#1 humor site on the 'net

Texas 4 Months Apart

French Street under seige

Texas 4 Months Apart thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Texas is as odd as it is vast. - Henry Rollins

Weather forecast for tonight: dark. - George Carlin

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted. - Mae West

You bring your own weather to the picnic. - Harlan Coben

You can always tell a Texan, but not much. - Unknown

Cursing the weather is never good farming. - English Proverb

Where does the white go when the snow melts? - Hugh Kieffer

Climate is what we expect. Weather is what we get. - Mark Twain

Texas is a hotbed of insanely good bands and musicians. - Henry Rollins

In plain Texas talk, it's 'do the right thing'. - Ross Perot

So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings. - JRR Tolkien

I'm super laid back. I'm from Texas. I love my family. - Selena Gomez

It is best to read the weather forecasts before we pray for rain. - Mark Twain

This is perfect weather for today's game. Not a breath of air. - Curt Gowdy

The folks in Mississippi are saying, 'Thank God for Texas.' - Kinky Friedman

Jon Snow: I'm not afraid to die.
Mormont: Nor life, I hope. - George R.R. Martin

Conversation about the weather is the last refuge of the unimaginative. - Oscar Wilde

She walked across the ballroom as if she were trudging through deep snow. - Noel Coward

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans. - George Carlin

Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine. - Anthony J. D'Angelo

News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch

The landscape of Texas is in all my work. It's that light; it's that sky. - Robert Wilson

How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design? - Kinky Friedman

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining. - Groucho Marx

Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called 'walking.' - George W. Bush

There's one good thing about snow: it makes your lawn look as nice as your neighbor's. - Clyde Moore

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

It's not my fault I was dragged out of my house by a mob and forced to predict the weather. - Punxsutawney Phil

Just 'cause there's snow in the basement don't mean there ain't no fire in the roof! - Archie Bunker

Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them seemed to come from Texas. - Ian Fleming

The Eskimos had fifty-two names for snow because it was important to them: there ought to be as many for love. - Margaret Atwood

The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff

A mighty fortress is our God,
A bulwark never failing;
Our helper He,
amid the flood of mortal ills prevailing. - Martin Luther

Don't knock the weather. Nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while. - Kin Hubbard

The trouble with weather forecasting is that it's right too often for us to ignore it, and wrong too often for us to rely on it. - Patrick Young

Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. - Leonardo da Vinci

NBC News just called it "The Great Freeze" - coldest weather in years. Is our country still spending money on the global warming hoax? - Donald Trump

Ring out the old, ring in the new,
Ring, happy bells, across the snow:
The year is going, let him go;
Ring out the false, ring in the true. - Lord Alfred Tennyson

The pleasure of jogging and running is rather like that of wearing a fur coat in Texas in August: the true joy comes in being able to take the damn thing off. - Joseph Epstein

The ancient feud between cat and dog is not forgotten in the north, for the Lynx is the deadly foe of the Fox and habitually kills it when there is soft snow and scarcity of easier prey. - Ernest T. Seton


Playground Drivers

Trunk Drinkers

Foamtastic

Pyramid Kiss

What Goes Round Comes Round

Mistaken Door

Cleanup

Leave Toes Outside

Google Age

Meat Loaf

Heavy Sleeper

So Close

Economy Flight

StandOut Island

Poor Fishing Day

Is Your Diaper Full?

Lunch Break on a Hot Day

Moving Level Pro

Plain Plane School

Wireframe Dog

SUV Sinkhole

Wireless Doorbells Sitting On Their Chargers

Smoke Coolant

Front Row Seats