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Nice Try, China

Heavy Dtuy Wrench

Nice Try, China thanks to Wayne Nowazek

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Too clever is dumb. - Ogden Nash

The eyes have one language everywhere. - George Herbert

Clever men are good, but they are not the best. - Thomas Carlyle

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley

I just love Chinese food. My favorite dish is number 27. - Clement Attlee

I never make stupid mistakes. Only very, very clever ones. - Unknown

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. - Buck Henry

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. - Mark Twain

For most folks, no news is good news; for the press, good news is not news. - Gloria Borger

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde

A gorilla with a cellphone riding a bicycle is bound to generate some clever captions. - Steve Breen

A clever person turns great troubles into little ones and little ones into none at all. - Chinese proverb

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying. - Oscar Wilde

It is better to be making the news than taking it; to be an actor rather than a critic. - Winston Churchill

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

When my friends and I played cowboys and Indians, I was always the Chinese railroad worker. - Robin Williams

Because the Empire controls the media, we can turn any news to the Emperor's advantage. - Daniel Wallace

The first man to use abusive language instead of his fists was the founder of civilization. - Sigmund Freud

One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say. - Will Durant

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

Violence of language leads to violence of action. Angry men seldom fight if their tongues do not lead the fray. - Charles V Roman

Why don't you put that in the headline: "He Only Did Three With Doris!" Set a lot of people straight. - Rock Hudson

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

If the English language made any sense, 'lackadaisical' would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. - Doug Larson

Morals are an acquirement - like music, like a foreign language, like piety, poker, paralysis - no man is born with them. - Mark Twain

When was the last time anybody saw us beating, let's say, China in a trade deal? They kill us. I beat China all the time. - Donald Trump

The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart. - Nelson Mandela

As you've noticed, people don't want to be sold. What people do want is news and information about the things they care about. - Larry Weber

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers

Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus

NBC News just called it "The Great Freeze" - coldest weather in years. Is our country still spending money on the global warming hoax? - Donald Trump

Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


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