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Caring is the essence of nursing. - Jean Watson

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

It's better to burn out than to fade away. - Neil Young

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey. - Kenji Miyazawa

I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman

Any time you're near a kangaroo, it's a close call. - Jerry O'Connell

It's like trying to pin down a kangaroo on a trampoline. - Sid Waddell

The last mosquito that bit me had to check into the Betty Ford clinic. - Joanna Lumley

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain. - Joseph Campbell

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

Was this the face that launched a thousand ships, and burnt the towers of Ilium? - Christopher Marlowe

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn? - Bob Hope

The same hot lightning that burns your blood with passion–– cools your fears with peace. - Aberjhani

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

Whenever you see darkness, there is extraordinary opportunity for the light to burn brighter. - Bono

Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold

He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days. - Groucho Marx

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. - Joan Crawford

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out. - Dolly Parton

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Operation Re-elect Bush' doesn't seem to be popular. - Jay Leno

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer


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