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Wife Of The Year

Budweiser does its part to save marriage relationships

Wife Of The Year thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Kitimat, B.C. shopper after record-setting snowfall

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Take my wife - please! - Henny Youngman

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

My wife was too beautiful for words, but not for arguments. - John Barrymore

The antiques my wife buys at auctions are keeping me baroque. - Peter De Vries

A husband's conjungal and a wife's convivial obligation - Archie Bunker

My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects. - Les Dawson

A man's mother is his misfortune, but his wife is his fault. - Walter Begehot

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. - Sigmund Freud

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

I met my wife on a ferry boat, and when we landed she gave me the slip. - Groucho Marx

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown

When my wife asked me to start a garden the first thing I dug up was an excuse. - Henny Youngman

All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express. - Milton Berle

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

A son is a son till he takes him a wife, a daughter is a daughter all of her life. - Unknown

My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night. - Rodney Dangerfield

I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming. - Jimmy Carter

My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby

It was partially my fault that we got divorced. I tended to place my wife under a pedestal. - Woody Allen

In Las Vegas, a man said to his wife, "Give me the money I told you not to give me." - Henny Youngman

I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with 28 years ago. - Will Rogers

A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. - Joey Adams

Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they are on the same side. - Zig Ziglar

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, "I was just whispering in her mouth". - Groucho Marx

For twenty-four years I've been in love with the same woman. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me. - Henny Youngman

My wife simply quoted, 'For better or worse.' It was only then that I realized the phrase was not multiple-choice. - Michael Gurnow

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson

My wife and I tried two or three times in the last 40 years to have breakfast together, but it was so disagreeable we had to stop. - Winston Churchill

One disadvantage of being a hog is that at any moment some blundering fool may try to make a silk purse out of your wife's ear. - J.B. Morton

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx


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