#1 humor site on the 'net

Redneck Bird Feeder

Alabama introduces new lighting standards for chicken coops

Redneck Bird Feeder thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Inspiration is remembering the future. - Unknown

Friccastewing a chicken on the hotplate - Archie Bunker

Inspiration and genius - one and the same. - Victor Hugo

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. - English Proverb

Inspiration exists, but it must find you working. - Pablo Picasso

Was there a bird for the souls of people like me? - Ruta Sepetys

The bird a nest, the spider a web, man friendship. - William Blake

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame. - Kohta Hirano

A bird in the hand is a certainty, but a bird in the bush may sing. - Bret Harte

Amateurs wait for inspiration. The real pros get up and go to work. - Harvey Mackay

Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come. - Chinese Proverb

The early bird would never catch the worm if the dumb worm slept late. - Milton Berle

Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration. - Thomas Edison

Amateurs wait for inspiration. The rest of us just get up and go to work. - Chuck Close

Yesterday I told a chicken to cross the road. It said, "what for?" - Steven Wright

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it. - Steven Wright

The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door. - Demetri Martin

Enthusiasm is excitement with inspiration, motivation, and a pinch of creativity. - Bo Bennett

A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer; it sings because it has a song. - Lou Holtz

Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly. - Lanston Hughes

Do we not all agree to call rapid thought and noble impulse by the name of inspiration? - George Eliot

I am no bird; and no net ensnares me; I am a free human being with an independent will. - Charlotte Bronte

As an actor you become that lighting rod between the person who made the play and the audience. - Christopher Walken

The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it. - Ellen Glasgow

The most beautiful thing in the world is, precisely, the conjunction of learning and inspiration. - Wanda Landowska

I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing than to teach ten thousand stars how not to dance. - e e cummings

The chicken probably came before the egg because it is hard to imagine God wanting to sit on an egg. - Unknown

You get the best effort from others not by lighting a fire beneath them, but by building a fire within. - Bob Nelson

We could not understand that there was anything about a bird that could not be built on a larger scale. - Orville Wright

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird and not enough the bad luck of the early worm. - Franklin D Roosevelt

Just as the bird sings or the butterfly soars, because it is his natural characteristic, so the artist works. - Alma Gluck

Inspiration comes unawares, from unaccountable sources that have nothing to do with planning or intelligence. - Maurice Chevalier

Any processed chicken from any place - I'll order it in a heartbeat. I'm very picky about my pork, though. - David Chang

You can't be suspicious of a tree, or accuse a bird or a squirrel of subversion or challenge the ideology of a violet. - Hal Borland

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

Without inspiration the best powers of the mind remain dormant. There is a fuel in us which needs to be ignited with sparks. - Johann Gottfried Von Herder

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell


Toemongous

How Russians Play Chess

Sudoku Cats

Luke FloorWalker

Proud Pug Parents

Reach For Your Dreams

Bouncing Checks

Abbreviated Beetle

Glass Prescription

Log Out - Here It Comes!

Roo Paper

Pool Fashion

Look At It This Way

Starbucks Bethlehem

Redneck House Cleaning

Book Perspective

Grandma's Controller

Tire Rotation

Grand Prix Roller Blades

Son Shine

BachScratcher

Under Control

Straightjacket Fashion

Husband Parking