#1 humor site on the 'net

Ironic Gifts

My brother nailed it this year

Ironic Gifts thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

What is bought is cheaper than a gift. - Portuguese Proverb

Conceit is God's gift to little men. - Bruce Barton

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

Gladly accept the gifts of the present hour. - Horace

Every good and perfect gift comes from above. - Bible

Every problem has a gift for you in its hands. - Richard Bach

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

Praise is the only gift for which people are really grateful. - Marguerite

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge

Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue. - Virginia Woolf

A gift diamond shines so much better than one you buy for yourself. - Mae West

Opportunity does not knock. It presents itself when you beat down the door. - Unknown

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

Humor is everywhere in that there's irony in just about anything a human does. - Bill Nye

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them. - Desmond Tutu

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

The gift of fantasy has meant more to me than my talent for absorbing positive knowledge. - Albert Einstein

Humor brings insight and tolerance. Irony brings a deeper and less friendly understanding. - Agnes Repplier

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied: I wish no gifts, only presence. - Unknown

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

We are each given a limitless capacity to love and attain wisdom. The extent we use these gifts is our choice. - Anthony Douglas

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is God's Gift. That's why we call it the 'Present.' - Bill Keane

The circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are. - Mewtwo

Love is always bestowed as a gift - freely, willingly and without expectation. We don't love to be loved; we love to love. - Leo Buscaglia

The older one gets, the more one feels that the present must be enjoyed; it is a precious gift, comparable to a state of grace. - Marie Curie

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple

If someone offers you a gift, and you decline to accept it, the other person still owns that gift. The same is true of insults and verbal attacks. - Steve Pavlina

Only when your consciousness is totally focused on the moment you are in can you receive whatever gift, lesson, or delight that moment has to offer. - Barbara de Angelis


Carpet Diet

Canadian Fast Food

Manitoba Home Security System

Walk Sign Ending

Stealth Photographer

Cow Licks

Am I Visible?

Security for a Stripped Bike

Japanese Yen for Downside Housing

2019 Hooters Owl & Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Zoo Invitation

Pencil Shavings

Hidey Ho, Neighbour!

Ed In Burgh

Safe Working Practices?

Shade Stockings

Ex-Pilot

Stair Substitute

Alaska Phone Booth

How to Prepare a Man for His Funeral

Crap Flavoured Instant Noodles

Three Cats Ago

Burnt Out Driver

1-800-PILLCASH