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Three Cats Ago

Going back many years ago when you were normal

Three Cats Ago thanks to Wayne Nowazek

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You gotta be kitten me. - Unknown

Stress makes you stupid. - Unknown

All cats appear grey in the dark. - English Proverb

When the cat's away, the mice will play. - French Proverb

A cat bitten once by a snake dreads even rope. - Arab Proverb

A spotless house is a sign of a misspent life. - Unknown

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

A chip on the shoulder is a sure sign of wood higher up. - Brigham Young

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? - George Carlin

I made a killing on Wall Street a few years ago. I shot my broker. - Groucho Marx

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman

Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness. - Richard Carlson

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

The trouble with a kitten is that when it grows up, it's always a cat. - Ogden Nash

When rats infest the palace, a lame cat is better than the swiftest horse. - Chinese Proverb

The sign said "eight items or less." So I changed my name to Les. - Steven Wright

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function. - Garrison Keillor

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. - Groucho Marx

It doesn't matter if a cat is black or white, so long as it catches mice. - Deng Xiaoping

When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam,
May luck be yours on Halloween. - Unknown

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back. - Will Rogers

If you're not failing now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe. - Woody Allen

If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man, but deteriorate the cat. - Mark Twain

Sleep is like my cat. I can call him by his name, but he still won't come to me. - Shane Koyczan

I'm having difficulty getting the doctors around here to sign the appropriate form. - Spike Milligan

If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign? - Albert Einstein

Without my Vulcan cat suit, Frankenstein wig and pointed ears, I don't get recognized. - Jolene Blalock

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. - Mark Twain

I saw a sign: "Rest Area 25 Miles". That's pretty big. Some people must be really tired. - Steven Wright

Sixty years ago I knew everything. Now I know nothing. Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance. - Will Durant

Many years ago I resolved never to bother with New Year's resolutions, and I've stuck with it ever since. - Dave Beard

She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman. - Oscar Wilde

Who is apt, on occasion, to assign a multitude of reasons when one will do? This is a sure sign of weakness in argument. - Harriet Martineau

We split from our common ancestor with the octopus half a billion years ago. And yet, you can make friends with an octopus. - Sy Montgomery

Once in seven years I burn all my sermons; for it is a shame if I cannot write better sermons now than I did seven years ago. - John Wesley

No, I think that was when Abraham Lincoln signed the Declaration of Independence. Ya know, "Fourscore and 7 years ago." - Archie Bunker

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton


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