#1 humor site on the 'net

Too Soon

Meeting a man ahead of his time in Hong Kong

Too Soon thanks to joe-kster

Punctuality - where timing is everything

QuotaBills
Vote early and vote often. - Al Capone

The early worm gets caught. - John Igo

The early bird catches the worm. - English Proverb

History is a vast early warning system. - Norman Cousins

The darkest hour has only sixty minutes. - Morris Mandel

Formula for success: rise early, work hard, strike oil. - J Paul Getty

Talk to a man about himself, and he will listen for hours. - Benjamin Disraeli

It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst

A committee is a group that takes minutes and wastes hours. - Unknown

I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators. I left early. - Red Buttons

Natural beauty takes at least two hours in front of a mirror. - Pamela Anderson

I think crime pays. The hours are good, and you travel a lot. - Woody Allen

There are half hours that dilate to the importance of centuries. - Mary Catherwood

His insomnia was so bad, he couldn't sleep during office hours. - Arthur Baer

If you get a reputation as an early riser, you can sleep till noon. - Irish Proverb

On average it takes 10,000 hours of practice to truly master a skill. - Malcolm Gladwell

I spent seven hours in a beauty shop... and that was for the estimate. - Phyllis Diller

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. - Steven Wright

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it. - Franklin P. Jones

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes. - Oscar Wilde

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon. - Woody Allen

When you're in love, it's the most glorious two-and-a-half minutes of your life. - Richard Lewis

It's the Olympics. If you can't get up to swim early in the morning, don't go. - Michael Phelps

Early on, if I was alone two or three nights in a row, I'd start writing poems about suicide. - Jack Nicholson

A good solution applied with vigor now is better than a perfect solution applied ten minutes later. - George S Patton

By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day. - Robert Frost

I took a speed reading course and read "War and Peace" in twenty minutes. It involves Russia. - Woody Allen

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will make me go in a corner and cry by myself for hours. - Eric Idle

I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird and not enough the bad luck of the early worm. - Franklin D Roosevelt

Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in. - Brendan Behan

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

I spend hours mowing the lawn in absolutely straight lines on my tractor. If it's not right, I do it again. - Britt Ekland

I was a Democrat for a period of time early on. And then I was also an independent. And then I became a Republican. - Donald Trump

There's an upside to grandparenthood. You play, you give, you love, then you hand them back and go to an early movie. - Billy Crystal

I have a microwave fireplace in my house... The other night I laid down in front of the fire for the evening in two minutes. - Steven Wright

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

Under the present circumstances, I would rather be a lap dancer than a woman MP - the hours are better and unruly male members are shown the door. - Allison Pearson

In the game of life, it's a good idea to have a few early losses, which relieves you of the pressure of trying to maintain an undefeated season. - Bill Vaughan

We spend precious hours fearing the inevitable. It would be wise to use that time adoring our families, cherishing our friends and living our lives. - Maya Angelou


Amish Smart Car

Sitting on the Hot Seat

Redneck Wiener Roast

Free Trip To Heaven

Is There a Hell For Animals?

Double Line Parking

Without Government

Nose For Coke

Crisp Chips

3 Stages Of A Man's Life

Tipsy Crane

Clear View

Redneck Ladder

Home Depot Delivery

Taco Bell Secret Seasoning

Are You OK?

Downchuck

Rickshaw Workout

Tenacity

Annual Meeting of Women Drivers

Bach Flip

Alien Smuggling

The Three Stooges In And Out Of Character

Teamwork