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Meet Your Future Ex-Wife

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Meet Your Future Ex-Wife thanks to Chris Johnson

QuotaBills
Radio has no future. - Lord Kelvin

I like a wine that fights back. - John Steed

Adventure is the champagne of life. - G K Chesterton

Inspiration is remembering the future. - Unknown

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

Life is a series of collisions with the future. - Jose Ortega Y Gasset

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. - George Carlin

I never think of the future. It comes soon enough. - Albert Einstein

As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I should never have switched from Scotch to martinis. - Humphrey Bogart

Your task is not to foresee the future, but to enable it. - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. - Winston Churchill

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of the dream. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Republicans are men of narrow vision, who are afraid of the future. - Jimmy Carter

We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine. - Eduardo Galeano

Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future. - Paul Boese

Too much of anything is bad. Too much of good whisky is barely enough. - Mark Twain

A raise is like a martini: it elevates the spirit, but only temporarily. - Dan Seligman

A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. - Louis Pasteur

Man will never reach the moon regardless of all future scientific advances. - Lee De Forest

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

Lying makes a problem part of the future; truth makes a problem part of the past. - Rick Pitino

One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. - Samuel Johnson

Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. - Lord Dunsany

Why is it that everybody's suing the tobacco companies and not the alcohol companies? - Donald Trump

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

I exercise extreme self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. - WC Fields

When a man who is drinking neat gin starts talking about his mother he is past all argument. - C.S. Forester

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. - Carl Jung

I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright

The error of the past is the success of the future. A mistake is evidence that someone tried to do something. - Unknown

A good financial plan is a road map that shows us exactly how the choices we make today will affect our future. - Alexa Von Tobel

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

Yesterday's the past, tomorrow's the future, but today is a gift. That's why it's called the present. - Bill Keane

It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie

A cynic is not merely one who reads bitter lessons from the past, he is one who is prematurely disappointed in the future. - Sydney J. Harris

Neither a wise man nor a brave man lies down on the tracks of history to wait for the train of the future to run over him. - Dwight D Eisenhower

Canceled checks will be to future historians and cultural anthropologists what the Dead Sea Scrolls and hieroglyphics are to us. - Brent Staples

I will never again underestimate the power of anticipation. There is no better boost in the present than an invitation into the future. - Caroline Kepnes

Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present. - Marcus Aurelius

Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown

Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller


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