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Vatican Chess

Real life checkmate

Vatican Chess thanks to Keith Blake

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I would have made a good Pope. - Richard M Nixon

What Britain needs is an iron lady. - Margaret Thatcher

It ain't exactly the Pope diamond. - Archie Bunker

I speak two languages, English and Body. - Mae West

The Pope, I hope, can only be scared by God. - Donald Trump

Ireland is the old sow that eats her farrow. - James Joyce

Women in London must have learned not to breathe. - Irene Trimble

The English never draw a line without blurring it. - Winston Churchill

Some guys play hockey. Gretzky plays 40-mph chess. - Lowell Cohn

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

Britain's goal is not to survive, but to prevail. - Winston Churchill

The best thing I know between France and England is the sea. - Douglas Jerrold

Irene Lorenzo, queen of the Women's Lubrication Movement. - Archie Bunker

The English winter - ending in July, to recommence in August. - Lord Byron

You know it's summer in Ireland when the rain gets warmer. - Hal Roach

What Great Britain calls the Far East is to us the near north. - Robert Gordon Menzies

I would rather be a beggar and single than a queen and married. - Queen Elizabeth I

Britain's last gold medal was a bronze in 1952 in Helsinki. - Nigel Starmer-Smith

If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English. - Wilfred Sheed

There'll always be an England, even if it's in Hollywood. - Bob Hope

Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland - rich and thick. - Samuel Beckett

All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity. - Gordie Howe

For me, baseball is more comparable to chess than it is to hockey. - Jeff Garlin

In Ireland, a writer is looked upon as a failed conversationalist. - Unknown

England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw

Elvis may have been the king of rock 'n roll, but I am the queen. - Little Richard

The man who can dominate a London dinner-table can dominate the world. - Oscar Wilde

England is an empire, Germany is a nation, a race, France is a person. - Jules Michelet

The English are not an inventive people; they don't eat enough pie. - Thomas Edison

I have great respect for the Pope. I like the Pope. I actually like him. - Donald Trump

When it's three o'clock in New York, it's still 1938 in London. - Bette Midler

It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen. - Dolly Parton

I used to go missing a lot... Miss Canada, Miss United Kingdom, Miss World. - George Best

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. - Emo Philips

There are ways of singing in English that are not just the same as in French. - Coeur de Pirate

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

Exercise is king, nutrition is queen. Put them together and you have a kingdom. - Jack LaLanne

The people of England are never so happy as when you tell them they are ruined. - Arthur Murphy

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

It was a blonde. A blonde to make a bishop kick a hole in a stained glass window. - Raymond Chandler

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes

There's nothing like an English weirdo. We have the best nutters in the world. - Sharon Osbourne

I think of myself as being Jewish and Irish, despite the fact that I'm English. - Daniel Radcliffe

"The Hunchback Of Notre Dame" had the big fat English actor, Charles Lawson. - Archie Bunker

You know what's got the world in the shape today? Buddah, the Pope, Marx and Lemons. - Archie Bunker

The funniest line in English is "Get it?" When you say that, everyone chortles. - Garrison Keillor

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it. - George Carlin

Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer

There are two ways of disliking poetry; one way is to dislike it, the other is to read Pope. - Oscar Wilde

A broken heart is a very pleasant complaint for a man in London if he has a comfortable income. - George Bernard Shaw

Ireland is a small but insuppressible island half an hour nearer the sunset than Great Britain. - Thomas Kettle

I had to have some balls to be Irish Catholic in South London. Most of that time I spent fighting. - Pierce Brosnan

The English country gentleman galloping after a fox - the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable. - Oscar Wilde

Human affairs are like a chess game: Only those who do not take it seriously can be called good players. - Hung Tzu-ch'eng

Larry Gogan: 'With what town in Britain is Shakespeare associated?'
Contestant: 'Hamlet'. - Larry Gogan

I alone of English writers have consciously set myself to make music out of what I may call the sound of sense. - Robert Frost

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

If you find yourself saying, "But I can't speak English...", try adding the word "... yet". - Jane Revell

No bum that can't speak poifect English oughta stay in this country - oughta be de-exported the hell outta here! - Archie Bunker

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde

Fischer, the great American chess champion, famously said, 'Chess is life.' I would say, 'Pi is life.' - Daniel Tammet

My idea is to make moves to bring chess back to the world's map, to make it part of the world's geography again. - Anatoly Karpov

The great Gaels of Ireland are the men that God made mad.
For all their wars are merry, and all their songs are sad. - G K Chesterton

Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt

Every street in London has a camera, and if you ever travel up the M4, it feels as if George Orwell should be your chauffeur. - Don McCullin

I think what's going on with gorillas is pretty bad. The fact is that you can buy gorilla meat in London any day you want it. - Adam Ant

It is Ireland's sacred duty to send over, every few years, a playwright to save the English theatre from inarticulate glumness. - Kenneth Tynan

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin

You know that ISIS wants to go in and take over the Vatican? You have heard that. You know, that's a dream of theirs, to go into Italy. - Donald Trump


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