#1 humor site on the 'net

He Did It

Tracking down the kitchen culprits

He Did It thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
France is a dog-hole. - William Shakespeare

Thank God kids never mean well. - Lily Tomlin

All children are essentially criminal. - Denis Diderot

The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown

Dogs that bark at a distance never bite. - Unknown

The soul is healed by being with children. - Fyodor Dostoyevski

Familiarity breeds contempt - and children. - Mark Twain

It takes an entire village to raise a child. - African Proverb

What is this, an audience or an oil painting? - Milton Berle

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman

The best thing to spend on your children is your time. - Louise Hart

Children should neither be seen nor heard from - ever again. - WC Fields

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

I look in the mirror through the eyes of the child that was me. - Judy Collins

I don't teach my children what is Hindu and what is Muslim. - Shah Rukh Khan

Never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed. - Maria Montessori

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children. - Robert Benchley

The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs. - Alphonse de Lamartine

A dog is the only thing on this earth that loves you more than he loves himself. - Josh Billings

All kids need is a little help, a little hope, and somebody who believes in them. - Earvin "Magic" Johnson

As a child, I always chose a false nose and some face paint and a wig for my birthday. - Ashley Jensen

Hopefully, kids realize you can do anything you want. Skateboarding can be that gateway. - Ryan Sheckler

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

The most precious jewels you'll ever have around your neck are the arms of your children. - Unknown

Some painters transform the sun into a yellow spot, others transform a yellow spot into the sun. - Pablo Picasso

While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about. - Angela Schwindt

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs. - Christopher Hampton

As a child, I was subjected to a lot of spaghetti Westerns and hated them. I wanted the Indians to win. - Kara Walker

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

We ought to be doing all we can to make it possible for every child to fulfill his or her God-given potential. - Hillary Rodham Clinton

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

If there be a God, I think that what he would like me to do is paint as much of the map of Africa British red as possible. - Cecil Rhodes

Children despise their parents until the age of forty, when they suddenly become just like them, thus preserving the system. - Quentin Crewe

You know your kids are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going. - P.J. O'Rourke

I've seen whales calving in the waters off Maui, and I've watched my children being born. But music is the most beautiful thing of all. - Steven Tyler


Grass Room

Row Your Goat

Moment Just Before Being Soaked... @ T - 1

Bridge Claimed Another One

Woman-Riding Man

Thin Polar Bear

Hand Tool

Rainbow Beer

They Found Your Balls

Giraffe Pet

Hard Working Cop

Cattle Herding in Africa

Dutch Cowboy

How Bachelors Kill Moths

Tonsil Ring

Portrait Gallery

Piano Dog

The Art Of Politics

Martini Shirt

American Mustache

Wedding Room Dress

Redneck TP

Big Bird Feeder

City Work Crew's Slow Day