#1 humor site on the 'net

Israeli Date

Does your girlfriend carry an M-16?

Israeli Date thanks to Roy Turkington

QuotaBills
Salivation Army - Archie Bunker

An army marches on its stomach. - Napoleon Bonaparte

A good soldier is a poor scout. - Cheyenne Proverb

Leave the gun, take the cannoli. - The Godfather

I am not a politician, but a soldier. - Idi Amin

A gun gives you the body, not the bird. - Henry David Thoreau

In war, there are no unwounded soldiers. - Jose Narosky

Skill and confidence are an unconquered army. - George Herbert

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms. - Groucho Marx

I now close my military career and just fade away. - Douglas MacArthur

Marketing strategy is a lot like military strategy. - Liddell Hart

The dead soldier's silence sings our national anthem. - Aaron Kilbourn

The military don't start wars. Politicians start wars. - William Westmoreland

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun. - Unknown

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me? - Mae West

A conquering army on the border will not be stopped by eloquence. - Otto von Bismarck

Guns don't kill people. Dads with pretty daughters kill people. - Unknown

A piece of spaghetti or a military unit can only be led from the front end. - George S Patton

An army of sheep led by a lion would defeat an army of lions led by a sheep. - Arab Proverb

You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone. - Al Capone

Let everyone leave all the guns - British guns and Irish guns - outside the door. - Martin McGuinness

If you have a gun you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank you can rob everyone. - Unknown

I'm a Catholic deer hunter. I am happy to be clinging to my guns and my religion. - Paul Ryan

An army of deer led by a lion is more to be feared than an army of lions led by a deer. - Philip II

You still can't find Israel on a map of the Middle East in a Palestinian schoolbook. - Suzanne Fields

A gun is not a weapon, it’s a tool, like a hammer or a screwdriver or an alligator. - Homer Simpson

Statistics have shown that mortality increases perceptibly in the military during wartime. - Alphonse Allais

Samson, he takes the jawbone out of the grass and he kills the whole army of the Phillipines. - Archie Bunker

Moses was the greatest legislator and the commander in chief of perhaps the first liberation army. - Elie Wiesel

I am not afraid of an army of lions led by a sheep. I am afraid of an army of sheep led by a lion. - Alexander the Great

The first who was king was a fortunate soldier: Who serves his country well has no need of ancestors. - Voltaire

There is one thing stronger than all the armies in the world, and that is an idea whose time has come. - Victor Hugo

The reason there are so many tree-lined boulevards in Paris is so the German army can march in the shade. - George S Patton

I hate war as only a soldier who has lived it can, only as one who has seen its brutality, its stupidity. - Dwight D Eisenhower

I have drawn inspiration from the Marine Corps, the Jewish struggle in Palestine and Israel, and the Irish. - Leon Uris

Only think of two things - the gun and the tape. When you hear the one, just run like hell until you break the other. - Sam Mussabini

Maybe the answer to Selective Service is to start everyone off in the army and draft them for civilian life as needed. - Bill Vaughan

Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't allow our enemies to have guns, why should we allow them to have ideas. - Joseph Stalin

It takes but one positive thought when given a chance to survive and thrive to overpower an entire army of negative thoughts. - Robert H. Schuller

I'd love to see Christ come back to crush the spirit of hate and make men put down their guns. I'd also like just one more hit single. - Tiny Tim


Knot Art

Zipper Scar Tattoo

Swiss Army Mega Tools

Law of Emotion

Eiffel Tower Modifications

Joyous Lawyers

Acupuncture Face

Star Wars Episode VIII

LiverPool

Digger Dog

You Guys Make Me Sick

Chu Your Food Well

Men's Wedding Photos

Wrench Dinosaur

Suddenly An Oven

Redneck Shower Head

Twin Dish

I Finally Know Why

Finally Got The Sink Fixed

Barred

Surprise Party At The Zoo

Dog Cross

Restored Beauty

Perfect Girl