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In Stitches

Does your Doctor have a good sense of humour?

In Stitches thanks to Wayne Nowazek

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I told you I was sick. - B.P. Roberts

Gags die, humor doesn't. - Jack Benny

No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

The secret to humor is surprise. - Aristotle

One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

Puns are a form of humor with words. - Guillermo C. Infante

I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali

Humor is a painful thing told playfully. - Charles W Jarvis

Humor is mankind's greatest blessing. - Mark Twain

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

When humor goes, there goes civilization. - Erma Bombeck

Our humor turns our anger into a fine art. - Mary Kay Blakely

Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. - George Burns

I think God has a tremendous sense of humor. - Rainn Wilson

The doctors X-rayed my head an found nothing. - Dizzy Dean

When fate arrives the physician becomes a fool. - Arabic proverb

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

Why do the best doctors have the sickest patients? - Unknown

One should only see a psychiatrist out of boredom. - Muriel Spark

Humor is the affectionate communication of insight. - Leo Rosten

I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist. - Tammy Faye Bakker

Nursing would be a dream job if there were no doctors. - Gerhard Kocher

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman

I'm never sick. Why get sick? It's a waste of time. - Martha Stewart

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

Trips to the dentist - I like to postpone that kind of thing. - Johnny Depp

Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue. - Virginia Woolf

Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined. - Samuel Goldwyn

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain. - Edward de Bono

Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome

I'm so ugly my mother had morning sickness - AFTER I was born. - Rodney Dangerfield

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett

If a patient cannot clean his teeth, no dentist can clean them for him. - Martin H. Fischer

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie. - Rodney Dangerfield

It is said to be the manner of hypochondriacs to change often their physician. - William Cullen

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

I'm not sick, I'm twisted. Sick makes it sound like there's a cure! - Unknown

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

Humour is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood. - Mary Hirsch

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"? - George Carlin

Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

What clinical lectures I will give in heaven, demonstrating the ignorance of doctors! - Israel Zangwill

Virus: a Latin word used by doctors to mean, "Your guess is as good as mine." - Unknown

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

I think superheroes are heroes with flaws, and in their flaws, there is a sense of humor. - Peter Segal

Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer

There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt. - Erma Bombeck

Coaching doesn't make sick people well - it helps healthy people become extra-ordinary. - Thomas Leonard

Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket. - Ambrose Bierce

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. - Joey Adams

If you could choose one characteristic that would get you through life, choose a sense of humor. - Jennifer Jones

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

Humour is our way of defending ourselves from life's absurdities by thinking absurdly about them. - Lewis Mumford

I live at the dentist's. I'm on my third set of teeth that they put in with nails and screws. - Charles N. Reilly

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

Many people find themselves with illness as they become successful: higher blood pressure and diabetes. - Zong Qinghou

Psychiatry is the art of teaching people how to stand on their own two feet while reclining on couches. - Sigmund Freud

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill. - Johnny Carson

I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences. - Brian Kiley

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

The problem with having a sense of humor is often that people you use it on aren't in a very good mood. - Lou Holtz

You go to a psychiatrist when you're slightly cracked and keep going until you're completely cracked. - Unknown

Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman

Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever. - Mark Twain

Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. How many of them will own up to a lack of humor? - Frank Colby

Humour is the weapon of unarmed people: it helps people who are oppressed to smile at the situation that pains them. - Simon Wiesenthal

I chalk up the fact that I got diabetes to my body saying, 'Dude, you have been doing wrong for way too long!' - Randy Jackson

I realize that humor isn't for everyone. It's only for people who want to have fun, enjoy life, and feel alive. - Anne W. Schaef

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

The only weapon with which the unconscious patient can immediately retaliate upon the incompetent surgeon is hemorrhage. - William Stewart Halsted

The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

From New Year's on the outlook brightens; good humor lost in a mood of failure returns. I resolve to stop complaining. - Leonard Bernstein

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

Women, as they grow older, rely more and more on cosmetics. Men, as they grow older, rely more and more on a sense of humor. - George Jean Nathan

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing. - Clive James

Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not, and a sense of humor was provided to console him for what he is. - Horace Walpole

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

Suspense is very important. Even though this is humor and they're short stories, that theory of building suspense is still there. - Sergio Aragones

Humor is a serious thing. I like to think of it as one of our greatest earliest natural resources, which must be preserved at all cost. - James Thurber

My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style. - Maya Angelou

A taste for irony has kept more hearts from breaking than a sense of humor, for it takes irony to appreciate the joke which is on oneself. - Jessamyn West

Smiling is definitely one of the best beauty remedies. If you have a good sense of humor and a good approach to life, that's beautiful. - Rashida Jones

I do not have a psychiatrist and I do not want one, for the simple reason that if he listened to me long enough, he might become disturbed. - James Thurber

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

You've heard of people calling in sick. You may have called in sick a few times yourself. But have you ever thought about calling in well? - Tom Robbins

When you are called to a sick man, be sure you know what the matter is — if you do not know, nature can do a great deal better than you can guess. - Nicholas de Belleville


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