#1 humor site on the 'net

Round Table

Medieval guests observing the knight shift

Round Table thanks to Dave Loewen

Knights of the Round Table on Crusade Circle duty

Puns since the Middle Ages
QuotaBills
Lose your cool - play the fool. - W. Andrew Welker

I'd rather be dead than cool. - Kurt Cobain

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley

Language exerts hidden power, like a moon on the tides. - Rita Mae Brown

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. - Robert Benchley

My neighbor has a circular driveway - he can't get out. - Steven Wright

The colder the X-Ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it. - Steven Wright

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine

If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times, does he become disoriented? - George Carlin

We dance in a circle and suppose, while the secret sits in the middle and knows. - Robert Frost

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes

The next best thing to being wise oneself is to live in a circle of those who are. - C S Lewis

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain. - Jane Wagner

The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand

We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde

Everyone wants to eat at the government's table, but nobody wants to do the dishes. - Werner Finck

Great literature is simply language charged with meaning to the utmost possible degree. - Ezra Pound

Like a welcome summer rain, humor may suddenly cleanse and cool the earth, the air and you. - Langston Hughes

A half finished shawl left on the coffee table isn't a mess; it's an object of art. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

Insight comes, more often than not, from looking at what's been on the table all along. - David McCullough

A person's name is, to that person, the sweetest, most important sound in any language. - Dale Carnegie

Language is our meeting place, the sea we live in…it is the common ground of our humanity. - Toby Wolfe

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton

Never rest contented with any circle of ideas, but always be certain that a wider one is still possible. - Pearl Bailey

It is not hard to compose, but what is fabulously hard is to leave the superfluous notes under the table. - Johannes Brahms

The names of colors are at the edge, between where language fails and where it's at its most powerful. - A.S. Byatt

May I never be drunk enough to try to play a foosball table alone like that dude over there who actually is. - Dr. Okay Times

When you finally accept that you're a complete dork, your life gets easier. No sense in trying to be cool. - Reese Witherspoon

Violence of language leads to violence of action. Angry men seldom fight if their tongues do not lead the fray. - Charles V Roman

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

If the English language made any sense, 'lackadaisical' would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. - Doug Larson

We've never been cool, we're hot. Irish people are Italians who can't dress, Jamaicans who can't dance. - Bono

Morals are an acquirement - like music, like a foreign language, like piety, poker, paralysis - no man is born with them. - Mark Twain

When I was younger I did karate and martial arts, and I think it's really cool for girls to have those kinds of abilities. - Rebel Wilson

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

Social Security's not the hard one to solve. Medicare, that is the gorilla in the room, and you've got to put all of it on the table. - Joe Biden

Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


TV Conference

Chair Master

Killing Bugs

Alligator Ice

Dog Walker

Shanghai's Fullen Restaurant

Watts Wrong?

Beach Farmer

Facebook Wedding

Redneck Stealth Bomber

Lunch Anyone?

Coupon for Free Ride

How To Make A Deer Stand

Weather Forecast Toaster

Top-Heavy Truck with Afro Haircut

Hubcap Shine

Wooden Owl

One Way Repairs

Polar Breath

Nice Try, China

Enough Art Supplies

Earth Day Memories

Italian Fire Exit

Scottish Lawnmower