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Shower Bar

On Doctor's Orders

Yesterday I had my annual medical checkup. The Doctor said that, at my age, I should have a bar in the shower. So I took his advice.
Shower Bar thanks to Barry McCartney

QuotaBills
Physician, heal thyself. - Luke 4:23

Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin

The first wealth is health. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Every disease is a physician. - Irish Proverb

No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

That one kind of grapes on my nerves. - Archie Bunker

Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas

Every cask smells of the wine it contains. - Spanish Proverb

The tartness of his face sours ripe grapes. - William Shakespeare

Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

There is no physician who can cure the disease of love. - African Proverb

Restore a man to his health, his purse lies open to thee. - Robert Burton

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

The sweetest grapes are picked from the vineyard of friendship. - French Proverb

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin

Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke

Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings

Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. - P.J. O'Rourke

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz

What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith

If you have to choose between drinking wine every day or being skinny, which would you choose: Red or White? - Unknown

Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler


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