L Mencken

I'm into all that sappy stuff - a surprise picnic, nice dinner, or traveling. I'm kind of an old romantic. - Will Estes

Because of their cuisine, Germans don't consider farting rude. They'd certainly be out of luck if they did. - P.J. O'Rourke

Poverty is an anomaly to rich people. It is very difficult to make out why people who want dinner do not ring the bell. - Walter Bagehot

I like thieves. Some of my best friends are thieves. Why, just last week we had the president of the bank over for dinner. - WC Fields

It is very vulgar to talk about one's business. Only people like stockbrokers do that, and then merely at dinner parties. - Oscar Wilde

I'm Irish, so I'm used to odd stews. I can take it. Just throw a lot of carrots and onions in there and I'll call it dinner. - Liam Neeson


Who Let The Dogs Out?

Autographed Copy

Fresh Air Computing

Porpoise Pilots

Sorry Employees

Sidecar

Middle East Play House

Cadillac Clearance

Don't Believe Everything You Read

Bee Prepared

Stolen Car

Paper Face

End Of The Line

Glass World - Where Plumbers Buy

Sheep in Wool Clothing

Admin Assistant Bird

Game's On

Backtracker Special

What Are Your Skills?

Just Because You Are Right

Scooter Races

Tired Backhoe

Liftup Lunch

Stereo Bike