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You Can't Fix Stupid

Sedation for the nation

You Can't Fix Stupid thanks to Louisa Powers

How nurses deal with stupid

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Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer. - Joan Rivers

A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain. - WC Fields

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

How much pain have cost us the evils that have never happened. - Thomas Jefferson

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

Out of suffering comes creativity. You cannot spell painting without pain. - John Lithgow

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

Humor does not diminish the pain - it makes the space around it get bigger. - Allen Klein

This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce

When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons

Pain is neither intolerable nor everlasting... it is in the power of the soul to maintain its own serenity. - Marcus Aurelius

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman

Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes. - Bob Thaves

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

Do something everyday that you don't want to do. This is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain. - Mark Twain

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler


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