#1 humor site on the 'net

Behind Curtain Number One

Looking out for better days to come

Behind Curtain Number One thanks to Wayne Nowazek

How to change winter into spring

QuotaBills
Weather forecast for tonight: dark. - George Carlin

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted. - Mae West

Illusion is the first of all pleasures. - Oscar Wilde

Cursing the weather is never good farming. - English Proverb

Where does the white go when the snow melts? - Hugh Kieffer

Despite the forecast, live like it's spring. - Lilly Pulitzer

The New Year begins in a snow-storm of white vows. - George William Curtis

An end is in sight to the severe weather shortage. - Ian Macaskill

An iron curtain has descended across the continent. - Winston Churchill

Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion. - Miguel de Unamuno

So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings. - JRR Tolkien

Illusion is the dust the devil throws in the eyes of the foolish. - Minna Antrim

This is perfect weather for today's game. Not a breath of air. - Curt Gowdy

Some of my best friends are illusions. Been sustaining me for years. - Sheila Ballantyne

Conversation about the weather is the last refuge of the unimaginative. - Oscar Wilde

Our separation from each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. - Albert Einstein

Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine. - Anthony J. D'Angelo

News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch

Like the cosmetics industry, the securities business is engaged in selling illusion. - Paul Samuelson

Advice from your friends is like the weather, some of it is good, some of it is bad. - Unknown

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance - it is the illusion of knowledge. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure. - Scott Adams

I don't make plans, because life is short and unpredictable - much like the weather. - Al Roker

Wishes and fears are illusions, Dil Bahadur, not realities. You must practice detachment. - Isabel Allende

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up. - Groucho Marx

There's one good thing about snow: it makes your lawn look as nice as your neighbor's. - Clyde Moore

Who has not sat before his own heart's curtain? It lifts: and the scenery is falling apart. - Rainer M. Rilke

Just 'cause there's snow in the basement don't mean there ain't no fire in the roof! - Archie Bunker

Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist but you have ceased to live. - Mark Twain

Dreams or illusions, call them what you will, they lift us from the commonplace of life to better things. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Be careful not to complain about anything, even the weather, since I am the Author of your circumstances. - Sarah Young

Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions; reality can be attained only by someone who is detached. - Simone Weil

Advice is like snow, the softer it falls the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain. - Robert Frost

They invented the three-day bank holiday weekend because you can't lump all the bad weather into just Saturday and Sunday. - Unknown

Don't knock the weather. Nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while. - Kin Hubbard

We would rather be ruined than changed. We would rather die in our dread than climb the cross of the moment and let our illusions die. - W H Auden

Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. - Leonardo da Vinci

NBC News just called it "The Great Freeze" - coldest weather in years. Is our country still spending money on the global warming hoax? - Donald Trump


Five Pound Note

Selena Stopmez

AirHeads

Redneck Power Windows

Race Break

Mirror Fence

Look Both Ways

No-iPhone Kids

Dog Haircut

Loose Lips Sink Ships

Donkey Refill

Self Portrait for Squirrels

Coin Stacking

Hooking Penalty

Zebra Bus Stop

Best Friend Theft

Chewie, We're Home

Police Rides

Bird Smoker

Hot Mexican Deals

Coffin Escape

African Airlines

Who Let The Dogs Out?

Autographed Copy