#1 humor site on the 'net

Hamilton NHL Team

NHL considers expansion team in Hamilton, Ontario

Hamilton NHL Team thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Expressing empathy for long-suffering Toronto Maple Leaf fans

QuotaBills
Canada is hockey. - Mike Weir

Hockey is a tough game. - Bobby Orr

Hockey's my favorite sport. - Denis Leary

Hockey is the original extreme sport. - Tom Ward

Hockey is figure skating in a war zone. - Unknown

To succeed in hockey, you need teamwork. - Henry Samueli

People on the streets are ready for hockey. - Eric Lindros

Figure skaters have awful perceptions of hockey players. - Kristi Yamaguchi

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out. - Rodney Dangerfield

Ninety percent of hockey is mental and the other half is physical. - Wayne Gretzky

All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity. - Gordie Howe

Hockey seems completely lawless and, therefore, inexplicably sexy. - Rachel Nichols

For me, baseball is more comparable to chess than it is to hockey. - Jeff Garlin

The greatest hockey player who ever lived: Bobby Orr, and I love him. - Donald S. Cherry

By 1946, I knew Detroit was the best hockey city in the Original Six. - Ted Lindsay

I love hockey because of the respect for history and for the game itself. - George Vecsey

Sometimes it just feels like the only thing you do is play hockey and eat. - Henrik Lundqvist

My goal was to play in the NHL, because that is the best hockey in the world. - Jaromir Jagr

You can't play hockey with a bald spot, so I'm hanging up the skates. - Joe Sakic

When you think of hockey, when you think of Canada, you think of Wayne Gretzky. - Joe Sakic

I still have my teeth. I don't want to lose them at age 61 in some hockey game. - Jim Flaherty

I'm not a hockey fan, which is probably why I had to leave Canada in the first place. - Ryan Reynolds

Our team lives hockey, it dreams hockey, it eats hockey. Now if it could only play hockey. - Milton Berle

Canadian hockey fans... They boo me every time I go anywhere. Because I play for Team USA. - Brett Hull

I like ice hockey. No one is ever going to ask me to write about that as a metaphor for life. - Steven Pinker

Hockey players wear numbers because you can't always identify the body with dental records. - Unknown

I think the thing you always got to keep in mind, you know, hockey is a game of one-on-one battles. - Mark Messier

We can make fun of hockey fans, but someone who enjoys Homer is indulging the same kind of vicarious bloodlust. - Steven Pinker

I love those hockey moms. You know what they say the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull is? Lipstick. - Sarah Palin

I have a huge interest in hockey because I grew up in Canada, where it's kind of the law that you love hockey. - Matthew Perry

I went to a Catholic boys' school for a year, but that was to play hockey. Religion class was quite contentious for me. - Keanu Reeves

Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing - and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even. - Will Rogers

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

Hockey on roller skates is like MMA in a bounce house: the elements are there, but the medium makes the whole thing ridiculous. - David Walton

If you're skinny and you can't play hockey in Canada, you aren't left with a lot of options. I was left with running. - Malcolm Gladwell

When it comes to hockey, it's been in my blood since I was 3 or 4 years old. I love coaching the kids, especially at that level. - Mario Lemieux

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard

I found my prince - he's a hockey player and we met at an NHL event, the last place I'd ever expect to meet someone, but there he was. - Carol Alt

When I walk down the street in New York, the building constructor, the guy pounding cement and what not, will yell, "Hey, you hockey puck!" - Don Rickles

Playoff hockey is the best way to market your team. It's the best way to grow your fan base and give hope to your players and for them to develop. - Steve Yzerman


Octopus Skateboarding

Sling Signs

Beauty Bag

Dodgy Ticker

Orcar

Eastwooding

Sandal Security

Folding Bike

Ladies Golf

Mommy's Diet

Goat Trick

Why The Dog Left

Sex Education in Saskatchewan

Unattended Children

Slovak Muffler Accessory

Towel, Please

Onward, My Noble Steed!

Donut Sale

Found The Food

Captain Hook

Pane-Full Motorcycle

Internet Surfing

Bored During Dinner

Sanitary Door Opener