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Laxative Cream Pie

Mom's secret recipe for flatulent dessert

Laxative Cream Pie thanks to Howard Chapman

How she made things interesting while stuck in the kitchen cooking and cleaning while the men sat around watching football

QuotaBills
Pumpkin pie fixes everything. - Unknown

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

Housework, if you do it right, can kill you. - Erma Bombeck

Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet

Life is too short not to order the bacon dessert. - George Takei

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance? - Phyllis Diller

Pie are not square. Pie are round. Cornbread are square. - Unknown

I think housework is the reason most women go to the office. - Heloise Cruse

God made rainy days so gardeners could get the housework done. - Unknown

A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of. - Jane Austen

My mom always said normal is just a cycle on the washing machine. - Wynonna Judd

I know enough to know that when you're in a pickle... call Mom. - Jennifer Garner

A bright person can always think of something better to do than housework. - Ruby Lou Barnhill

From every Englishman emanates a kind of gas, the deadly choke-lamp of boredom. - Heinrich Heine

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? - George Carlin

Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it. - Evan Esar

Housework is work directly opposed to the possibility of human self-actualization. - Ann Oakley

If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe. - Carl Sagan

My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper. - Amy Sedaris

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance. - Tim Allen

When someone asks if you'd like cake or pie, why not say you want cake and pie? - Lisa Loeb

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. - Dave Barry

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke

My mom was fair. You never knew whether she was going to swing with her right or her left. - Herb Caen

If you meet someone who can cook and do housework, don't hesitate a minute - marry him! - Rita Rudner

Said the daughter: "I don't have to help my Mom with the housework. She knows how." - Unknown

Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity. - Erma Bombeck

My husband and I have figured out a really good system about the housework: neither one of us does it. - Dottie Archibald

You really don't need to study how to change a diaper. As a new mom, you learn pretty darn quickly! - Ivanka Trump

I don't know what that gas is made of, but it can't smell any worse than Ernie Johnson 's gym bag. - Charles Barkley

I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again. - Joan Rivers

I love those hockey moms. You know what they say the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull is? Lipstick. - Sarah Palin

When I moved out of my mom's house at 18 I was almost as sad to leave her sewing machine behind as anything else. - Beth Ditto

The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff

I like to eat pizza and spaghetti pomodoro, and I'm crazy for dessert. I like all of them: cassata, cheesecake, biscuits. - Stefano Gabbana

The rhythm of the footsteps, the sound of whatever is coming down the ladder is driving both me and my mom steadily toward peeing our pants. - Kendare Blake

Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus

Money is like gasoline during a road trip. You don't want to run out of gas on your trip, but you're not doing a tour of gas stations. - Tim O'Reilly


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