#1 humor site on the 'net

Master Chef Eggspert

Eggsiting gourmet breakfast recipes

Master Chef Eggspert thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Zombies hate fast food. - Unknown

Fine words do not produce food. - Nigeria Proverb

Food tastes better when you wear it. - Erin Dealey

She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson

You can't hatch chickens from fried eggs. - German Proverb

Literature is a luxury; fiction is a necessity. - G K Chesterton

Them eggs over there are startin' to foment. - Archie Bunker

You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs. - French Proverb

Bacon bits are like fairy dust of the food community. - Unknown

Food tastes best when you eat it with your own spoon. - Denmark Proverb

Laughter is brightest in the place where the food is. - Ireland Proverb

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

The rich would have to eat money if the poor did not provide food. - Russia Proverb

Fang drops so much food on his ties we keep them in the refrigerator. - Phyllis Diller

It was so windy that one of our chickens laid the same egg four times. - Unknown

If you are looking for a fly in your food, it means that you are full. - South Africa Proverb

A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch. - James Beard

My idea of baking is buying a ready-make cake mix and throwing in an egg. - Cilla Black

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes. - Oscar Wilde

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

In my cosmology, indigenous wild deer are more important than exotic ornamental shrubs. - Elizabeth M. Thomas

The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again. - George Miller

I need to tone up, as I eat a lot of fast food. I love Maccy D's, Subway and Domino's. - Amy Childs

Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid. - Mark Twain

The automatic stabilizer is unemployment insurance, food stamps, additional coverage of Medicaid. - Franklin Raines

Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches awaiting Easter. - Fran Lebowitz

Number theorists are like lotus-eaters – having once tasted of this food they can never give it up. - Leopold Kronecker

I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tuna-fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock. - Barbara Harrison

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

No matter what the recipe, any baker can do wonders in the kitchen with some good ingredients and an upbeat attitude. - Buddy Valastro

A burrito is a delicious food item that breaks down all social barriers and leads to temporary spiritual enlightenment. - Lisi Harrison

For my last meal, I'd want an Irish breakfast with soda bread and one of my dad's omelettes with three or four eggs. - Erin O'Connor

How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner

I like Pirate's Booty. Prunes and olives, too. I love hummus. I can eat that until I die. I tend to eat mostly organic food. - Queen Latifah

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton

There is one longing almost as deep and imperious as the desire for food and sleep. It is the desire to be great. It is the desire to be important. - Dale Carnegie


Rat Toys

Radish Camouflage

Apple Art

Cake Finders

Shot Glasses

Frog Spout Security

Chopper Bicycle

Canadian Suntan

Walkway To Heaven

Groucho Marx and Jimmy Savile

Despicable Shoes

Prayer Conditioning

Lazy People Make Excellent Engineers

Spaghetti Western

Under The Weather

Backpack Barney

My Sweet Potato

Who Needs a Guard Dog?

My Next Life

Mouse Insider

Close Ups

Redneck Camera Phone

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Redneck Cupboard