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Meet Your Future Ex-Wife

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Meet Your Future Ex-Wife thanks to Chris Johnson

QuotaBills
Radio has no future. - Lord Kelvin

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

The bridge to the future in the phallus. - D.H. Lawrence

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn

When wine goes in strange things come out. - Friedrich Schiller

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown

I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown

Good friends, like wine, get better with age. - Unknown

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney

Life is a series of collisions with the future. - Jose Ortega Y Gasset

Everything's better with bacon and red wine. - Dianne Harman

Never make forecasts, especially about the future. - Samuel Goldwyn

There is nothing like a dream to create the future. - Victor Hugo

He that fears not the future may enjoy the present. - Thomas Fuller

Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future. - Oscar Wilde

Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons. - Unknown

Remember the past, live in the present, look to the future. - Joe Segal

Where there is no future before a people, there is no hope. - Edward Wilmot Blyden

Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson

If you can see the magic in a fairytale, you can face the future. - Danielle Steel

You ought to get out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini. - Mae West

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of the dream. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin

Republicans are men of narrow vision, who are afraid of the future. - Jimmy Carter

Our faith in the present dies out long before our faith in the future. - Ruth Benedict

You don't just stumble into the future. You create your own future. - Roger Smith

The best thing about the future is that it comes only one day at a time. - Dean Acheson

To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems. - Homer Simpson

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life. - George Burns

Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. - Lord Dunsany

If we tried to sink the past beneath our feet, be sure the future would not stand it. - Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

Measure thy life by loss instead of gain, not by the wine drunk, but the wine poured forth. - Harriet King

I exercise extreme self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. - WC Fields

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. - Hunter S Thompson

If you have to choose between drinking wine every day or being skinny, which would you choose: Red or White? - Unknown

When we yield to discouragement it is usually because we give too much thought to the past and to the future. - St. Theresa of Lisieux

A good financial plan is a road map that shows us exactly how the choices we make today will affect our future. - Alexa Von Tobel

We have embarked upon the world's largest and longest cocktail party, and every issue imaginable is up for grabs. - Geoffrey Moore

You pretty much can't get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you'd be good to go. - Hillary Scott

It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie

A cynic is not merely one who reads bitter lessons from the past, he is one who is prematurely disappointed in the future. - Sydney J. Harris

Canceled checks will be to future historians and cultural anthropologists what the Dead Sea Scrolls and hieroglyphics are to us. - Brent Staples

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - the Joe-kster


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