#1 humor site on the 'net

Wine Time

Are you an amateur drinker?

Wine Time thanks to Howard Chapman

QuotaBills
Live with no time out. - Simone de Beauvoir

Time you enjoy wasting was not wasted. - John Lennon

Time ripens all things, no man is born wise. - Miguel de Cervantes

There is a time for words and a time for sleep. - Homer

Being rich is having money, being wealthy is having time. - Stephen Swid

An unhurried sense of time is in itself a form of wealth. - Bonnie Friedman

Time hath often cured the wound which reason failed to heal. - Seneca

The mark of a good book is it changes every time you read it. - Anderson Cooper

I've been on a calendar, but I've never been on time. - Marilyn Monroe

A society of sheep must in time beget a government of wolves. - Bertrand de Jouvenel

I cannot believe in a God who wants to be praised all the time. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

When I was a child, nobody died; but now it happens all the time. - Unknown

My father... one of the great immorals, er, immortals, of our time. - WC Fields

The Republic of China - back in the Olympic Games for the first time. - David Coleman

I also do my own processing, so it means a big commitment in lab time. - Leonard Nimoy

Every time I fill a vacant office, I make ten malcontents and one ingrate. - Louis XIV

Don't spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door. - Coco Chanel

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. - George Carlin

To achieve great things, two things are needed: a plan, and not quite enough time. - Leonard Bernstein

All my life I've looked at words as though I were seeing them for the first time. - Ernest Hemingway

He who waits for a roast duck to fly into his mouth must wait a very, very long time. - Chinese Proverb

Children need the freedom and time to play. Play is not a luxury. Play is a necessity. - Kay R. Jamison

Bureaucracy defends the status quo long past the time when the quo has lost its status. - Laurence J. Peter

Reason is not time only interpreter of life. The fountain of action is in time feelings. - Henry T. Tuckerman

I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap. - Bob Hope

Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it deserves it. - Mark Twain

Every time you tear a leaf off a calendar, you present a new place for new ideas and progress. - Charles Kettering

I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright

If fat people just gave skinny people more food, we could solve obesity and hunger at the same time. - Ashton Kutcher

If you have to choose between drinking wine every day or being skinny, which would you choose: Red or White? - Unknown

God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time. - Robin Williams

I was a Democrat for a period of time early on. And then I was also an independent. And then I became a Republican. - Donald Trump

I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off. - Pat Paulsen

That old law about "an eye for an eye" leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing. - Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.

For a long time now I have tried simply to write the best I can. Sometimes I have good luck and write better than I can. - Ernest Hemingway

Today will never come again. Be a blessing. Be a friend. Encourage someone. Take time to care. Let your words heal, and not wound. - Unknown

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye. - Jim Henson

In this age of microblogging and two-second sound bites, almost no one has the attention span, or time, to read more than a few sentences. - Tim Frick

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor

Freedom comes only to those who no longer ask of life that it shall yield them any of those personal goods that are subject to the mutations of time. - Bertrand Russell


Mechanic Apprentice

Redneck Helicopter

Hairy Egg

Fork Door Handle

Making Hockey More Popular

Suitcase WorkPlace

One-Knight Stands

Stealth Cell Phone Tower

Holes of the World

Sunken Bed

Australian Wildfire Survivor

Rat Toys

Radish Camouflage

Apple Art

Cake Finders

Shot Glasses

Frog Spout Security

Chopper Bicycle

Canadian Suntan

Walkway To Heaven

Groucho Marx and Jimmy Savile

Despicable Shoes

Prayer Conditioning

Lazy People Make Excellent Engineers