#1 humor site on the 'net

Built-In Chair

Wood you like a long relationship with a tree?

Built-In Chair thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
My family tree could use some pruning. - Unknown

The righteous will flourish like the palm tree. - Psalms 92:12

Trees cause more pollution than automobiles do. - Ronald Reagan

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark. - Steven Wright

Once there was a tree, and she loved a little boy. - Shel Silverstein

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

Preoccupied with a single leaf you won't see the tree. - Vagabond

The patriot's blood is the seed of Freedom's tree. - Thomas Campbell

He knows his olive trees better than he knows his children. - Rebecca Helm-Ropelato

I give unto my wife my second best bed, with the furniture. - William Shakespeare

Native ability without education is like a tree without fruit. - Aristippus

The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room. - Unknown

The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now. - Chinese Proverb

Learn not to talk to me. You shake the tree, a leopard's going to fall out. - Kobe Bryant

We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture. - Robin Williams

In hotel rooms I worry. I can't be the only guy who sits on the furniture naked. - Jonathan Katz

Trees are not known by their leaves, nor even by their blossoms, but by their fruits. - Eleanor of Aquitaine

The true meaning of life is to plant trees, under whose shade you do not expect to sit. - Nelson Henderson

My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting in his lap; he was in the electric chair. - Rodney Dangerfield

The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. - Thomas Jefferson

The difference between a gun and a tree is a difference of tempo. The tree explodes every spring. - Ezra Pound

We breathe air, trees make air, homework kills trees, therefore homework is going to kill us all. - Unknown

Worry is like a rocking chair. It will give you something to do, but it won't get you anywhere. - Unknown

Chair pose is a defiance of spirit, showing how high you can reach even when you're forced down. - Unknown

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. - Unknown

What a surprise to find you could shift the contents of your head like rearranging furniture in a room. - Lisa Alther

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison. - WC Fields

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

Except during the nine months before he draws his first breath, no man manages his affairs as well as a tree does. - George Bernard Shaw

Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. - John Muir

Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing. - Abraham Lincoln

It's in the democratic citizen's nature to be like a leaf that doesn't believe in the tree it's part of. - David Foster Wallace

My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already. - Wendy Liebman

When anyone asks me about the Irish character, I say look at the trees. Maimed, stark and misshapen, but ferociously tenacious. - Unknown

If you think in terms of a year, plant a seed; if in terms of ten years, plant trees; if in terms of 100 years, teach the people. - Confucius

I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree;
Perhaps, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all. - Ogden Nash

To be poor and be without trees, is to be the most starved human being in the world. To be poor and have trees, is to be completely rich in ways that money can never buy. - Clarissa Pinkola Estes

You can hit my father over the head with a chair and he won't wake up, but my mother, all you have to do to my mother is cough somewhere in Siberia and she'll hear you. - J.D. Salinger

She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker.
She said, "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!"
So I bought her an electric chair. - Red Skelton


Hogwart's Other Bridge

Excalibutter

As The World Turns

Bird Condo

Legal Assistance For All

Chinese Law School

Do Not Stack

Stairway Chute

Walkway Not

Pirate Vacation

How Not To Prop Start Your Plane

Redneck Spaghetti

Wild Game Nutrition Guide

Alaska Gas

Definition Of A Good Friend

Redneck Car Repair

Self-Propelled Rocket

Pole Clock

Donut Holes

Insect Food Fight

Living At C Level

Little Johnny Bath

Emergency Stops Only

Portable Balance Beam