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Wife Of The Year

Budweiser does its part to save marriage relationships

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Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

Who has a bad wife, his hell begins on earth. - Dutch Proverb

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

Would a lion cheat on his wife? No, but a Tiger Would. - Unknown

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. - Oscar Wilde

My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday. - Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Milton Berle

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. - Henny Youngman

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal. - Rodney Dangerfield

A man's mother is his misfortune, but his wife is his fault. - Walter Begehot

In my house I'm the boss. My wife is just the decision maker. - Woody Allen

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. - Sigmund Freud

I'm having trouble managing the mansion. What I need is a wife. - Ella Grasso

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. - Shelley Winters

My wife and I are getting remarried. Our divorce didn't work out. - Rodney Dangerfield

My wife and I thought we were in love, but it turned out to be benign. - Woody Allen

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. - E. Joseph Cossman

I met my wife on a ferry boat, and when we landed she gave me the slip. - Groucho Marx

I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife. - Tony Curtis

My wife tells me that if I ever decide to leave, she's coming with me. - Jon Bon Jovi

My best friend ran away with my wife. And let me tell you, I really miss him. - Henny Youngman

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

Valentine's Day - a nice holiday because it's the first day of the rest of your wife. - Milton Berle

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be in my bath, and she'd come in and sink my boats. - Woody Allen

I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with 28 years ago. - Will Rogers

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day. - Jay Leno

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

My wife simply quoted, 'For better or worse.' It was only then that I realized the phrase was not multiple-choice. - Michael Gurnow

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to "the best woman a man ever had." The waiter joined me. - Rodney Dangerfield

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster


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