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Ironic Gifts

My brother nailed it this year

Ironic Gifts thanks to Wayne Nowazek

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What is bought is cheaper than a gift. - Portuguese Proverb

Conceit is God's gift to little men. - Bruce Barton

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

Gladly accept the gifts of the present hour. - Horace

Every problem has a gift for you in its hands. - Richard Bach

A book is a gift you can open again and again. - Garrison Keillor

The gods bestowed on him the gift of perpetual old age. - Oscar Wilde

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift. - Steve Prefontaine

If you can give your child only one gift, let it be enthusiasm. - Bruce Barton

For business, our Internet love affair was a gift from the gods. - Gary Vaynerchuk

Do not be afraid; our fate Cannot be taken from us; it is a gift. - Dante Alighieri

A gift diamond shines so much better than one you buy for yourself. - Mae West

The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work. - Emile Zola

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

God gave us the gift of lie; it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well. - Voltaire

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

It is one thing to be gifted and quite another thing to be worthy of one's own gift. - Nadia Boulanger

The gift of fantasy has meant more to me than my talent for absorbing positive knowledge. - Albert Einstein

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

Polly had a gift for baking pies, and she poured her heart and soul into every one she made. - Sarah Weeks

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied: I wish no gifts, only presence. - Unknown

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present. - Bil Keane

Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker

We are each given a limitless capacity to love and attain wisdom. The extent we use these gifts is our choice. - Anthony Douglas

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

The circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are. - Mewtwo

The older one gets, the more one feels that the present must be enjoyed; it is a precious gift, comparable to a state of grace. - Marie Curie

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. - Eleanor Roosevelt

If someone offers you a gift, and you decline to accept it, the other person still owns that gift. The same is true of insults and verbal attacks. - Steve Pavlina

Only when your consciousness is totally focused on the moment you are in can you receive whatever gift, lesson, or delight that moment has to offer. - Barbara de Angelis


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