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My family tree could use some pruning. - Unknown

Trees often transplanted seldom prosper. - Flemish Proverb

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

If you hate where you are, move - you are not a tree. - Unknown

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. - Joan Rivers

I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree. - Joyce Kilmer

Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come. - Chinese Proverb

Children really brighten up a household. They never turn the lights off. - Ralph Bus

Death is just a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees. - J.J. Furnas

There was nothing in the dark that wasn't there when the lights were on. - Rod Serling

Learn not to talk to me. You shake the tree, a leopard's going to fall out. - Kobe Bryant

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

Each has his own tree of ancestors, but at the top of all sits Probably Arboreal. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Southerners are so devoted to genealogy that we see a family tree under every bush. - Florence King

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

A cold wind was blowing from the north, and it made the trees rustle like living things. - George R.R. Martin

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them. - Bill Vaughan

Transplanting the ballet to the United States is like trying to raise a palm tree in Dakota. - Lincoln Kirsten

The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. - Thomas Jefferson

If you reveal your secrets to the wind, don't blame the wind for revealing them to the trees. - Unknown

The difference between a gun and a tree is a difference of tempo. The tree explodes every spring. - Ezra Pound

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. - Unknown

You get the best effort from others not by lighting a fire beneath them, but by building a fire within. - Bob Nelson

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. - John Muir

Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing. - Abraham Lincoln

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

You can't be suspicious of a tree, or accuse a bird or a squirrel of subversion or challenge the ideology of a violet. - Hal Borland

When anyone asks me about the Irish character, I say look at the trees. Maimed, stark and misshapen, but ferociously tenacious. - Unknown

I glanced out the window at the signs of spring. The sky was almost blue, the trees were almost budding, the sun was almost bright. - Millard Kaufman

I think trees should bloom earlier in the spring. They act like they are on a schedule. It’s not like they have anywhere to go. - Jarod Kintz

On the top of the Crumpetty Tree
The Quangle Wangle sat,
But his face you could not see,
On account of his Beaver Hat. - Edward Lear

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. - Albert Einstein

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. - George Carlin

I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree;
Perhaps, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all. - Ogden Nash

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown


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