#1 humor site on the 'net

Wash Day On The Farm

Mom would give the boys a bath once a year whether they needed it or not

Wash Day On The Farm thanks to Wayne Nowazek

The Good Old Days - Bathing in a galvanized iron tub

QuotaBills
Do your kids a favor - don't have any. - Robert Orben

I love shark week, all kids swim for free. - Josh Stern

With kids, the days are long, but the years are short. - John Leguizamo

Kids are life's only guaranteed bona fide upside surprise. - Jack Nicholson

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up. - Christopher Morley

Traveling through hyperspace ain't like dusting crops, farm boy. - Han Solo

Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex. - Bill Maher

Raising kids make most people, including me, grow up at least a little. - Madonna

All kids are gifted: some just open their packages earlier than others. - Michael Carr

It never fails - you get in the bath and there's a rub at the lamp. - Robin Williams

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and radio. - Rodney Dangerfield

Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music. - William Stafford

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any. - Fred Astaire

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

A rich person should leave his kids enough to do something, but not enough to do nothing. - Warren Buffet

If we would listen to our kids, we'd discover that they are largely self-explanatory. - Robert Brault

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz

You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

Field hockey is my strongest sport, and if I lose a game, I take a long, hot bath and moan about it. - Emma Watson

All kids are trouble, Edith. And I don't wanna spend my reclining years trying to raise another one. - Archie Bunker

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman

I'm a farm boy. If we need five people to haul in hay, we don't take one and just work them to death. - Lincoln Davis

Here lies my past.
Good-bye I have kissed it;
Thank you, kids.
I wouldn’t have missed it. - Ogden Nash

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. - Jarod Kintz

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

Of course motivation is not permanent. But then, neither is bathing; but it is something you should do on a regular basis. - Zig Ziglar

There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the bogeyman or Michael Jackson. - Bart Simpson

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

When it comes to hockey, it's been in my blood since I was 3 or 4 years old. I love coaching the kids, especially at that level. - Mario Lemieux

If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali

I've got this thing for spicy stuff. Now, if you give me hot chocolate with chili pepper, a book and a bubble bath, I'm a happy girl. - Shiloh Walker

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

Summer is a drag because even normal people become obsessed with their bodies. A bad bathing suit can humiliate you more tan anything else in life. - Conan O'Brien

Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer


Winter Chair

Original Homeland Security - 2nd Amendment

2019 Hooters Owl & Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Scenic Western Pennsylvania

Colour Pencils

Redneck Chandelier

Umbrella Stand-ard

Another Day In Traffic

Stevie Wonder Games

We Haul It All

Moose Parking

I Shoot People!

My Life Goal

Teach Our Children Well

Real Crocodile Leather

Mermaid Mailbox

Oxford Style

Something Witty

Surf's Up

Frozen Eyelashes

Solar System Watch

Winter Ready

Rush Job Calendar

Husband Makes Lunch