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Christmas Fireplace Tip

Placing empty boxes under the Christmas tree

Christmas Fireplace Tip thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Placebo Christmas presents for naughty children

QuotaBills
Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

Courage is fire, and bullying is smoke. - Benjamin Disraeli

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

Since the house is on fire let us warm ourselves. - Italian Proverb

Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice. - Robert Frost

Tell the men to fire faster and not give up the ship. - Captain James Lawrence

If someone's lying, are their pants really on fire? - Jerry Seinfeld

Words are only painted fire; a book is the fire itself. - Mark Twain

Your children need your presence more than your presents. - Jesse Jackson

Love is friendship set on fire. Hate is friendship burned. - Jeremy Taylor

People who fight fire with fire usually end up with ashes. - Abigail Van Buren

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

Modesty is not only an ornament, but also a guard to virtue. - Joseph Addison

Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds. - Buddha

Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire. - William Butler Yeats

Yesterday is ashes; tomorrow wood. Only today does the fire burn brightly. - Eskimo Proverb

Opportunity does not knock. It presents itself when you beat down the door. - Unknown

Contentment consisteth not in adding more fuel, but in taking away some fire. - Thomas Fuller

Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice. - Ethel Merman

As soon go kindle fire with snow, as seek to quench the fire of love with words. - William Shakespeare

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place. - Steven Wright

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? - Unknown

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. - Joan Crawford

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out. - Dolly Parton

Doubt thou the stars are fire,
Doubt that the sun doth move,
Doubt truth to be a liar,
But never doubt I love. - William Shakespeare

In case of fire, don't panic. Simply flee the building with the same reckless abandon that occurs each day at quitting time. - Don Delcourt

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple

You don't have to say everything to be a light. Sometimes a fire built on a hill will bring interested people to your campfire. - Shannon L. Alder

At fifty, the madwoman in the attic breaks loose, stomps down the stairs, and sets fire to the house. She won't be imprisoned anymore. - Erica Jong

Wise sayings are not only for ornament, but for action and business, having a point or edge, whereby knots in business are pierced and discovered. - Lord Francis Bacon


Duct Tape - for a Prettier World

Don't Get Your Head In A Knot

Cornfield Fishing

Dawn Gone

Highest Human Position In The World

Together Since

You Never Call

CLUMSY Driver

Water Short

Post Research

Motorcycle Taxi

Columbia Street Party

Fly By Meal

Down Day

Hanging Out With Friends

You Want Me To Do What?

Mirror Lake

Kitchen Thing

Light Road

Coffee Spoon

Show Stopper

Water Judge

Litter of DalCations

Fitness On The Bus