#1 humor site on the 'net

Joe's Place

Kosher-approved road sign in Shiloh, Israel for the Joe-kster

Joe's Place thanks to joe-kster

QuotaBills
Old age is no place for sissies. - Bette Davis

Love is a place for your heart to get broken. - Hector Schiller

The best place to cry is on a mother's arms. - Jodi Picoult

The only place men want depth in a woman is in her decolletage. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

TV is simply a place where people go when they get tired of thinking. - Kevin Devitte

You can't run away from trouble. There ain't no place that far. - Joel C Harris

Sometimes idealism and all that make believe makes the world a better place. - Sung Kang

If you don't know where you are going, you'll end up some place else. - Yogi Berra

Brass bands are all very well in their place - outdoors and several miles away. - Thomas Beecham

A hick town is one in which there is no place to go where you shouldn't be. - Alexander Woollcott

Our deeds still travel with us from afar, and what we have been makes us what we are. - George Eliot

If you don't know who you are, the stock market is an expensive place to find out. - George Goodman

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it. - Bob Hope

I know why superman left krypton. Earth was the only place where he could get steroids. - Milton Berle

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place. - Steven Wright

It was partially my fault that we got divorced. I tended to place my wife under a pedestal. - Woody Allen

No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement. - Florida Scott-Maxwell

It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf. - Robert Lynd

The yoga mat is a good place to turn when talk therapy and antidepressants aren't enough. - Amy Weintraub

Every time you tear a leaf off a calendar, you present a new place for new ideas and progress. - Charles Kettering

There's a time and place for everything, and I believe it's called 'fan fiction'. - Joss Whedon

The hottest place in Hell is reserved for those who remain neutral in times of great moral conflict. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

I saw a sign: "Rest Area 25 Miles". That's pretty big. Some people must be really tired. - Steven Wright

The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet. - Frederick Buechner

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell

Few things help an individual more than to place responsibility upon him and to let him know that you trust him. - Booker T. Washington

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. - Calvin

She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman. - Oscar Wilde

Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you're riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. - Bob Marley

There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered. - Nelson Mandela

Oh my. Space travel sounds rather perilous. I can assure you they will never get me on one of those dreadful Star Ships. - C-3PO

Own only what you can always carry with you: know languages, know countries, know people. Let your memory be your travel bag. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

New York is my Lourdes where I go for spiritual refreshment...a place where you are least likely to be bitten by a wild goat. - Brendan Behan

Change and growth take place when a person has risked himself and dares to become involved with experimenting with his own life. - Herbert Otto

One need not be a chamber to be haunted;
One need not be a house;
The brain has corridors surpassing
Material place. - Emily Dickinson

Carry your courage in an easily accessible place, the way you do your cellphone or your wallet. Courage is the ultimate career move. - Anna Quindlen

As a travel writer I've specialized in gritty, fearful destinations, the kind of places that make a reader's hair stick on end. - Tahir Shah

A man’s life is interesting primarily when he has failed – I well know. For it’s a sign that he tried to surpass himself. - Georges Clemenceau

It's better to look at the sky than live there. Such an empty place; so vague. Just a country where the thunder goes and things disappear. - Truman Capote

I found my prince - he's a hockey player and we met at an NHL event, the last place I'd ever expect to meet someone, but there he was. - Carol Alt


Bacon Bikes

Animal Taxi

Lego Key Holder

Mechanic Apprentice

Redneck Helicopter

Hairy Egg

Fork Door Handle

Making Hockey More Popular

Suitcase WorkPlace

One-Knight Stands

Stealth Cell Phone Tower

Holes of the World

Sunken Bed

Australian Wildfire Survivor

Rat Toys

Radish Camouflage

Apple Art

Cake Finders

Shot Glasses

Frog Spout Security

Chopper Bicycle

Canadian Suntan

Walkway To Heaven

Groucho Marx and Jimmy Savile