#1 humor site on the 'net

Three Cats Ago

Going back many years ago when you were normal

Three Cats Ago thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Curiosity killed the cat. - English Proverb

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

Meow means "woof" in cat. - George Carlin

When the cat's away, the mice will play. - French Proverb

A cat bitten once by a snake dreads even rope. - Arab Proverb

A chip on the shoulder is a sure sign of wood higher up. - Brigham Young

Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind. - Terry Pratchett

I made a killing on Wall Street a few years ago. I shot my broker. - Groucho Marx

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman

It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump

Stress is an important dragon to slay - or at least tame - in your life. - Marilu Henner

Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness. - Richard Carlson

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function. - Garrison Keillor

A sign of celebrity is that his name is often worth more than his services. - Daniel J. Boorstin

The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives. - Mark Twain

I got something important here to read and sign and I gotta consecrate on that. - Archie Bunker

To be satisfied with yourself is a sure sign that your forward motion has stopped. - Unknown

If you're not failing now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe. - Woody Allen

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

Contradiction is not a sign of falsity, nor the lack of contradiction a sign of truth. - Blaise Pascal

The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it. - Doug Larson

If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign? - Albert Einstein

Without my Vulcan cat suit, Frankenstein wig and pointed ears, I don't get recognized. - Jolene Blalock

Always the cat remains a little beyond the limits we try to set for him in our blind folly. - Andre Norton

A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. - Charles Darwin

Years ago, I predicted that Iran would take over Iraq. Iran and Iraq used to fight back and forth. - Donald Trump

Three years ago I came to Florida without a nickel in my pocket. Now I've got a nickel in my pocket. - Groucho Marx

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. - Calvin

Sixty years ago I knew everything. Now I know nothing. Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance. - Will Durant

Many years ago I resolved never to bother with New Year's resolutions, and I've stuck with it ever since. - Dave Beard

I will be deafer than the blue-eyed cat, And thrice as blind as any noonday owl, To holy virgins in their ecstasies. - Lord Alfred Tennyson

A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded, "Take me to the Canaries." - Bob Monkhouse

We split from our common ancestor with the octopus half a billion years ago. And yet, you can make friends with an octopus. - Sy Montgomery

The greatest sign of success for a teacher is to be able to say, "The children are now working as if I did not exist." - Maria Montessori

A man’s life is interesting primarily when he has failed – I well know. For it’s a sign that he tried to surpass himself. - Georges Clemenceau

Keep your sense of humor. There's enough stress in the rest of your life to let bad shots ruin a game you're supposed to enjoy. - Amy Alcott

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain


Thin Polar Bear

Hand Tool

Rainbow Beer

They Found Your Balls

Giraffe Pet

Hard Working Cop

Cattle Herding in Africa

Dutch Cowboy

How Bachelors Kill Moths

Tonsil Ring

Portrait Gallery

Piano Dog

The Art Of Politics

Martini Shirt

American Mustache

Wedding Room Dress

Redneck TP

Big Bird Feeder

City Work Crew's Slow Day

Cow Trampoline

Suspicious Blood Donor

Friends In High Places

Hair Cut Toupee

Finger Physio