#1 humor site on the 'net

Weekend Plans

Looking forward to staring at your cell phone?

Weekend Plans thanks to Gerry Cavers

Social media guide for stay-at-home relationships

QuotaBills
In the cookie of life, friends are chocolate chips. - Salman Rushdie

Those who seek faultless friends will remain friendless. - Unknown

If you make friends with yourself you will never be alone. - Maxwell Maltz

You shall judge a man by his foes as well as by his friends. - Joseph Conrad

It's the friends you can call up at 4:00 a.m. that matter. - Marlene Dietrich

He will never have true friends who is afraid of making enemies. - William Hazlitt

Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone? - James Thurber

He hasn't an enemy in the world, but all his friends hate him. - Unknown

If it’s the Psychic Network, why do they need a phone number? - Robin Williams

I get my exercise running to the funerals of my friends who exercise. - Barry Gray

Most women are afraid of clowns, but somehow end up still dating one. - Unknown

In politics, madame, you need two things: friends, but above all an enemy. - Brian Mulroney

Most of life's great moments happen when your phone is in your pocket. - Unknown

Without friends no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods. - Aristotle

We need old friends to help us grow old and new friends to help us stay young. - Letty Cottin Pogrebin

Google+ is the gym of social networking: we all join, but nobody actually uses it. - Unknown

Advice from your friends is like the weather, some of it is good, some of it is bad. - Unknown

My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night. - Rodney Dangerfield

It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Often we have no time for our friends, but all the time in the world for our enemies. - Billy Joel

My twitter has become so powerful that I can actually make my enemies tell the truth. - Donald Trump

Ladies and gentlemen are permitted to have friends in the kennel but not in the kitchen. - George Bernard Shaw

We cherish our friends not for their ability to amuse us, but for our ability to amuse them. - Evelyn Waugh

The next time you hear a social media myth, question it. Ask for the proof, and ask out loud. - Dan Zarrella

Tart words make no friends: A spoonful of honey will catch more flies than a gallon of vinegar. - Benjamin Franklin

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places. - Mark Twain

Celebrate the happiness that friends are always giving, make every day a holiday and celebrate just living! - Amanda Bradley

He who has a thousand friends has not a friend to spare, and he who has one enemy shall meet him everywhere. - Ali ibn-Abi-Talib

Don't make friends who are comfortable to be with. Make friends who will force you to lever yourself up. - Thomas J. Watson Sr.

If you are in the job for glamour, you're in for the shock of your life. The media is a huge shark pool. - Trisha Goddard

Idealism is like a castle in the air if it is not based on a solid foundation of social and political realism. - Claude McKay

Keeping books on social aid is capitalistic nonsense. I just use the money for the poor. I can't stop to count it. - Evita Peron

No real social change has ever been brought about without a revolution... revolution is but thought carried into action. - Emma Goldman

I like thieves. Some of my best friends are thieves. Why, just last week we had the president of the bank over for dinner. - WC Fields

The longer we live the more we think and the higher the value we put on friendship and tenderness towards parents and friends. - Samuel Johnson

The biggest mistake we see companies make when they first hit Twitter is to think about it as a channel to push out information. - Tim O'Reilly

Carry your courage in an easily accessible place, the way you do your cellphone or your wallet. Courage is the ultimate career move. - Anna Quindlen

Social Security's not the hard one to solve. Medicare, that is the gorilla in the room, and you've got to put all of it on the table. - Joe Biden

For the past 10 years, corporations have been trained that they should use all the different media. But the Internet is becoming the umbrella. - Larry Weber

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo


Racing a 'Hot Rod'

Why Elk Have Long Antlers

Biting Shoes

Romanian Auto Safety

New Player

Hoser

Garden Gnome

Hotel Waterfall

Security Guard

Real FootBall

Burger King Street

SkeleChair

Eating Kaka

Dark Side Bus Stop

Escher Stairs

Dog Hair Coffee

Round Table

Mt. Rushmore from the Canadian Side

WinDoor

Welcome Doorknob

Trillion Dollar Man

Rabbit Boost

Engine-eering

Mustang Limo