#1 humor site on the 'net

Bread Pitt

Next best thing to Brad's Bakery

Bread Pitt thanks to Barry McCartney

QuotaBills
Whose bread I eat, his song I sing. - Germany Proverb

Bad bread wrecks my outlook on life. - Jeffrey Steingarten

To a good appetite there is no bad bread. - Spain Proverb

Basted Baker - #1 Bistro in Sechelt, B.C. - Christopher and Kandace

What was the best thing before sliced bread? - George Carlin

Bread and water can so easily be toast and tea. - Janet Clarkson

Me writing about tennis is like a baker baking bread. - Ion Tiriac

But what does he owe me for 5 years of bread and broad? - Archie Bunker

I don't even butter my bread. I consider that cooking. - Katherine Cebrian

Baking is like washing - the results are equally temporary. - Patricia Briggs

My father was grounded, a very meat-and-potatoes man. He was a baker. - Anthony Hopkins

Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

I believe in goodness, mercy and charity. I believe in casting bread up the waters. - Leonard Nimoy

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with. - George Carlin

I have a constant sweet tooth, so I like anything from the bakery, like cupcakes, cookies. - Carmen Electra

Polly had a gift for baking pies, and she poured her heart and soul into every one she made. - Sarah Weeks

A bad review is like baking a cake with all the best ingredients and having someone sit on it. - Danielle Steel

I love eating sushi and eating raw and clean - no pasta and bread. Low carbs is what works for me. - Christine Teigen

My opponent called me a cream puff. Well, I rushed out and got the baker's union to endorse me. - Claiborne Pell

There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread. - Mahatma Gandhi

Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies. - Milton Berle

The butcher, baker, and candlestick maker have been around a lot longer than supermarkets and Wal-Mart. - Joel Salatin

When you have only two pennies left in the world, buy a loaf of bread with one, and a lily with the other. - Chinese Proverb

Love doesn't just sit there, like a stone; it has to be made, like bread, remade all the time, made new. - Ursula K. Leguin

No matter what the recipe, any baker can do wonders in the kitchen with some good ingredients and an upbeat attitude. - Buddy Valastro

The two things that are going to make you a better baker without even trying are a scale and a thermometer in your oven. - Tom Douglas

For my last meal, I'd want an Irish breakfast with soda bread and one of my dad's omelettes with three or four eggs. - Erin O'Connor

My greatest strength is common sense. I'm really a standard brand - like Campbell's tomato soup or Baker's chocolate. - Katharine Hepburn

I love cookies baking. During the winter, they have these candles that smell like cookies, and I always buy like a hundred of them. - Jared Padalecki

If you're trying to create a company, it's like baking a cake. You have to have all the ingredients in the right proportion. - Elon Musk

My father was a baker and a lot of people do what their families did and I could have done that but I wanted to stay in show business. - Christopher Walken

Where our bread is concerned, it is a material matter. Where our neighbor's bread is concerned, it is a spiritual matter. - I.D. Douglas

Instead of doing cinnamon, nutmeg, and all those baking spices I'll have one spice that's for sweets, and that's pumpkin pie spice. - Sandra Lee

It's very easy to confuse Sean Connery with James Bond. Sometimes in the entertainment industry, people believe the cake is more real than the baker. - Judd Nelson

I'm a very keen baker; I pride myself on my cakes. I go along the classic sponge line, but I like to jazz it up: I've made some psychedelic birthday cakes. - Greg Rutherford

Baking cookies is equal to Queen Victoria running an empire. There's no difference in how seriously you take the job, how seriously you approach your whole life. - Martha Stewart

Marketing is not bragging, and touting one's wares is not evil. The baker in the medieval town square must holler, 'Fresh rolls!' if he hopes to feed the townfolk. - Jeffrey Zeldman

It would be curious to know what leads a man to become a stationer rather than a baker, when he is no longer compelled, as among the Egyptians, to succeed to his father's craft. - Honore de Balzac

She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker.
She said, "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!"
So I bought her an electric chair. - Red Skelton

I'm always down to try a new burger, but Shake Shack is still my top. What makes them so special is for the bread they use Martin's potato rolls which is just the best hamburger buns ever. - Aziz Ansari


Thin Polar Bear

Hand Tool

Rainbow Beer

They Found Your Balls

Giraffe Pet

Hard Working Cop

Cattle Herding in Africa

Dutch Cowboy

How Bachelors Kill Moths

Tonsil Ring

Portrait Gallery

Piano Dog

The Art Of Politics

Martini Shirt

American Mustache

Wedding Room Dress

Redneck TP

Big Bird Feeder

City Work Crew's Slow Day

Cow Trampoline

Suspicious Blood Donor

Friends In High Places

Hair Cut Toupee

Finger Physio