#1 humor site on the 'net

18 Carat Necklace

She asked her husband for an 18 carat necklace

18 Carat Necklace thanks to Mike King

Edible gift jewelry from a caring Redneck husband

QuotaBills
No pressure, no diamonds. - Mary Case

Speak silver, reply gold. - Swahili Proverb

The name Pavlov rings a bell. - Unknown

Wisdom is better than gold or silver. - German Proverb

I could not get the ring without the finger. - Thomas Middleton

Character is a diamond that scratches every other stone. - Cyrus A. Bartol

Where you stumble and fall, there you discover the gold. - Joseph Campbell

A diamond is the only kind of ice that keeps a girl warm. - Elizabeth Taylor

I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

I'd rather have roses on my table than diamonds on my neck. - Emma Goldman

The sage wears rough clothing and holds the jewel in his heart. - Lao-Tzu

Britain's last gold medal was a bronze in 1952 in Helsinki. - Nigel Starmer-Smith

Everything has its limit - iron ore cannot be educated into gold. - Mark Twain

I like gold because it is a stabilizer; it is an insurance policy. - Kevin O'Leary

A gift diamond shines so much better than one you buy for yourself. - Mae West

A diamond with a flaw is better than a common stone that is perfect. - Chinese Proverb

Proverbs are mental gems gathered in the diamond districts of the mind. - William R. Alger

Contentment, like a flawless diamond, is a valuable and scarce commodity. - Dennis Rainey

Giving your son a skill is better than giving him one thousand pieces of gold. - Chinese Proverb

Freedom rings when you realize you can become what you never thought you could become. - Richie Norton

If more of us cared about food and home above gold, this world would be a merrier place. - Bilbo Baggins

Suddenly you're like a pirate, you're 65 years old and you've got an earring. - Fred Willard

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

The most precious jewels you'll ever have around your neck are the arms of your children. - Unknown

God gives men wisdom as he gives them gold; his treasure house is not the mint, but the mine. - Arabic Proverb

In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet. - Erma Bombeck

Of all sound of all bells... most solemn and touching is the peal which rings out the Old Year. - Charles Lamb

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond. - Mae West

Inside of a ring or out, ain't nothing wrong with going down. It's staying down that's wrong. - Muhammad Ali

The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage. - Mark Russell

Dear Diamond,
We all know who is really a girl's best friend.
Yours sincerely,
Chocolate Cake - Unknown

Her capacity for family affection is extraordinary: when her third husband died, her hair turned quite gold from grief. - Oscar Wilde

Poverty is an anomaly to rich people. It is very difficult to make out why people who want dinner do not ring the bell. - Walter Bagehot

Tooth decay was a perennial problem that meant a mouthful of silver for patients, and for dentists a pocketful of gold. - Claudia Wallis

My dream is for people around the world to look up and to see Canada like a little jewel sitting at the top of the continent. - Tommy Douglas

The diamond may adorn royalty, regardless of personal worth; but jewels of thought render even poverty illustrious and sublime. - Gems for the Fireside

In this year, King Aethelstan, Lord of Warriors, ring-giver to men... won eternal glory, in battle with sword edges, around Brunaburh. - Unknown

With so much to be aware of, awareness bracelets have reverted to signifying nothing more than color itself. Idealism has devolved into fashion. - Timothy Noah

I formed a new group called Alcoholics-Unanimous. If you don't feel like a drink, you ring another member and he comes over to persuade you. - Richard Harris


Multi Task Dad

Twin Load

Sometimes Dads Are Wet For Work

Hospital Friends

Ways to say 'Dad' in Different Languages

Back Massage Track

Baby Sitting

Father Sayings for Father's Day

Desert Soccer Fans

Tight Fit Ship

Dog Fairy Tales

Dad's Ex-Ferrari

Dad's Turn

Sleep-In Dad

'Take Your Kid To Work' Day

Baby Shower

Nose Ring

Dad In Mind

Fresh Breath

Bare Bones Love

I Love Dad

Uplifting Idea

Romantic Accident

Father's Day Selfie