#1 humor site on the 'net

Life Extension

Dining on a smoke-free balcony

Life Extension thanks to Morris Lefevre

'Unfortunately during meal service the balcony is a non-smoking area. We apologise for your slightly extended lifespan.'

QuotaBills
I made my life my monument. - Ben Johnson

Life is an adventure in forgiveness. - Norman Cousins

I do not regret one moment of my life. - Lillie Langtry

Expect nothing and life will be velvet. - Lisa Gardiner

Life is a series of commas, not periods. - Matthew McConaughey

Don't go to the grave with life unused. - Bobby Bowden

Life begins at the end of your comfort zone. - Neale Donald Walsh

There are no mistakes in life, only lessons. - Lynda Renham

I have a great relationship with Roger Ailes. - Donald Trump

Love isn't an act, it's a whole life. - Brian Moore

Enjoy life. There's plenty of time to be dead. - Hans Christian Andersen

Don't take life too seriously; it's not permanent. - Unknown

Life began with waking up and loving my mother's face. - George Eliot

The American Way of life, si! The American Way of death, no! - Archie Bunker

The good life is one inspired by love and guided by knowledge. - Bertrand Russell

Real magic in relationships means an absence of judgment of others. - Wayne Dyer

When life gives you Limes rearrange the letters until they say Smile. - joe-kster

The story of a mother's life: trapped between a scream and a hug. - Cathy Guisewite

Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. - George Bernard Shaw

The world has grown suspicious of anything that looks like a happily married life. - Oscar Wilde

A son is a son till he takes him a wife, a daughter is a daughter all of her life. - Unknown

A nation which makes the final sacrifice for life and freedom does not get beaten. - Kemal Ataturk

Lay hold of life with both hands, whenever thou mayest seize it, it is interesting. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The happiest life is that which constantly exercises and educates what is best in us. - Hamerton

So often in life, things that you regard as an impediment turn out to be great good fortune. - Ruth Bader Ginsburg

If you live your life afraid because you're afraid to live, then you live no life at all. - Unknown

Somehow, throughout much of life, being old seems to be something that happens to other people. - Maggie Scarf

The true secret of happiness lies in taking a genuine interest in all the details of daily life. - William Morris

The meaning of life consists in the fact that it makes no sense to say that life has no meaning. - Niels Bohr

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

The Irish Catholic side was married to the life of an actor and I found out acting could be a form of prayer. - Liam Neeson

There is a plan and a purpose, a value to every life, no matter what its location, age, gender or disability. - Sharron Angle

Success has nothing to do with what you gain in life or accomplish for yourself. It's what you do for others. - Danny Thomas

A life of unremitting caution, without the carefree - or even, occasionally, the careless - may turn out to be half a life. - Anna Quindlen

One's life has value so long as one attributes value to the life of others, by means of love, friendship, indignation, and compassion. - Simone de Beauvoir

Those who have never known the deep intimacy and the intense companionship of mutual love have missed the best thing that life has to give. - Bertrand Russell

When you forgive a wrongdoing, you give yourself peace of mind; you can go about your life with a feeling of serenity and be grateful again. - Unknown

The purpose of life is not to be happy - but to matter, to be productive, to be useful, to have it make some difference that you lived at all. - Leo Rosten

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

Thirteen roadways lead through life
To thirteen doors of death,
Homeward from foolish fears and strife
We float on failing breath. - Tao


Patio Losers

How To Argue With A Woman

Wings Fans Are Ruthless

Temple Car

Netherlands Parking Lot

Model T Snowmobile

Tulip Snowpath

New Audi

Tower of Hammocks

Family Birthday Reminder

Dead Batteries

Ostrich Bush

Tetris Cake

T-Rex Shadow

Ordnance Table

Wine Bibber

Redneck Wireless Selfie

Tylenol Ban

GoosePrints

Louisiana Potholes

Cheers!

Billy Goat Gruff

Girlfriend Math

Coffee Days