#1 humor site on the 'net

Israeli Date

Does your girlfriend carry an M-16?

Israeli Date thanks to Roy Turkington

QuotaBills
An army marches on its stomach. - Napoleon Bonaparte

A good soldier is a poor scout. - Cheyenne Proverb

The gun is not out of Irish politics. - Ian Paisley

A gun gives you the body, not the bird. - Henry David Thoreau

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms. - Groucho Marx

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. - R Buckminster Fuller

Soldiers win the battles and generals get the credit. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value. - Marechal Ferdinand Foch

The dead soldier's silence sings our national anthem. - Aaron Kilbourn

The military don't start wars. Politicians start wars. - William Westmoreland

We come not to mourn our dead soldiers, but to praise them. - Francis A Walker

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun. - Unknown

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me? - Mae West

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. - Groucho Marx

Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not. - Thomas Jefferson

Your heaviest artillery will be your will to live. Keep that big gun going. - Norman Cousins

An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come. - Victor Hugo

A piece of spaghetti or a military unit can only be led from the front end. - George S Patton

An army of sheep led by a lion would defeat an army of lions led by a sheep. - Arab Proverb

You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone. - Al Capone

I'm a Catholic deer hunter. I am happy to be clinging to my guns and my religion. - Paul Ryan

When I take a gun in hand, the safest place for a pheasant is just opposite the muzzle. - Sydney Smith

An army of deer led by a lion is more to be feared than an army of lions led by a deer. - Philip II

A gun is not a weapon, it’s a tool, like a hammer or a screwdriver or an alligator. - Homer Simpson

Statistics have shown that mortality increases perceptibly in the military during wartime. - Alphonse Allais

Samson, he takes the jawbone out of the grass and he kills the whole army of the Phillipines. - Archie Bunker

Moses was the greatest legislator and the commander in chief of perhaps the first liberation army. - Elie Wiesel

I am not afraid of an army of lions led by a sheep. I am afraid of an army of sheep led by a lion. - Alexander the Great

The first who was king was a fortunate soldier: Who serves his country well has no need of ancestors. - Voltaire

There is one thing stronger than all the armies in the world, and that is an idea whose time has come. - Victor Hugo

The reason there are so many tree-lined boulevards in Paris is so the German army can march in the shade. - George S Patton

I hate war as only a soldier who has lived it can, only as one who has seen its brutality, its stupidity. - Dwight D Eisenhower

I have drawn inspiration from the Marine Corps, the Jewish struggle in Palestine and Israel, and the Irish. - Leon Uris

Only think of two things - the gun and the tape. When you hear the one, just run like hell until you break the other. - Sam Mussabini

Maybe the answer to Selective Service is to start everyone off in the army and draft them for civilian life as needed. - Bill Vaughan

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman

Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't allow our enemies to have guns, why should we allow them to have ideas. - Joseph Stalin

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard

I come bearing an olive branch in one hand, and the freedom fighter's gun in the other. Do not let the olive branch fall from my hand. - Yasser Arafat

I'd love to see Christ come back to crush the spirit of hate and make men put down their guns. I'd also like just one more hit single. - Tiny Tim


Radish Camouflage

Apple Art

Cake Finders

Shot Glasses

Frog Spout Security

Chopper Bicycle

Canadian Suntan

Walkway To Heaven

Groucho Marx and Jimmy Savile

Despicable Shoes

Prayer Conditioning

Lazy People Make Excellent Engineers

Spaghetti Western

Under The Weather

Backpack Barney

My Sweet Potato

Who Needs a Guard Dog?

My Next Life

Mouse Insider

Close Ups

Redneck Camera Phone

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Redneck Cupboard

Homeless Signs