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Hands Free Driving

Redneck steering wheel with Blackberry cellphone attachment

Hands Free Driving thanks to Jim Ord

QuotaBills
Hold a true friend with both your hands. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

I wish you'd keep my hands to yourself. - Groucho Marx

You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist. - Indira Gandhi

Defendit numerus: There is safety in numbers. - Unknown

Every problem has a gift for you in its hands. - Richard Bach

When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields

Safety is a cheap and effective insurance policy. - Unknown

Putting your hands in the earth is very grounding. - John Glover

In skating over thin ice our safety is in our speed. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

When my wrestlers got their hands raised, I jumped for joy. - Dan Gable

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands? - Milton Berle

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? - George Carlin

The head thinks, the hands labor, but it's the heart that laughs. - Liz Curtis Higgs

A human being's first responsibility is to shake hands with himself. - Henry Winkler

It is sometimes as dangerous to be run into by a microbe as by a trolley car. - J.J. Walsh

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

Let him that is without stone among you cast the first thing he can lay his hands on. - Robert Frost

A gorilla with a cellphone riding a bicycle is bound to generate some clever captions. - Steve Breen

When life hands you a lemon, say, "Oh year, I like lemons, what else ya got?" - Henry Rollins

I see their souls, and I hold them in my hands, and because I love them they weigh nothing. - Pearl Bailey

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

The greatest happiness love can offer is the first pressure of hands between you and your beloved. - Stendhal

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others. - Audrey Hepburn

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

Faithfulness is essential to the character of a friend: without this there can be no safety in intimacy with and confidence in him. - Samuel Hopkins

Carry your courage in an easily accessible place, the way you do your cellphone or your wallet. Courage is the ultimate career move. - Anna Quindlen

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. - Norm Crosby

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright


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