Santa Claus as a Farmer
Ten reasons supporting Santa's farming background
Reasons why Santa Claus could have been a farmer
1. He works all year, just to give his stuff away.
2. He's good with livestock.
3. He knows how to get by with the same equipment season after season.
4. He works outside, even in bad weather.
5. He's good with kids.
6. His wife is an excellent cook.
7. He could stand to lose a few pounds (sea reason #6).
8. He's used to getting in and out of tight places.
9. He covers a lot of ground in a hurry when the pressure is on.
10. He takes care of the needs of the whole world.
Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker
Cursing the weather is never good farming. - English Proverb
A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown
I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages? - George Carlin
Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund
No farmer ever plowed a field by turning it over in his mind. - George E. Woodbury
I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan
Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge
Writing is conscience, scruple, and the farming of our ancestors. - Edward Dahlberg
Traveling through hyperspace ain't like dusting crops, farm boy. - Han Solo
The farmer allows walkers across the field for free, but the bull charges. - Unknown
A good farmer is nothing more nor less than a handyman with a sense of humus. - E.B. White
Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard
Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin
If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway
Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson
I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller
True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker
If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown
If a farmer fills his barn with grain, he gets mice; if he leaves it empty, he gets actors. - Bill Vaughan
The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright
I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright
The first farmer was the first man, and all historic nobility rests on possession and use of land. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby
The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes
If the rain spoils our picnic, but saves a farmer's crop, who are we to say it shouldn't rain? - Tom Barrett
There are only three things that can kill a farmer: lightning, rolling over in a tractor, and old age. - Bill Bryson
The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan
Farming looks mighty easy when your plow is a pencil and you're a thousand miles from the corn field. - Dwight D Eisenhower
I'm a farm boy. If we need five people to haul in hay, we don't take one and just work them to death. - Lincoln Davis
Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey
I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put
the batteries. - Milton Berle
A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor
Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump
The only difference between a pigeon and the American farmer today is that a pigeon can still make a deposit on a John Deere. - Jim Hightower
I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple