#1 humor site on the 'net

Canadian Border Patrol

On the lookout for Trump dodgers, eh

Canadian Border Patrol thanks to Mike King

QuotaBills
Birth patrol pills. - Archie Bunker

Moose are the squirrels of Alaska. - Tim Moon

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

There is no security in this life. There is only opportunity. - Douglas MacAurthur

A conquering army on the border will not be stopped by eloquence. - Otto von Bismarck

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

We spend our time searching for security and hate it when we get it. - John Steinbeck

He prefers the security of known misery to the misery of unfamiliar insecurity. - Sheldon B. Kopp

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

It is true greatness to have in one the frailty of a man and the security of a god. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca

A man's own good breeding is the best security against other people's ill manners. - Lord Chesterfield

I used to think that one of the great signs of security was the ability to just walk away. - Jack Nicholson

There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend. - Jack Nicholson

I do not think there is any silver bullet to solving the technology side of the security equation. - John W. Thompson

A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it. - Groucho Marx

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem to be more afraid of life than death. - James F. Bymes

The only security men can have for their political liberty, consists in keeping their money in their own pockets. - Lysander Spooner

I know runners who have suffered a tick bite and ended up with Lyme disease. I'll take an angry moose any day. - Don Kardong

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?" - Steven Wright

Wolves directly affect the entire ecosystem, not just moose populations, their main prey, because less moose equals more tree growth. - Rolf Peterson

In a world of complex threats, our security and leadership depends on all elements of our power - including strong and principled diplomacy. - Barack Obama

Social Security's not the hard one to solve. Medicare, that is the gorilla in the room, and you've got to put all of it on the table. - Joe Biden


Wet Insect

Teahouse of the August Moon

Server Tray

Model T Ford Repair Costs in 1928

Lowdown Volvo

Drone Crossing

Prince Bag

Ghetto Hammock

Tea Remedy

Cooking For Guys

Sun Dial Fail

I Like Cooking

Wine Secret

Lean Beer

Tip Discount

Cake Message

Where Astronauts Hang Out

In Deep Water

Travel Mints

Kelpies

Late Lecture

Throne Games

Madeleine Albright

Walkies