#1 humor site on the 'net

unbirdlievable

Caps and hats for birding enthusiasts

unbirdlievable thanks to Karen Moore

Birding 101 - How to start birdwatching

QuotaBills
The freedom of birds is an insult to me. - Cormac McCarthy

Was there a bird for the souls of people like me? - Ruta Sepetys

The bird a nest, the spider a web, man friendship. - William Blake

Love is the magician that pulls man out of his own hat. - Ben Hecht

The early bird gets the worm. The early worm gets eaten. - Norman Augustine

The bird is powered by its own life and by its motivation. - Abdul Kalam

I never wanted to weigh more heavily on a man than a bird. - Coco Chanel

If one cannot catch the bird of paradise, better take a wet hen. - Nikita Krushchev

A bird in the hand is a certainty, but a bird in the bush may sing. - Bret Harte

Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come. - Chinese Proverb

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. - Steven Wright

The early bird would never catch the worm if the dumb worm slept late. - Milton Berle

In order to see birds it is necessary to become a part of the silence. - Robert Lynd

Though what bird in the best of circumstances does not look a little stricken? - Lorrie Moore

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it. - Steven Wright

The structure of a play is always the story of how the birds come home to roost. - Arthur Miller

The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door. - Demetri Martin

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer; it sings because it has a song. - Lou Holtz

It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up. - Muhammad Ali

I am no bird; and no net ensnares me; I am a free human being with an independent will. - Charlotte Bronte

My husband, Fang, is so dumb I once said, "There's a dead bird." He looked up. - Phyllis Diller

Be grateful for luck. Pay the thunder no mind. Listen to the birds. And don't hate nobody. - Eubie Blake

I have an unbelievable assistant who handles all of my scheduling. It's like a Tetris game. - Neil P. Harris

A bird that you set free may be caught again, but a word that escapes your lips will not return. - Jewish Proverb

We could not understand that there was anything about a bird that could not be built on a larger scale. - Orville Wright

There is nothing so strange and so unbelievable that it has not been said by one philosopher or another. - Rene Descartes

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash

I wish I could stand on a busy street corner, hat in hand and beg people to throw me all of their wasted hours. - Bernard Berenson

I love Canada. It makes a nice hat for America. When America runs out of water, it's the first place I'll go. - Ryan Reynolds

The reason birds can fly and we can't is simply because they have perfect faith, for to have faith is to have wings. - J.M. Barrie

You can't be suspicious of a tree, or accuse a bird or a squirrel of subversion or challenge the ideology of a violet. - Hal Borland

You are Mr. Owl. I am Ms. Hummingbird. We may come from different species but as long as you're a bird, I'm a bird too. - Glad Munaiseche

The moment a little boy is concerned with which is a jay and which is a sparrow, he can no longer see the birds or hear them sing. - Eric Berne

On the top of the Crumpetty Tree
The Quangle Wangle sat,
But his face you could not see,
On account of his Beaver Hat. - Edward Lear

A male frigate bird blows up a wild red pouch on his neck. He can keep it puffed up for hours. It is his way of impressing the girls. - Julie Murphy

If I were a flower,
humming bird would be my favourite bee
And If I were blind,
the light of darkness I'd love to see - Munia Khan

A politician should have three hats. One for throwing into the ring, one for talking through, and one for pulling rabbits out of if elected. - Carl Sandburg

This was a very classy guy - in a sharp coat there, one of them velvet collars, and of of them pearl-gray hamburgers on his head (Homburg hat). - Archie Bunker


Foot Care

Guitar Dog

Cutout Coin Silhouettes

Tree Tattoo

Alt-Ctrl-Del Pillows

Portable GPS

Australian Cyclist

Helicopter Cuts

Holland Bike Lane - For Pros Only

Twins' First Piano Lesson

Foosball for Girls

Youth Walk

Last Selfie

Broccoli Muffins

Get Along Shirt

Rooftop Steps

It's Not My Job

Mathematician's Truck

Redneck Baby Stroller

Redneck Estate Sale

Blonde Car Mirror

Corn Maze Warning

Lane Closure

Texting For Dummies