#1 humor site on the 'net

Catch Up With Jesus

Lettuce praise and relish him

Catch Up With Jesus thanks to Ken Ward

QuotaBills
I am the punishment of God. - Genghis Khan

God does not play dice with the universe. - Albert Einstein

Jesus was a hiker. The wilderness was His retreat. - Toni Sorenson

My reason nourishes my faith and my faith my reason. - Norman Cousins

A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on. - Carl Sandburg

Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish. - Albert Einstein

Spring shows what God can do with a drab and dirty world. - Victor Kraft

God, it seems, is a verb, not a noun, proper or improper. - R Buckminster Fuller

I have much more faith in a kind man than I do in mankind. - Unknown

God made rainy days so gardeners could get the housework done. - Unknown

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday. - Woody Allen

I cannot believe in a God who wants to be praised all the time. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

I am as bad as the worst, but, thank God, I am as good as the best. - Walt Whitman

Sandwich every bit of criticism between two heavy layers of praise. - Mary Kay Ash

God doesn't require us to succeed; he only requires that you try. - Mother Teresa

Without faith, a man can do nothing; with it, all things are possible. - William Osler

Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong. - Bible

Give me a couple of pages of the Bible, and I'll give you a picture. - Cecil B. DeMille

Kind hearts are more than coronets
An simple faith than Norman blood. - Alfred Lord Tennyson

Italy is the home of art and swindling; home of religion and moral rottenness. - Mark Twain

If you want to be successful, just meditate, man. God will tell you what people need. - Carlos Santana

I have been all things unholy; if God can work through me, He can work through anyone. - St Francis of Assisi

Observe good faith and justice toward all nations. Cultivate peace and harmony with all. - George Washington

The church is close, but the road is icey. The tavern is far, but I will walk carefully. - Russian Proverb

Canada is founded upon principles that recognize the supremacy of God and the rule of law. - Stockwell Day

I definitely want my son Brooklyn christened, but I don't know into what religion yet. - David Beckham

I always distrust people who know so much about what God wants them to do to their fellows. - Susan B Anthony

There is much in the world to make us afraid. There is much more in our faith to make us unafraid. - Frederick W. Cropp

Where there is hatred, let me sow love. Where there is injury, pardon. Where there is doubt, faith. - Saint Francis of Assisi

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present. - Bil Keane

The task of organized religion is not to prove that God was in the 1st century, but that he is in the 20th. - S.H. Miller

The whole religious complexion of the modern world is due to the absence from Jerusalem of a lunatic asylum. - Havelock Ellis

Let nothing disturb thee,
Let nothing affright thee,
All things are passing,
God changeth never. - Teresa of Ávila

The past is a source of knowledge, and the future is a source of hope. Love of the past implies faith in the future. - Stephen Ambrose

So long as men praise you, you can only be sure that you are not yet on your own true path but on someone else's. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

People are so shocked when they find... out I am Protestant. I am Presbyterian. And I go to church, and I love God, and I love my church. - Donald Trump

God is dead: but considering the state the species Man is in, there will perhaps be caves, for ages yet, in which his shadow will be shown. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Ultimately, America's answer to the intolerant man is diversity, the very diversity which our heritage of religious freedom has inspired. - Robert F. Kennedy

Religions, which condemn the pleasures of sense, drive men to seek the pleasures of power. Throughout history power has been the vice of the ascetic. - Bertrand Russell

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. - Bible


Thin Polar Bear

Hand Tool

Rainbow Beer

They Found Your Balls

Giraffe Pet

Hard Working Cop

Cattle Herding in Africa

Dutch Cowboy

How Bachelors Kill Moths

Tonsil Ring

Portrait Gallery

Piano Dog

The Art Of Politics

Martini Shirt

American Mustache

Wedding Room Dress

Redneck TP

Big Bird Feeder

City Work Crew's Slow Day

Cow Trampoline

Suspicious Blood Donor

Friends In High Places

Hair Cut Toupee

Finger Physio