#1 humor site on the 'net

Waiting For The Perfect Man

Jilted bride still keeps hope alive

Waiting For The Perfect Man thanks to Wayne Nowazek

She waited a long time for the right man to come around

QuotaBills
Marriage is heaven and hell. - German Proverb

Marry in haste, repent at leisure. - English Proverb

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - American Saying

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse! - Groucho Marx

There is nothing so difficult to marry as a large nose. - Oscar Wilde

In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - Rita Rudner

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. - Unknown

Now a soft kiss; Aye, by that kiss, I vow an endless bliss. - John Keats

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

Before you marry keep both eyes open; after marriage shut one. - Jamaican Proverb

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years. - Sam Kinison

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of. - Mae West

There's one thing about a late marriage - it doesn't last long. - Unknown

I was going to marry a gardener, but he was too rough around the hedges. - Unknown

I am married to Beatrice Salkeld, a painter. We have no children, except me. - Brendan Behan

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor

A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it. - John Steinbeck

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time. - Anne Taylor Fleming

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

You don't know that you'll ever have to talk about the skeleton in your closet. - Mark McGwire

My act is sort of improvisational. I have a skeleton in my head, but no fat or skin on it. - Paula Poundstone

Every time I try to make my marriage more exciting, my wife finds out about it right away. - Bob Monkhouse

I've been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take out the garbage. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

If you meet someone who can cook and do housework, don't hesitate a minute - marry him! - Rita Rudner

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked. - Phyllis Diller

When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories. - John Wilmot

The Irish Catholic side was married to the life of an actor and I found out acting could be a form of prayer. - Liam Neeson

Marriage always demands the greatest understanding of the art of insincerity possible between two human beings. - Vicki Baum

Marriage is like a beleaguered fortress: those who are outside want to get in, and those inside want to get out. - French Proverb

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me. - Elayne Boosler

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them. - Ogden Nash

Everyone has a skeleton in their closet. The difference between Bill Clinton and myself is that he has a walk-in closet. - Pat Buchanan

Getting married is easy. Staying married is more difficult. Staying happily married for a lifetime should rank among the fine arts. - Roberta Flack

Fraud in business is no different from infidelity in marriage or plagiarism in scholarly work. Even people committed to high moral standards succumb. - Miroslav Volf


Wet T-Shirt Contest Winners

Cheating Husband

Stuck On High Gear

Bottom Blast Car Wash

Yo Mama Bin Shopping

Gangsta

Helmet Full Of Hair

Air Conditioner Repair

Redneck Towing

Walking His Fresh Food Pet

Japanese Tea Bath

Redneck Daycare

Hedge Hunter

Pilot Prop Job

Front To Side View

Moses' USB Tablets

Family Photo

Is Laughter The Best Medicine?

Plastered Wall Plasterer

Waffle Board

Stairway Repair

Cowboy Bubble Bath

Trunk Load

Centennial Puff