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Missing Mother-In-Law

Florida begins clean up after storm battering

Missing Mother-In-Law thanks to Emery Pettigrove

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Fearlessness is the mother of reinvention. - Arianna Huffington

You trust your mother, but you cut the cards. - Unknown

Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother. - Oprah Winfrey

You're not famous until my mother has heard of you. - Jay Leno

Jesus was a Jew, yes, but only on his mother's side. - Archie Bunker

The titular head... that's the mother, ain't it? - Archie Bunker

Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. - Hubert Humphrey

A mother's arms are more comforting than anyone else's. - Princess Diana

Her mother was a cultivated woman - she was born in a greenhouse. - Spike Milligan

Cooking certain dishes, like roast pork, reminds me of my mother. - Maya Angelou

Adam was the luckiest man in the world - he had no mother-in-law. - Sholom Aleichem

Whatsoever was the father of a disease, an ill diet was the mother. - George Herbert

It's not easy being a mother. If it were easy, fathers would do it. - Dorothy

No one else, ever, will think you're great the way your mother does. - Mary Matalin

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it. - Mark Twain

My mother hated me. Once she took me to an orphanage and told me to mingle. - Phyllis Diller

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him to sleep. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well. I was amazed - I never knew they worked. - Les Dawson

I not only think we tamper with Mother Nature, I think that Mother Nature wants us to. - Willard Gatlin

My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. - Les Dawson

One of the most important things a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - Ray Chenoweth

No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement. - Florida Scott-Maxwell

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day. - Jay Leno

It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding. - Erma Bombeck

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

They want people like your mother down there because they know they ain't got no pre-conscrewed ideas. - Archie Bunker

My mother always used to say, "The older you get, the better you get. Unless you're a banana." - Betty White

So long as the mother, ignorance, lives, it is not safe for science, the offspring, to divulge the hidden cause of things. - Johannes Kepler

In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar

To describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane in its perfect power. Or the climbing, falling colors of a rainbow. - Maya Angelou

I think Mick Jagger would be astounded and amazed if he realized that to many people he is not a sex symbol, but a mother image. - David Bowie

Fearlessness requires attention and receptivity - it takes focus to stand in the still eye of a tornado and not be swept away by it. - Susan Piver

My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

Education commences on the mother's knee, and every word spoken within hearsay of little children tends toward the formation of character. - Hosea Ballou

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller

Chutzpa is that quality enshrined in a man who, having killed his mother and father, throws himself on the mercy of the court because he is an orphan. - Leo Rosten


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