#1 humor site on the 'net

No Wash Feet

Far East restroom restrictions

No Wash Feet thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V

What happens in the hot tub stays in the hot tub. - Aussie Swimmer

I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia

In life as in dance: Grace glides on blistered feet. - Alice Abrams

I have little feet because nothing grows in the shade. - Dolly Parton

Feet, what do I need you for when I have wings to fly? - Frida Kahlo

Oh, that sound? I'm in the hot tub, reading a novel. - Jane Smiley

Everybody falls, but only winners get back on their feet. - Unknown

Normal is nothing more than a cycle on a washing machine. - Whoopi Goldberg

I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder

I used to practice Tony speeches in my bathroom with my hairbrush. - Audra McDonald

Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino

Forget aging. If you're six feet above ground, it's a good day. - Faith Hill

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and radio. - Rodney Dangerfield

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly. - Rod Stewart

Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face. - Enrico Caruso

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick

I've had a lot of luck. If I didn't I'd be washing bottles in Russia. - Marat Safin

When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell

If you play a tune and a person don't tap their feet, don't play the tune. - Count Basie

You can't sweep other people off their feet if you can't be swept off your own. - Clarence Day

I have spread my dreams beneath your feet. Tread softly because you tread on my dreams. - William Butler Yeats

At Disneyland, you never go 'backstage' - even when you're in the bathroom. - Hideo Kojima

There must be quite a few things a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them. - Sylvia Plath

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair. - Khalil Gibran

Field hockey is my strongest sport, and if I lose a game, I take a long, hot bath and moan about it. - Emma Watson

Be good, keep your feet dry, your eyes open, your heart at peace, and your soul in the joy of Christ. - Thomas Merton

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

I sleep with a light on in the bathroom so I can see where I'm at, because I wake up and have no clue. - Carrie Underwood

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine. - Milton Berle

"Exercise" is such a dirty word in my household that whenever I even think of it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate. - Leonore Fleischer

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

Life is a child playing around your feet, a tool you hold firmly in your grip, a bench you sit down upon in the evening, in your garden. - Jean Anouilh

I'm pretty sure that eating chocolate keeps wrinkles away because I have never seen a 10 year old with a Hershey bar and crows feet. - Amy Neftzger

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash


Worst Aid

Mexican Recliners

Size Matters

Leadership Skills

Bottom Dweller

Gene Lifeguard

Portable Shower

Cut-Off Deadline

Kid Disposal

Racing a 'Hot Rod'

Why Elk Have Long Antlers

Biting Shoes

Romanian Auto Safety

New Player

Hoser

Garden Gnome

Hotel Waterfall

Security Guard

Real FootBall

Burger King Street

SkeleChair

Eating Kaka

Dark Side Bus Stop

Escher Stairs