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Meet Your Future Ex-Wife

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Meet Your Future Ex-Wife thanks to Chris Johnson

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Gin was mother's milk to her. - George Bernard Shaw

The future comes one day at a time. - Dean Acheson

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown

The greatest danger to our future is apathy. - Jane Goodall

When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields

The future is hidden even from those who make it. - Anatole France

I never think of the future. It comes soon enough. - Albert Einstein

The best way to predict the future is to invent it. - Alan Kay

There is no future for a people who deny their past. - Adam Clayton Powell Jr.

Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future. - Oscar Wilde

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

I like men who have a future and women who have a past. - Oscar Wilde

Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting? - WC Fields

Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons. - Unknown

Every hour of lost time is a chance of future misfortune. - Napoleon

It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst

Remember the past, live in the present, look to the future. - Joe Segal

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

One martini is all right, two is too many, three is not enough. - James Thurber

Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present. - Roger Babson

Young is the one that plunges in the future and never looks back. - Milan Kundera

Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future. - Paul Boese

With the past, I have nothing to do; nor with the future. I live now. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. - Pope John XXIII

I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown

To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems. - Homer Simpson

A revolution is a struggle to the death between the future and the past. - Fidel Castro

The reality is you either step into the future, or you become a dinosaur. - M Shadows

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

But blind to former as to future fate, what mortal knows his pre-existent state? - Alexander Pope

Lying makes a problem part of the future; truth makes a problem part of the past. - Rick Pitino

Descartes commanded the future from his study more than Napoleon from the throne. - Oliver Holmes

There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past. - George Carlin

One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. - Samuel Johnson

If we tried to sink the past beneath our feet, be sure the future would not stand it. - Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

The best way to secure future happiness is to be as happy as is rightfully possible today. - Charles W. Eliot

I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr.

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

That man is prudent who neither hopes nor fears anything from the uncertain events of the future. - Anatole France

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz

Unless you devote an enormous amount of time to anticipating the future, you won't have any future. - Ron Chernow

Our children may learn about heroes of the past. Our task is to make ourselves architects of the future. - Jomo Mzee Kenyatta

Don't major in the minors. Do the tough things first and take control of both your carer and your future. - Peter Legge

Yesterday's the past, tomorrow's the future, but today is a gift. That's why it's called the present. - Bill Keane

A cynic is not merely one who reads bitter lessons from the past, he is one who is prematurely disappointed in the future. - Sydney J. Harris

Canceled checks will be to future historians and cultural anthropologists what the Dead Sea Scrolls and hieroglyphics are to us. - Brent Staples

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron

The future rewards those who press on. I don't have time to feel sorry for myself. I don't have time to complain. I'm going to press on. - Barack Obama


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